Venting everything sucks, nothing's fun

[batmanreal]

life is so boring. when it's not boring, it's just miserable, or some mix of both.
i just can't enjoy anything. in everything i do or consume, there's always some aspect reminding me of why i want to die. talking to people makes me feel like shit and all my hobbies make me depressed or angry. even music makes me feel worse, no matter what i'm listening to. everything i watch makes me feel worse. any kind of self harm makes me feel incompetent because i can't even harm myself in a way that feels sufficient—i don't even get that immediate relief that i used to get from self harm. so, i pretty much have no escape. every single day, i just do what's required for that day (basic hygiene, work, chores, errands), then wait for the next day. if i try to do anything more, i'll feel worse because everything goes wrong. i only enjoy sleeping, but i struggle to do even that. i used to have little things that i looked forward to each day, but those things make me sad now. all the things that i've been looking forward to this year have gone to shit. everything just worsens my mood, i'm so tired of living. there's not a single enjoyable moment in my day.

 

[lost_one]

I am so sorry you feel this way. I can relate quite a bit, and it sucks. Again I am really sorry. Good luck I hope you can find something that makes you feel different in the future

 

[themindian]

I kind of feel you, for me like I find everything boring too, but only cuz every single thing that I would do in my day to day routine just takes A METRIC FUCK TON OF EFFORT. Like I have to space out cleaning my house over the course of the weekend and it's not even that dirty but it's super hard.

That and I just generally feel like I have a giant invisible weight on me all the time but also my hobbies kind of give me a bit of joy. It's actually kind of nice, I have a whole motion control method that I invented to act like I'm standing up in first person shooters. It works really well. But it's just one of the those things that's SUPER HARD to accomplish now even a short session of vidya.

:*(

 

[Vlad Tepes]

I know right? I'm a severely autistic NEET and have exactly 0 friends. My routine consists of waking up whenever, watching movies, watching youtube, playing video games, reading about stuff I like, then going to sleep at whenever. Oh my fucking god I just want to have a normal life instead of "living" like a damn guinea pig.

 

[fallingbehind]

Exactly. Literally nothing makes me excited. I dont have hobbies, I was made to join so much clubs as a kid and I failed at everything I did. Media and food are pretty much the only things that keep my brain from melting, and all I do is rewatch shit I USED to like at one point, and binge on slop that tastes like puke.

 

[I'm scared]

I had fun playing video games until recently now they make me mad