• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,651
I hate it. the second you wake up you don't realise it but then it hits you, and all the pain hits you even harder. waking up is almost the hardest part. I am miserable every single day.

I just fucking hate it. I hate the split second of consciousness I have before feeling the punch in the gut another day in this hellhole.

Every morning I'm disappointed that I wake up and have to live another whole day. I just want to pass away in my sleep. I forgot what it's like to have a good day.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Mi Mi, qsocdu, kunikuzushi and 28 others
I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,217
Yes, its the worst moment of the day, because it is when the suffering begins.

At least at night time, I know I can sleep soon and be temporarily free from the pain (unless i have nightmares)

A permanent sleep would be the best so I don't have to wake up in this hell ever again
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: myusername890, Yavannah, Waterfall500 and 11 others
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
13,105
Yes, definitely.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: myusername890, ijustwishtodie, marchshift and 2 others
Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
5,754
  • Like
Reactions: Waterfall500, TiredOfAllThis, ijustwishtodie and 5 others
Sivrit

Sivrit

Exiguous Melancholia
Mar 31, 2024
10
sometimes
 

Attachments

  • real sonic.png
    real sonic.png
    409.9 KB · Views: 0
  • Like
Reactions: ijustwishtodie and Darkover
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,028
I can't say that currently I hate waking up unlike I did when I was deeply depressed last year. However I wouldn't mind not waking up - that'd be best for everyone and me.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Yavannah, Waterfall500, Olisop21. and 3 others
offtoseethewizard

offtoseethewizard

Student
Aug 19, 2023
122
It's excruciating
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mi Mi, Raindancer, Waterfall500 and 4 others
davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
731
Unfortunately i only get 5 hours of sleep every night because of my chronic insomnia, sometimes only 4 hours. They're the only few hours a day I have peace from my joint pain and the mental stress is causes me.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Mi Mi, Waterfall500, iloverachel and 2 others
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,651
Unfortunately i only get 5 hours of sleep every night ,if that , sometimes only 4 hours. They're the only few hours a day I have peace from my joint pain and the mental stress is causes me.
do you take any sleeping aids
 
  • Like
Reactions: myusername890 and davidtorez
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,796
Yes, I hate waking up. I wish that I could go to sleep and never wake up for all eternity
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mi Mi, myusername890, Yavannah and 5 others
lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
587
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: myusername890, fantastic_unicorn, Waterfall500 and 1 other person
HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
I hate it because depression hits me right in the face. Mornings used to be the worst time of day but lately the afternoon is worse. Nothing to look foward to.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Olisop21., TiredOfAllThis, davidtorez and 1 other person
davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
731
do you take any sleeping aids
I was taking amitriptyline for a while but it gave me memory loss so stopped. I've tried melatonin which worked short term. Imrest is another short term sleep aid but I woke up the next day feeling like I hadnt slept anyway. I've given up with sleeping aids . I've tried natural stuff like chamomile tea etc , all bs that don't work.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: iloverachel and Darkover
HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
I was taking amitriptyline for a while but it gave me memory loss so stopped. I've tried melatonin which worked short term. Imrest is another short term sleep aid but I woke up the next day feeling like I hadnt slept anyway. I've given up with sleeping aids . I've tried natural stuff like chamomile tea etc , all bs that don't work.
Ever tried guided sleep meditation? Those work for me and youre not using any pills. There are a lot available on YouTube.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
H

hopeless08

Arcanist
Dec 8, 2023
492
I hate it. the second you wake up you don't realise it but then it hits you, and all the pain hits you even harder. waking up is almost the hardest part. I am miserable every single day.

I just fucking hate it. I hate the split second of consciousness I have before feeling the punch in the gut another day in this hellhole.

Every morning I'm disappointed that I wake up and have to live another whole day. I just want to pass away in my sleep. I forgot what it's like to have a good day.
I agree Mornings are absolute terror. I think most people feel that way. When I'm asleep it's an escape, the only time you feel a sense of peace. Waking up and realizing you're alive and having to face another day of the cruelty of reality and pain, is torture.
All I want to do is sleep. It's the only thing I have to look forward to.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: davidtorez, Joarga, TiredOfAllThis and 1 other person
lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
587
i dont even get peace in sleep. constantly plagued by nightmares for well over 15 yrs straight now... waking up crying/screaming/biting/punching/kicking etc has been a real showstopper with a few partners
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and Darkover
T

TiredOfAllThis

Arcanist
Feb 5, 2024
453
Every night I get to sleep with a hope of never waking up again.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mi Mi, myusername890, Rat Girl and 3 others
sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
Yeah I just woke up and I hate it. I wish I could sleep forever
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: myusername890, 4am, davidtorez and 2 others
I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,217
Yeah I just woke up and I hate it. I wish I could sleep forever
I just woke up from a short nap, its the absolute worst. Permanent sleep would be the best
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and Darkover
sserafim

sserafim

they say it's darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
9,012
I just woke up from a short nap, its the absolute worst. Permanent sleep would be the best
I just woke up from a night's sleep. I don't know why I woke up so early today. It isn't even 7. Permanent sleep *would* be the best. I wish I could spend my whole days sleeping. I didn't even consent to this existence anyways. I wish I could just sleep it away until I ctb
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: myusername890, Hotsackage, davidtorez and 2 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,168
Yes of course, it's always such a dreadful feeling to realise that I didn't fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and that I'm still trapped in this cruel and meaningless existence. Only never waking again is ideal to me, to simply be conscious and aware is a curse, I see beauty in being permanently unconscious especially as to exist as a conscious being with the ability to suffer to such extreme extents is completely undesirable.

To exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing much worse suffering at any moment and I don't want to suffer in any way, human existence is such a terrible, harmful abomination to me.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: myusername890, sserafim, davidtorez and 3 others
LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,469
Yes. Especially if I was chilling with a fellow SS user in my dream which happens on occasion.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aergia, sserafim, davidtorez and 1 other person
billie

billie

take me back to the night we met
Mar 31, 2024
623
I wish I would fall asleep and never wake up again
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: myusername890, astonishedturnip, divinemistress36 and 3 others
davidtorez

davidtorez

Warlock
Mar 8, 2024
731
Ever tried guided sleep meditation? Those work for me and youre not using any pills. There are a lot available on YouTube.
Any recommendations you can suggest? Which one worked for you?
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim and iloverachel
astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
265
It's the worst. I get maybe 1 second of peace before the OCD thoughts go into overdrive and start torturing me.

Before I went on meds I would get a panic attack every time I realized I was conscious. Excruciating.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: iloverachel and Darkover
ringo99

ringo99

Mage
Apr 18, 2023
501
I wouldn't mind waking up if it meant a swift painless death that same day
 
  • Like
Reactions: myusername890, sserafim and Darkover
HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
Any recommendations you can suggest? Which one worked for you?


This one works for me. There are also meditations with visualization (imagine yourself being somewhere) but those are not my thing. This meditation is more in the realm of mindfulness.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and sserafim
singularity3

singularity3

Experienced
Apr 2, 2023
213
It's a nightmare homie. Worst moment of all
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: myusername890, sserafim and Darkover
untothedepths

untothedepths

death wont return my calls
Mar 20, 2023
642
Absolutely. Seems like the pain hurts just a little bit more waking up. Had fun taking a handful of cheap sleep aids though, kept falling back asleep. Should do it again soon, screw my liver.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: davidtorez, sserafim and Darkover
BlendedHeart

BlendedHeart

It is what it is
Mar 9, 2024
240
The second I wake up my brain attacks: "Ayyyy, welcome back. Here are some bad thoughts to start the day".

So yeah.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: qsocdu, davidtorez, sserafim and 1 other person

Similar threads