Discussion Does anyone else isolate themselves?

[Leonard_Bangley39]

My whole life almost every social interaction ive had ended in failire or disaster. joking around with friends or acquaintances and later on learning that they thought i was annoying or rude and not liking me. talking with someone and offending them with sonething i said when i never even realized that what i said would be offensive. i feel part of it could be due to being born autistic but i dont like to apply that label to me too much or try to use it as aome kind of scapegoat and excuse for my actions and behavior.

its gotten to the point where every single interaction i have with anyone, be it irl or online, feels like defusing a bomb. constantly walking on eggshells, overthinking every single word i say, carefully choosing the tone i say it in, worried that somehow, what i say could cause everything to blow up in my face and fall apart. conversations with people never feel enjoyable, just a burden. just waiting for it to be over so i can go back to being by myself, not wanting to be rude and tell the person that i dont want to talk. i feel like an outsider everywhere.

i have no irl friends, i dont even know how i would find them. i hate the idea of walking up to people and starting a conversation. if it were me, i would just want to finish whatever 8m doing and go about my day and i apply that feeling to everyone i see so i just assume that if i tried to conversate, i would just annoy them. and even when i do try to have conversations with people, it always just feels awkward and sloppy. stuttering, jumbling my words and thoughts, only half hearing people at times, giving weird responses. it just makes me want to get out of the conversation even more so i can seclude myself in my own mind and enjoy peace in solitude.

and it feels impossible to try and join already established groups because i always feel like a 3rd party among everyone. whenever i join a small discord server, i can barely join in on any conversation going on because its eother about stuff i dont know or cant really give input on, or because everyone there already has established friends and i just feel like a background character. just floating around.

so ill just isolate myself sometimes. not opening discord for days, putting in my earbuds and avoiding any and all conversations at work, just saying the bare minimum required to get things across. ill lay in bed on my phone or sit at my desk on my laptop. existing in my mind alone, rather than in reality. every single interaction is an opportunity for things to go wrong.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December

I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I am a rock - Simon and Garfunkel

 

[BlueMist96]

I also isolate. I crave social interaction, but when I get it I panic and don't know what to do or say. I overthink everything and judge myself harshly. It just ends up being exhausting.

 

[silent wraith]

My whole life almost every social interaction ive had ended in failire or disaster. joking around with friends or acquaintances and later on learning that they thought i was annoying or rude and not liking me. talking with someone and offending them with sonething i said when i never even realized that what i said would be offensive. i feel part of it could be due to being born autistic but i dont like to apply that label to me too much or try to use it as aome kind of scapegoat and excuse for my actions and behavior.

its gotten to the point where every single interaction i have with anyone, be it irl or online, feels like defusing a bomb. constantly walking on eggshells, overthinking every single word i say, carefully choosing the tone i say it in, worried that somehow, what i say could cause everything to blow up in my face and fall apart. conversations with people never feel enjoyable, just a burden. just waiting for it to be over so i can go back to being by myself, not wanting to be rude and tell the person that i dont want to talk. i feel like an outsider everywhere.

i have no irl friends, i dont even know how i would find them. i hate the idea of walking up to people and starting a conversation. if it were me, i would just want to finish whatever 8m doing and go about my day and i apply that feeling to everyone i see so i just assume that if i tried to conversate, i would just annoy them. and even when i do try to have conversations with people, it always just feels awkward and sloppy. stuttering, jumbling my words and thoughts, only half hearing people at times, giving weird responses. it just makes me want to get out of the conversation even more so i can seclude myself in my own mind and enjoy peace in solitude.

and it feels impossible to try and join already established groups because i always feel like a 3rd party among everyone. whenever i join a small discord server, i can barely join in on any conversation going on because its eother about stuff i dont know or cant really give input on, or because everyone there already has established friends and i just feel like a background character. just floating around.

so ill just isolate myself sometimes. not opening discord for days, putting in my earbuds and avoiding any and all conversations at work, just saying the bare minimum required to get things across. ill lay in bed on my phone or sit at my desk on my laptop. existing in my mind alone, rather than in reality. every single interaction is an opportunity for things to go wrong.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December

I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I am a rock - Simon and Garfunkel

I don't know if it counts as isolation but unlike others I don't hang out with friends much and they understand - those that didn't left. I isolate for months at times before I finally accept to meet someone , it might be to protect myself from exhaust , but if I do go out...Lately I have found comfortable solitude in going to the park alone , patting some animals - that's where I truly feel like I am myself and for a minute I stop blaming myself for everything for being so weak

 

[Macedonian1987]

In the last 3 years i also totally isolated myself from anyone. The reason for this is Im just too tired of being ridiculed and shamed because of my asperger's.

 

[Dinnerwith6]

I also isolate. I crave social interaction, but when I get it I panic and don't know what to do or say. I overthink everything and judge myself harshly. It just ends up being exhausting.

I relate to this so much. I've cut everyone from my life yet I desire for someone to talk to. Except every time I do I just end up ghosting them, whether the interaction went well or not.

 

[PanaxMan]

My whole life almost every social interaction ive had ended in failire or disaster. joking around with friends or acquaintances and later on learning that they thought i was annoying or rude and not liking me. talking with someone and offending them with sonething i said when i never even realized that what i said would be offensive. i feel part of it could be due to being born autistic but i dont like to apply that label to me too much or try to use it as aome kind of scapegoat and excuse for my actions and behavior.

its gotten to the point where every single interaction i have with anyone, be it irl or online, feels like defusing a bomb. constantly walking on eggshells, overthinking every single word i say, carefully choosing the tone i say it in, worried that somehow, what i say could cause everything to blow up in my face and fall apart. conversations with people never feel enjoyable, just a burden. just waiting for it to be over so i can go back to being by myself, not wanting to be rude and tell the person that i dont want to talk. i feel like an outsider everywhere.

i have no irl friends, i dont even know how i would find them. i hate the idea of walking up to people and starting a conversation. if it were me, i would just want to finish whatever 8m doing and go about my day and i apply that feeling to everyone i see so i just assume that if i tried to conversate, i would just annoy them. and even when i do try to have conversations with people, it always just feels awkward and sloppy. stuttering, jumbling my words and thoughts, only half hearing people at times, giving weird responses. it just makes me want to get out of the conversation even more so i can seclude myself in my own mind and enjoy peace in solitude.

and it feels impossible to try and join already established groups because i always feel like a 3rd party among everyone. whenever i join a small discord server, i can barely join in on any conversation going on because its eother about stuff i dont know or cant really give input on, or because everyone there already has established friends and i just feel like a background character. just floating around.

so ill just isolate myself sometimes. not opening discord for days, putting in my earbuds and avoiding any and all conversations at work, just saying the bare minimum required to get things across. ill lay in bed on my phone or sit at my desk on my laptop. existing in my mind alone, rather than in reality. every single interaction is an opportunity for things to go wrong.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December

I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I am a rock - Simon and Garfunkel

On discord it's pretty easy to make friends if you find a good community since everyone there's is 99 percent a loser so I have no idea what's going on there. Usually being active is a big perk. I don't use discord anymore due to privacy reasons. But I'm also in the same boat. It would be nice to have friends around my age group but I graduated from a upper class neighborhood and well people are a lot different then from a middle class neighborhood

 

[NSA]

Ive isolated myself to the point it feels wierd to go outside . I should probably fix that. Ill add it to the list.

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

im hoping that when i manage to get some kind of prescription for any kind of depression medication i'll either feel better enough to socialize more or be too numb to care about isolating.

 

[whitetaildeer]

I do. I talk to absolutely no one, and as isolating as that is, I know I'm an extremely unpleasant and toxic person to be around. I'm kind of praying that once I get back on my antipsychotics that will change, but my hopes are incredibly slim.

 

[Wojaczek]

yeah, i'm tired of talking

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the honored one.

1. "You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)/Mark 8:36, Matthew 13:12

2. The grass withers, the flowers fade, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8)

3. The world hates liabilities, and would rather they not exist, as much as the rules dictate that all life is inherently valuable. (Proverbs 25:17)

• Even in a community of liabilities, there is no place for a liability. (John 15:18)

Therefore, as much as I desire to live, and that a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me; if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[Spite]

Most of the time, yeah. Although it's weird because I desire social connections and friendships, but also a lot of the time I just want to be left alone. Usually these days I avoid people and self-isolate in my room as much as I can.

 

[purebliss]

Well always happens involuntarily with me :')

I try to cut as many contacts as I can before I exit so people do not "cry about me".
The last thing I want is to impact other people as much as possible. Fully recognizing though that in the end there will be pain...

 

[starboy2k]

self isolation king here.
humanity annoys me, so literally no choice but to keep to myself.
yea that has consequences but I really don't give a shit at this point.

 

[Dejected 55]

Most people are so frustrating to me. Many don't care. Most are self-absorbed. They will ask you questions they don't want to hear your answer... they will say platitudes just to get rid of you. IF they need something you can provide, then they are into you in that moment until they get what they want... then they don't give a fuck after.

People don't want real relationships or real conversations. It's all just surface-level stuff. They will also try to gaslight you as if you are the entire problem, you are the wrong one. The thing is, the majority isn't always right. Lots of people thought slavery was a good thing, many still do... didn't ever make it right. The majority do tend to rule, but they are often wrong... and there's very little you can do about it when you are on your own.

Isolation is all I can do to try and calm the storm around me. I want to connect with someone real... but I no longer believe it is possible. I've tried and been hurt too many times. It's no longer worth it.

 

[whycantyouloveme]

My whole life almost every social interaction ive had ended in failire or disaster. joking around with friends or acquaintances and later on learning that they thought i was annoying or rude and not liking me. talking with someone and offending them with sonething i said when i never even realized that what i said would be offensive. i feel part of it could be due to being born autistic but i dont like to apply that label to me too much or try to use it as aome kind of scapegoat and excuse for my actions and behavior.

its gotten to the point where every single interaction i have with anyone, be it irl or online, feels like defusing a bomb. constantly walking on eggshells, overthinking every single word i say, carefully choosing the tone i say it in, worried that somehow, what i say could cause everything to blow up in my face and fall apart. conversations with people never feel enjoyable, just a burden. just waiting for it to be over so i can go back to being by myself, not wanting to be rude and tell the person that i dont want to talk. i feel like an outsider everywhere.

i have no irl friends, i dont even know how i would find them. i hate the idea of walking up to people and starting a conversation. if it were me, i would just want to finish whatever 8m doing and go about my day and i apply that feeling to everyone i see so i just assume that if i tried to conversate, i would just annoy them. and even when i do try to have conversations with people, it always just feels awkward and sloppy. stuttering, jumbling my words and thoughts, only half hearing people at times, giving weird responses. it just makes me want to get out of the conversation even more so i can seclude myself in my own mind and enjoy peace in solitude.

and it feels impossible to try and join already established groups because i always feel like a 3rd party among everyone. whenever i join a small discord server, i can barely join in on any conversation going on because its eother about stuff i dont know or cant really give input on, or because everyone there already has established friends and i just feel like a background character. just floating around.

so ill just isolate myself sometimes. not opening discord for days, putting in my earbuds and avoiding any and all conversations at work, just saying the bare minimum required to get things across. ill lay in bed on my phone or sit at my desk on my laptop. existing in my mind alone, rather than in reality. every single interaction is an opportunity for things to go wrong.

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December

I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock I am an island

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock I am an island

Don't talk of love
Well I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries
I am a rock - Simon and Garfunkel

Honestly, yes. I isolate myself quite often. I don't have many friends, and I avoid many social interactions. I'm often told I'm annoying, and more when I do make friends so I prefer to steer away from that. Friends and stuff that is. I also just genuinely like making myself feel like I have no body in my life, that way when I ctb, I don't feel as guilty, as bad. I'm unsure if that makes sense.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Yes, I isolate myself. Most of the time I don't like talking to people. People are annoying and tend to always start drama. I'd rather not deal with that.