
batmanreal
nobody gaf
- Sep 9, 2025
- 48
life is so boring. when it's not boring, it's just miserable, or some mix of both.
i just can't enjoy anything. in everything i do or consume, there's always some aspect reminding me of why i want to die. talking to people makes me feel like shit and all my hobbies make me depressed or angry. even music makes me feel worse, no matter what i'm listening to. everything i watch makes me feel worse. any kind of self harm makes me feel incompetent because i can't even harm myself in a way that feels sufficient—i don't even get that immediate relief that i used to get from self harm. so, i pretty much have no escape. every single day, i just do what's required for that day (basic hygiene, work, chores, errands), then wait for the next day. if i try to do anything more, i'll feel worse because everything goes wrong. i only enjoy sleeping, but i struggle to do even that. i used to have little things that i looked forward to each day, but those things make me sad now. all the things that i've been looking forward to this year have gone to shit. everything just worsens my mood, i'm so tired of living. there's not a single enjoyable moment in my day.
i just can't enjoy anything. in everything i do or consume, there's always some aspect reminding me of why i want to die. talking to people makes me feel like shit and all my hobbies make me depressed or angry. even music makes me feel worse, no matter what i'm listening to. everything i watch makes me feel worse. any kind of self harm makes me feel incompetent because i can't even harm myself in a way that feels sufficient—i don't even get that immediate relief that i used to get from self harm. so, i pretty much have no escape. every single day, i just do what's required for that day (basic hygiene, work, chores, errands), then wait for the next day. if i try to do anything more, i'll feel worse because everything goes wrong. i only enjoy sleeping, but i struggle to do even that. i used to have little things that i looked forward to each day, but those things make me sad now. all the things that i've been looking forward to this year have gone to shit. everything just worsens my mood, i'm so tired of living. there's not a single enjoyable moment in my day.