i fear life and the unbearable pain and extreme suffering life and this world can impose on me .
i do fear a failing a suicide attempt and remaining alive with more brain damage or more damage or pain during a suicide attempt . i don't fear Death because during Death / non-existence forever i can't feel pain nor have problems . 1 micro second after my brain dies i will cease to exist forever.
i don't fear Death. how can i fear something that will solve all my problems instantly and forever. something that will guarantee i never suffer nor feel pain nothing bad ever again. I'm sure after Death is non-existence forever. it will be like the time before i was born. for 13.8 billion years before i was born every second i didn't have a problem that i didn't exist , i couldn't suffer nor care about anything i didn't have any problems . the big problems began for me only after they birthed me into this horrible evil world as an always hungry animal that can suffer extremely with constant needs. who would prefer that state to the state of non-existence ? If i go back to the year 1859 i didn't exist . and i didn't have all these problems then . i didn't have the threat of extreme torture. every second of the 13.8 billion years before i was born i didn't have the slighest care or worry or problem or chance of pain. it's only when i was conceived and born with a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain did the problems began for me every day after i was born i lived under threat of extreme torture, having to feed myself sevaral times a day , drink water, chores, work ... but i don't want to do any of that crap. Death would free me from a horrible situation and any future suffering or any old age any disease that could befall me .
