Does anyone else have issues with their parent or parents?

[calebzz1]

Hello all, I wanted to start a conversation about how the relationship is with your parents and if there are any issues.

Currently, I'm an involuntary NEET and live with my mom who has Bipolar 1 in addition to psychotic features.

She is okay when taking medication but overall it's like dealing with an overgrown toddler due to her crying constantly and literally blaming everyone else for her own mistakes.

My mom is very religious and super emotional.

I'm still a Christian but don't go to church at the moment and only go out for practical reasons to either better my condition or the household in general.

We have opposite personalities, currently with my situation I am very pragmatic, practical and not emotional.

My mom wants to talk to literally everyone when we go out and got ate up at my last appointment with someone in the waiting room who was not chatty LOL!

I'm a lot more closed off in general which is a huge constrast to my old self when I used to be extra, would always laugh and goofy.

She has bad priorities and gets upset over the smallest of incoveniences such as not having enough to "drink" i.e. soda and sweet drinks (which she shouldn't even be drinking excess of) and no food a.k.a. sweet treats but fails to see the bigger picture of maintaining her health.

Every time I talk to her about my situation she responds with one word and that's it, literally.

This happens when she doesn't want to hear something in particular because with her church friends suddenly everything changes.

There's no depth or anything like that which is why I don't like conversating with her and would rather be on SaSu.

People switch up all the time which is why I would like to live alone, my situation is too raw and real anyways for someone to deal with.

What's really annoying is that her behavior is quite unpredicatable.

My mom decided to pull a "second stunt" as I call it in chat.

She was off her psychiatric medication for six days, abused multiple boxes of DXM and also took two Mello Yello THC edibles.

I have no patience to deal with people out of their mind and had to get my aunt and cousin involved despite them being low, now no contact with my mom as this was the second time her being out of her mind.

What made this situation scary is that there literally was no reason for her doing this.

She just saw her son who had to be adopted due to her earlier behavior and my older brother decided to set up a gathering to see her granddaughters since her behavior was improving.

We had our housing meeting which was extremely important to renew certification, thankfully I got into contact properly with our agent and everything was fine but it could have ended up being way worse.

The most heartbreaking part was that she didn't listen to what I had said at all.

I told her multiple times to be grateful for our situation and helped out a lot.

I made sure to get on SNAP, increased the amount she got on her check, solved the electric bill situation and more but she still did that.

What's hilarious is that my mom thinks her life is that bad when all she had to do is take her medication and relax.

Everything was looking up and there was no reason to worry, that's why the family wants to be no contact.

At first I thought they were being harsh but now I understand, personally I'm stuck because I can't work at all with my impairment and am waiting for benefits to get more independence since I'm great with money.

Without my drop it's like being half-blind and low vision now yet my mom constantly asks for help like I'm her caretaker.

I'm not doing all that after she betrayed me multiple times.

I decided to buy a white cane yesterday to help when I go out.

Anyways, I will shift gears and talk about my father's take on everything.

He cares enough to check up every now and then which is nice.

We had a conversation about not getting "comfortable" i.e. bumming, lazing around and not applying for jobs before I moved in May.

I agreed 100% and had multiple jobs but then this impairment hit like a truck which led to myself being humbled quickly.

At first he thought I was having mental health problems which is understandable because I worked full-time before and the sudden shift to NEET was jarring.

I would have stayed with my dad looking back but they had to downsize and there was no room.

Plus, I would have probably had to pay more rent but could not work.

My dad recently shared a text, I will omit the first part as it was personal and I did follow up on that.

The rest was very accusatory though despite him not being in the household and experiencing what I went through in the slightest.

I'll put the original text down for context minus some personal bits.

SaSu is my safe space and I don't mind putting this out there since I'm an open book anyways.

"...it seems your putting your life on hold for now, there are many people who have disabilities but still go out and do things in life, hang with friends etc., your friends probably miss u n dont understand why u cant do anything but anyway im praying for you, I guess when you want it bad enough you'll won't wait around a year or more of doing nothing or having a social life. Hope to see you soon n take u out"

For context, my dad wanted to go out for lunch one day on a Sunday if I remember correctly.

I was being honest and stated that I didn't want to because I've been barely functional with my impairment which is the truth.

I'm guess that's what prompted him to send this text, assuming a lot and thinking that I want to have this curse on purpose.

I'll break it down section by section to provide my take on the matter.

1. "it seems your putting your life on hold for now."

Yes, my life has to be put on hold because literally all of my providers have stated that I can't work which is already a lot to process as a young man who used to work full-time and did everything independently.

I have to give up all of my old hobbies if nothing changes since my vision is too poor to properly enjoy them which is why I'm working super hard to change the outcome.

2. "there are many people who have disabilities but still go out and do things in life, hang with friends etc."

I understand this point but I'm not going to hang out with my friends when I'm barely functional and my personality has changed drastically.

I need to fix my condition overall.

I'm very practical and only go out when I know it will improve my overall health or the household.

3. "your friends probably miss u n dont understand why u cant do anything but anyway im praying for you."

I told my friend group everything and sent the necessary documentation to prove what's going on.

They all know I'm visually impaired and I sent how it presents to my best friend, it's the same on the "Recovery" post I made.

He was in shock most likely and it took him days to respond, personally I don't want to get them involved as they wouldn't know what to do and it would place a huge burden on them.

There's an emotional side to it as well which is why I have delayed everything.

4. "but anyway im praying for you, I guess when you want it bad enough you'll won't wait around a year or more of doing nothing or having a social life."

This part was what I ruminated on for a while, extremely judgemental without even living in my current household.

All I want is to fix my visual impairment and there's proof that I tried.

I always advocate myself to providers that I want to go back to work and support the household more.

If this gets fixed then a lot of doors will open but I'm just waiting for disability benefits while being barely functional everyday.

I don't care about having a social life at this time, like I told my mother before I'm a lot more pragmatic and practical now.

That will come later as my condition improves.

5. "Hope to see you soon n take u out"

This part is completely fine.

I wanted to make this thread because I notice a pattern both in chat and on the forum of people having bad parents or a terrible childhood.

I'm totally cool with my dad but am very wary of my mom's behavior and take a "hands-off" approach like my aunt stated to in the past.

I hope you all have an excellent day.

 

[chudeatte]

yeah, im in a similar situation to you. my father was never around but I have issues with my mother. im a NEET too because I have no drive to do anything anymore, so im at home all the time with her. she's got mood issues, like one moment she'll yell at me all these horrible things, and then in an hour or so she'll act like she said nothing. its horrible to deal with. on top of that she abused me pretty much all my life, only the physical stopped when I grew old enough to fight back (LOL). now its just psychological. I have so many issues and insecurities because of her, she makes me feel ashamed of absolutely everything. sometimes I get so mad when I think too hard about the fact that im related to her and have her blood in me, it makes me want to rip my skin off. I just hate dealing with her

 

[Ilovemycats]

I hope that your condition will get better!! I can imagine that it can be quite infuriating after all.

As for my parents, I have a good relationship with my mom. We talk quite often and a lot, she can only be a bit overprotective at times. My dad is a bit.. different story, I wish that me and him would be closer since he is quite closed off and we don't exactly have topics to talk about. He also has quite a opinion on mental health and never tried to understand me in that aspect.

My mom always used to tell me that he loves me more then her or my brother but at this points i find it questionable, seeing as he became frustrated/dissapointed about my relationship with a girl (i'm a girl too) and me going to a therapist. :'D