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Does anyone else know that life will probably get better but they just can’t hold on until then?
Thread starterwhenwillthepainstop
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My best friend had treatment resistant depression and tried so many medications and treatments and her doctors and therapists were out of ideas. She was looking into shock therapy, but the side effects can be pretty debilitating, and she was scared. I told her when nothing goes right, go left. I was thinking 7 Years in Tibet type of change. She and her husband were thinking of moving to California, I told her to do it. Go west. Adopt Buddhism. Try something that isn't therapy or treatment. She didn't adopt Buddhism but she found religion, and they moved, and a year later they came home pregnant and disillusioned with California. But she's never felt better. I must acknowledge that big changes like that are a lot easier with a supportive partner and dual income. I know how much harder it is alone.
Group therapy is very effective with personality disorders. It's not necessarily one and done either. I went earlier this year but I already feel like I need to go back. I'm borderline, for reference.
I'm not here to tell you what to do but have you tried EVERYTHING? Every mental health treatment that exists? Even ECT, or ketamine infusions, anything like that?
ECT can make people worse off (there's memory loss and other side effects associated with it that can worsen someone's quality of life) and ketamine may also have side effects too.
ECT can make people worse off (there's memory loss and other side effects associated with it that can worsen someone's quality of life) and ketamine may also have side effects too.
You're right but it's worth a shot, especially since death is the other option. Someone can CTB after trying all that if it doesn't work out, but I think they should at least try first. The worst that could happen is they get worse and at that point they can still CTB.
Yeah, I'm pretty acutely aware that my life is pretty good, all things considered. And honestly I've had some amazing strokes of luck over the last few years. I really shouldn't be where I am today. I have a pretty good job and at least I got to experience being in a relationship in spite of my...unfortunate looks. I know things will get better. I'll get over the heart break at some point, even if I have to cut off my ex. And I'm feeling pretty good about my new job prospects. I have one interview coming up and hopefully by the end of the month I'll know the status of the rest of the applications.
But ultimately I'm just tired. The heartbreak HASN'T gone away yet, and yeah that's completely my fault, but the point still stands. I doubt I'll get another boyfriend. I know everyone nowadays wants to be single and says you don't need a relationship and if that's a goal you're working towards then you're wrong. But I want to be in a relationship. I want to love someone and come home to them and be loved by someone. It's not a need, but to me life's not worth living if I'm single the rest of my life.
Yeah, I think I'm just apathetic too. I just don't care. I don't care if I live or die. I want to ctb simply because I want to. I think there's a lot of emotions behind this, but the main reason I'll ctb isn't because of emotions or logic, it'll simply be because I wanted to ctb and that's it.
Oh yeah, I also know these things can change. I can get over the heartbreak, I can find a new boyfriend, I can leave the city I'm in (another reason I want to ctb), but I'm just so tired. And apathetic. I don't care. I don't want to fix things, I just want to go.
Maybe it might... but it's been almost 10 years and its never stayed better for very long. Overall a downwards trend. I'm not really holding out hope that everything will be okay if I wait long enough.
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