I know I'm not gonna survive my chosen method, it's mathematically impossible. I'm gonna shave, cut my nails, and just try to enjoy my last days, enjoy some new content that's coming out soon. I'm ugly but I don't mind going out in style. I know it's gonna hurt but this will be a guaranteed death. I don't have a planned date, that would only add unnecessary stress. And you always have to leave room for if you back out. It's gonna be more so when the time is right. I've purposefully been stalling because there's still some more content that's been coming out that I wanted to enjoy. But the end is coming.
I'm kind of in the same boat.
It's this weird juxtaposition where I'm elated, almost euphoric that I will be leaving soon, and as you mentioned, I've made certain that there is no possibility for failure. This is a one and done for me (never attempted before), as survival is not an option so I have insurance plans on top of insurance plans that my bus ride is a one way ticket.
I'm not afraid to die, per se, as I don't believe death is the end, however I do have periodic moments where I'm still a little anxious about the unknown. Because I am an overthinker, my mind often wanders to things like "one second I will be alive and here, and then what next? What will it feel like to be in this new environment?".
Just my belief, but I do think we've died many, many times before. I also believe that birth is much more of a traumatic experience than death and I know there is nothing to be scared of, but alas, I am anxious when I get to thinking about the actual act of dying.
