fearing life more than death

[Surai]

when you have love for death so much. Life starts to feel more fearfull. Life becomes more torturous of a thought than death. It makes me feel worse knowing this. I wish we could find a way out. I wish we could all find a way out. Oh how much I hope and plead to the skies, to myself, I want it all to go away. Theres a bit of me that I still Have some sort of hope. But is that SI again. the thoughts of "if I hadnt figured this out already" Where I was younger and had not known too much, not experienced more. Now not even for a moment or a second do I feel the same way about things. And I want stretch out and show how much this rips me apart but Im always alone. So ill sit here and spin the circles that find itself around me. my head falls down and Ill give up again like I always do., Because I know its pointless.