Existential Crisis and Derealization

[dontsaveher]

Is anyone else constantly having an existential crisis and don't feel real most of the time? Personally, I have trouble accepting that my surroundings, situation and even I myself are real, I feel like I'm in a nightmare I'm waiting to wake up from.

Everything feels surreal and I'm perpetually questioning why I was brought into this world just to suffer while being frustrated that humans will most likely never figure out the mystery of existence.

The thought of having to ctb is also such an absurd experience. It is deeply disturbing to brought into this world just to be pushed to the point of having to take one's own life.

 

[amor.dor]

The way you wrote reminded me a lot of Roquentin's nausea in Sartre's book, in the way you perceive the contingency of things and this distresses you.
It's very true that life seems like a dream. We wake up as we accept our own "self," and life becomes calmer for us, even though the world only gets worse.
About life and death, I agree, life is very strange, but...
Life gives us no guarantees, so why would death give us any?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

yeah it's a horror

i'm a brain and brain cells

but these brain cells connecting create the illusion there is a self . but it feels very real , the unbearable pain is real and the only thing that matters to me to avoid excruciating pain

i'm a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain

trillions of animals at least the ancestor the mammals and reptiles had this same horror the ability to suffer extreme torture

but fish can also suffer intense pain so it's there in the fish too. i'm just a fish, a lizard, a mouse but the illusion is i'm the center of the universe. it's an abomination beyond words

 

[alstroemeria55]

Deeply relate. At this point "feeling real" is distressing. I hate looking in the mirror or having pictures taken or thinking too long about the fact that I exist, whatever that means. And even without feeling real life and my memories are too painful. I feel trapped in a paradox and this feeling which makes me believe nothing will ever feel better and I will never have positive experiences makes me want to die already.