Whenever I get into a severe depressive episode, I usually beat myself and plan on ways to kill myself. I don't meticulously carve into myself with a knife nor do I get my affairs in order to even make an attempt on my own life... I just... lie in bed. Sometimes I sleep all day. Sometimes I collapse and cry around the house, having accomplished nothing. Even in the state I am now, reflecting on how, ever since I developed my PTSD as a child, I have always hated myself deep down and wanted to die young, I still can't bring myself to die, just as much as I can't bring myself to call my doctor or make food. What the hell is wrong with me?
Liebestod
I’ll do it whenever I stop being a coward
- Mar 15, 2025
- 105
100%, I suspect that's the reason alongside general SI and other copes why I haven't ordered my gun yet.
![[Lord Void]](/data/avatars/l/115/115302.jpg?1757877360){kind=avatar}
[Lord Void]
Member
- Sep 14, 2025
- 22
To answer the question, yes without a doubt. I mean today I had wanted to write one of my notes or something and instead ended up accomplishing nothing. It's terrible..
Terribly sorry that you both are going through the same thing I am. We're not in this alone. Hopefully things get better soon
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,445
Laziness isn't really the right word. It's more of a question of emotional inertia, which is very hard to overcome.
vampire2002
weeb & neet ♡
- Oct 8, 2023
- 178
it is a lot of effort, mentally, emotionally, and physically, to go through with it. for me, i'm currently at the "laziness" stage where i find sourcing the materials needed for my CTB to be too exhausting/stressful for the energy levels my mental and physical health allow me each day. (especially since i don't live alone.) i really regret not ordering SN back before i moved, like i wanted to but chickened out of (because i also didn't live alone back then either and the risk of wellness checks petrifies me.)
