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miserablemonster

New Member
Nov 8, 2023
1
Hello friends,

This is my first post on here. I had been a lurker for some while and than chose to try and get help but nothing is better after all my efforts so I am back. I think the biggest thing for me right now is that I have no one. This world is impossible to live in in pure loneliness and with no one who understands you and your pain. Not to mention the burden I am on my family and the lack of passion and talent I have to be able to find happiness even without anyone. I have nothing to bring to this world and there's nothing I can do about that. I just want everything to end.

I just needed to get that out but now my method. I live in an area surrounded by lakes. Although I know the immense pain that comes with drowning, it is the only method I know will work and be accessible to me. I wanted to see however if anyone had any advice for me in following through with this. I have weights that I was going to put in a backpack and secure with string around my body. The thing is, I'm not sure how much weight I need for it to ensure I won't be able to swim up and save myself from SI. I weigh around 140 lbs. I know SI is strong, but I want to ensure that once I'm in the water there is nothing I can do to save myself and I need help navigating how to do that. I don't want to fail an attempt. That would make everything even more impossible so any help I can get literally any advice please leave a reply.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I intend to try and be active on here and would love to make some friends that can help me on my journey to leaving.
 
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Dingusguy

Dingusguy

I just want to sleep...
Oct 20, 2023
151
Drowning is hardcore, not my first choice but if I did choose it I would wear clothing that easily gets soaked, so like a hoodie or a wool jacket and some thick jogging pants. That would all make it harder to swim back up, and as for how much weight you'd need to hold you down, I am not sure but from what I can find 50 - 60 lbs. is already stupidly hard to lift underwater, so I can only imagine it would be next to impossible to swim back up with that tied to you if you weigh around 140 lbs.

And personally I would probably get very drunk beforehand, it makes you braver, but also fucks with your mobility, and just maybe it will reduce the pain a little.

I hope this was helpful at all, if not I apologize
 
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Ashley_1988

Ashley_1988

Member
Dec 13, 2019
62
hey

i feel the same. The only option will be drowning or full suspension hanging to me. I am scared of both methods. But in regard to drowning, my idea was to use a cable tie - for my hands that I won't be able to swim. But I will be drunk of my ass as well, due to SI.

I am sorry u feel that way about ur situation- I still hope you're not as fucked up as I am and still find a way to be happy in ur life. I know it sounds kind of ironic - here i am with the same goal. But still want to make sure you're rethinking ur choice- But i am just hoping that other lives are better, and there will be hope that u ass well as other users find different options...and maybe will be happy some day..

Whatever u decide to choose- i wish u the best.
 
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