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deadtrash666

deadtrash666

β›§π•­π–‘π–†π–ˆπ– π•Έπ–Šπ–™π–†π–‘β›§
May 20, 2023
15
Ive been trying to get help. I've been trying. I've been getting in so many fights with my roommates and been crashing out to my partner, and I've been recommended therapy by my roommate, he thinks I'm fuckin nuts. And I tried to get a hold of the place for 2 days in a row now, to no response. All I've been thinking about is how much I wanna be gone. I wish I didn't exist. I'm constantly so embarrassed by my actions in all places, my home life, my family, my relationship, my job. I hate myself so much. I hate my actions. I wish I could just end my thoughts. I decided I'm gunna buy a gun soon. Just in case. Only just in case. I'm so tired. I'm so lonely. I feel like nobody can be there for me. I don't even wanna be here. And I'm stuck at work rn writing this and crying in the bathroom. I work at a factory. If anyone seen my doing this, theyd call me a pussy :( I feel like I can't talk to anyone I know about this all
 
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jatty

jatty

zero emotional regulation
Nov 13, 2023
67
Jesus christ.. seriously!
Ive been CRYING for help. People just help me a little bit. A couple days later im blown off. I texted my old therapist in a crisis and he said "schedule an appointment?"
my academic counselor was there for me a little bit, like 45 mins but is now so cold. Ive been crashing out for ages!! IVE CALLED SO MANY HOTLINES BEFORE. IVE TALKED TO MY DOCTOR. BOTH TREATED ME LIKE I WAS JUST SOME COG.
PEOPLE SAY GET HELP BUT NO ONE FUCKING HELPS AND STAYS!! I CANT HANDLE IT

edit: sorry for being angry op. Just want to let you know there are so many similar people out there. Just know sasu will understand
 
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Cloud Busting

Cloud Busting

Formerly pinkribbonscars
Sep 9, 2023
541
during my suicidal breakdown in the summer of 2023, I tried calling for a therapist and I was told it was a six month waiting list and I saw that as a sign that I should kill myself.

It makes you feel even more hopeless when you can't get help. I understand completely. Not only is accessing help difficult, it's also overwhelming. I'm lucky that I requested two consults recently and both got back to me, and that they are accepting Medicaid and both are into ifs and trauma/somatic therapy over standard cbt bullshit

Are there other places you can call? Unfortunately there is a high demand amongst a shortage. In a post-covid world, receiving health care is hard af, and it's only going to get worse under dump
 
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T

TBONTB

Elementalist
May 31, 2025
843
Ive been trying to get help. I've been trying. I've been getting in so many fights with my roommates and been crashing out to my partner, and I've been recommended therapy by my roommate, he thinks I'm fuckin nuts. And I tried to get a hold of the place for 2 days in a row now, to no response. All I've been thinking about is how much I wanna be gone. I wish I didn't exist. I'm constantly so embarrassed by my actions in all places, my home life, my family, my relationship, my job. I hate myself so much. I hate my actions. I wish I could just end my thoughts. I decided I'm gunna buy a gun soon. Just in case. Only just in case. I'm so tired. I'm so lonely. I feel like nobody can be there for me. I don't even wanna be here. And I'm stuck at work rn writing this and crying in the bathroom. I work at a factory. If anyone seen my doing this, theyd call me a pussy :( I feel like I can't talk to anyone I know about this all
Sending kindness your way

And this is weird...but use chat gpt for a therapist until you get a real one
 
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deadtrash666

deadtrash666

β›§π•­π–‘π–†π–ˆπ– π•Έπ–Šπ–™π–†π–‘β›§
May 20, 2023
15
Sending kindness your way

And this is weird...but use chat gpt for a therapist until you get a real one
Thank you, Ive done that so many times and it just doesn't cut it anymore. It ain't weird to me. Just I'm tired of doing it.
during my suicidal breakdown in the summer of 2023, I tried calling for a therapist and I was told it was a six month waiting list and I saw that as a sign that I should kill myself.

It makes you feel even more hopeless when you can't get help. I understand completely. Not only is accessing help difficult, it's also overwhelming. I'm lucky that I requested two consults recently and both got back to me, and that they are accepting Medicaid and both are into ifs and trauma/somatic therapy over standard cbt bullshit

Are there other places you can call? Unfortunately there is a high demand amongst a shortage. In a post-covid world, receiving health care is hard af, and it's only going to get worse under dump
I think but this one was specifically for trauma and shit like that :/ I'm just a lil discouraged and stressed from life in general. I'm just having a lot of issues atm and I feel worthless ahaha.
Jesus christ.. seriously!
Ive been CRYING for help. People just help me a little bit. A couple days later im blown off. I texted my old therapist in a crisis and he said "schedule an appointment?"
my academic counselor was there for me a little bit, like 45 mins but is now so cold. Ive been crashing out for ages!! IVE CALLED SO MANY HOTLINES BEFORE. IVE TALKED TO MY DOCTOR. BOTH TREATED ME LIKE I WAS JUST SOME COG.
PEOPLE SAY GET HELP BUT NO ONE FUCKING HELPS AND STAYS!! I CANT HANDLE IT

edit: sorry for being angry op. Just want to let you know there are so many similar people out there. Just know sasu will understand
Don't need to apologize for being angry. As a fellow crash out, respect πŸ‘Š I'm a mix between angry and sad very very often
 
Last edited:
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Cloud Busting

Cloud Busting

Formerly pinkribbonscars
Sep 9, 2023
541
Well life continues to be shit. People celebrate the death of Kirk when this actually legitimizes his beliefs and made him even more well known than before! And the right is blaming the left, the left is claiming he's a gropyer, people are blaming Israel and pretending like he wasn't actually in the pocket of Israel. Everyone is twisting and distorting this murder to further their political agenda. It's grotesque. I hate social media.

Tomorrow is bfs mri and I'm stressed and anxious it's a serious problem that can't be fixed. I really wish I could disappear, but my partner needs me, so I need to remain strong

Thank you, Ive done that so many times and it just doesn't cut it anymore. It ain't weird to me. Just I'm tired of doing it.

I think but this one was specifically for trauma and shit like that :/ I'm just a lil discouraged and stressed from life in general. I'm just having a lot of issues atm and I feel worthless ahaha.

Don't need to apologize for being angry. As a fellow crash out, respect πŸ‘Š I'm a mix between angry and sad very very often
I don't know your insurance or financial situation but you can try psychology today and filter for specialities.
 
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deadtrash666

deadtrash666

β›§π•­π–‘π–†π–ˆπ– π•Έπ–Šπ–™π–†π–‘β›§
May 20, 2023
15
I don't know your insurance or financial situation but you can try psychology today and filter for specialities.
I have no insurance lolol. But I can afford like probably 1 or 2 sessions a month.
 
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SoulCage

SoulCage

Student
Dec 28, 2023
157
It makes you feel even more hopeless when you can't get help. I understand completely. Not only is accessing help difficult, it's also overwhelming.
It's not only the hopelessness.. it is the pain of being rejected, the feeling you are unwanted and just a burden for the system. This is the worst for me... Feeling sick but then being treated like I shouldn't exist.

I am already trying to get proper treatment for a year now and still have to go through evaluations from the social security system, I have to constantly proof that I am unwell and not functional to receive help. Maybe next time I should suggest euthanasia to make them realize that there is a way for them to save money.
 

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