Doing really bad

[urgent]

I'm so sick and always in horrific pain. I'm bedridden. Every part of body hurts ,aches I have no quality of life losing dignity lost so much weight, took a really bad fall walking to the bathroom in the dark which I've done thousands of times but now the light is usually on I used to have my senses but I can't see much now my ears have felt pressure and I get ringing in my ears I'm shaking I didn't know I was walking so disoriented in to the bathtub didn't put hands in front fell so hard smashed my teeth, chipping 3 front teeth bruised jaw big bruises on my forehead, still have headache nausea, smashed knees and hip,elbow cut where I'm trying to heal a bedsore ,broke several nails low and got a blood blister slammed my ribs my back and neck hurts wrist pain so the brutal pain I'm in 24/7 is so excruciating I feel like I've been tortured like I was a POW. I lost so much weight so my bones hit hard I've been so worried about falling and breaking something my teeth already hurt from TMJ now they hurt and move I'm afraid they will fall out. No way I'm going to the dentist when my dehydrated lips are cut and I have torturing burning mouth and tongue syndrome and bruxism that started 16 years ago from a medication, then I was put on another med and another used off-brand, got severe insomnia, Ambien 10mg melatonin muscle relaxer, then the lawsuits against Ambien cut me to 5mg so they don't help much, I take Trazadon,Advil PM and Unisom and muscle relaxer to get 4 or 5 hours of unrested sleep waking from pain so many times Gastroparesis makes it so painful to eat a little or sip water my stomach hurts so badly. My temperature doesn't regulate I'm always freezing and I've never been able to stand the cold the weather has been rainy, the dampness makes my arthritic bones hurt more, kidney problems sclap to feet neuropathy feet numbness but burning like the rest of my skin and all this ontop of Lupus flare and all the other disease CF pernicious anemia so bad even with B injections every other day, migraine clusters fiber osteoarthritis osteoporosis degenerative disc disease bursitis carpal tunnel ulcers gastritis and more. I've been in unbearably pain for years but it has gotten to be torture I need mercy I can't bear these illnesses with no cure breaking my body down more every day I absolutely need it to end I want it to stop I need compassion assisted death asap

 

[peacebenow]

You are not alone. I understand and I am with you.