Venting Does anyone else find therapy completely useless?

[Katatonia]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

 

[Theresnoescape]

I've never been to therapy and I can't say I want to either, for exactly the reasons you've just described.

I don't see how talking to someone who doesn't have these feelings will help, I feel that talking to like minded people on here is better therapy.

Good luck with it if you do decide to carry on with it though, some people do benefit from it it's just not for me personally.

 

[graveflower]

yeah i get what you mean. i dont think every therapist is mediocre like that or it just kinda depends on the therapist. i could be wrong but the "how does that make you feel...?" type of therapy is like the traditional old school approach- and also a sign of a pretty passive therapist who is just letting you do most of the heavy-lifting lol. that kind of line of questioning doesn't necessarily work on people who are self-aware about their thoughts and feelings. a good therapist shouldn't have you talk around in circles looping the same thoughts with no new insight or perspective- it should eventually (ideally) go somewhere. if youre earlier in the process with this therapist, i guess they could maybe be asking repetitive questions to gauge patterns? but by a few months, that should be over by now.

there are multiple types of therapy. some work better than others for different situations and people.

ultimately the choice is yours, but i assume that if you're in therapy, its safe to say you do want to seek some type of help. before you write that therapist off- or therapy entirely off, i'd ask them "what's the plan here?" and see if they actually have a concrete battle plan to help you with your struggles. if they don't provide an adequate answer, it might be time to move onto a new therapist/new style that does work for you. im sorry you're dealing with this, though- it sounds maddening.

 

[Asya]

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[Slark]

I've been in therapy for about two years, and I don't know if it works, but I like it. I've developed enough intimacy with my therapist to talk about suicidal thoughts without her thinking I'm crazy. It's good because I usually don't have anyone to talk to about these things. In today's world, everyone is living in their own bubble, and telling someone else about your problems seems like a crime.

 

[ilovenewyork]

My current therapist is punching a clock. Just finds ways to pass the 45 minutes. My previous therapist was very good. Asked hard direct questions and made what felt like progress.

 

[Katatonia]

yeah i get what you mean. i dont think every therapist is mediocre like that or it just kinda depends on the therapist. i could be wrong but the "how does that make you feel...?" type of therapy is like the traditional old school approach- and also a sign of a pretty passive therapist who is just letting you do most of the heavy-lifting lol. that kind of line of questioning doesn't necessarily work on people who are self-aware about their thoughts and feelings. a good therapist shouldn't have you talk around in circles looping the same thoughts with no new insight or perspective- it should eventually (ideally) go somewhere. if youre earlier in the process with this therapist, i guess they could maybe be asking repetitive questions to gauge patterns? but by a few months, that should be over by now.

there are multiple types of therapy. some work better than others for different situations and people.

ultimately the choice is yours, but i assume that if you're in therapy, its safe to say you do want to seek some type of help. before you write that therapist off- or therapy entirely off, i'd ask them "what's the plan here?" and see if they actually have a concrete battle plan to help you with your struggles. if they don't provide an adequate answer, it might be time to move onto a new therapist/new style that does work for you. im sorry you're dealing with this, though- it sounds maddening.

Im assuming its because shes a new therapist, free insurance doesnt give many options. I was mostly speaking to her about OCD and i realized she was reassuring me, which is the opposite thing you should do when it comes to OCD. Im thinking i need to see a more specialized therapist. Of course those kind of therapists arent free though, and usually more expensive. I guess im just in an unfortunate situation. Oh well, maybe therapy just isnt for me.

 

[graveflower]

do you have Medicaid? I was on it, and I managed to find a therapist I liked. I don't know how productive he was, though, because we were both pretty ADHD with very similar fixations so we spent a lot of time just discussing those interests, haha. but even that alone was beneficial, and he did genuinely teach me some coping skills to tackle the emotional regulation issues I have with my ADHD. I'm going out on a limb and assuming you're also from the US (apologies if I'm wrong), but you're really not as limited as you think. I just googled this so take this part with a grain of salt but I think OCD responds better to ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy. from what I've gathered, ERP therapy isn't necessarily more expensive- what matters is finding a provider who does ERP that accepts your insurance. the nuance there, unfortunately, is that ERP therapists are a little more difficult to find.

If treatment is what you want, it'd be unfortunate to see you give up on it because you deserve it- you deserve to feel better. i respect your choice either way if you truly feel that it is not for you, but I'd like for you to keep in the back of your mind that there very likely are some doors that can still be opened for you.

 

[Katatonia]

do you have Medicaid? I was on it, and I managed to find a therapist I liked. I don't know how productive he was, though, because we were both pretty ADHD with very similar fixations so we spent a lot of time just discussing those interests, haha. but even that alone was beneficial, and he did genuinely teach me some coping skills to tackle the emotional regulation issues I have with my ADHD. I'm going out on a limb and assuming you're also from the US (apologies if I'm wrong), but you're really not as limited as you think. I just googled this so take this part with a grain of salt but I think OCD responds better to ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy. from what I've gathered, ERP therapy isn't necessarily more expensive- what matters is finding a provider who does ERP that accepts your insurance. the nuance there, unfortunately, is that ERP therapists are a little more difficult to find.

If treatment is what you want, it'd be unfortunate to see you give up on it because you deserve it- you deserve to feel better. i respect your choice either way if you truly feel that it is not for you, but I'd like for you to keep in the back of your mind that there very likely are some doors that can still be opened for you.

I googled a little bit and im having trouble finding nearby therapists who accept both my healthcare and do ERP. Im thinking i could perhaps reach out to my doctor and see if they would be able to find anything (i could also just be looking in the wrong place, im not too bright). I live further out in the countryside so its a little more trouble finding therapists. I do think i will look into this more though as i think i need a therapist who understands OCD and i find it hard to open up to anyone about it who doesnt. No offense to my current therapist, shes nice, but its clear she doesnt get it. I appreciate the help a lot, thank you.

 

[graveflower]

I googled a little bit and im having trouble finding nearby therapists who accept both my healthcare and do ERP. Im thinking i could perhaps reach out to my doctor and see if they would be able to find anything (i could also just be looking in the wrong place, im not too bright). I live further out in the countryside so its a little more trouble finding therapists. I do think i will look into this more though as i think i need a therapist who understands OCD and i find it hard to open up to anyone about it who doesnt. No offense to my current therapist, shes nice, but its clear she doesnt get it. I appreciate the help a lot, thank you.

hey- im rural too, so i get the struggle. i think thats where options like telehealth might be more feasible. or searching keywords like "ocd specialist" and similar. you're definitely brighter than you think if you're able to identify the mismatch in your treatment btw- its just that they don't always make it super easy to search for this kind of thing. absolutely do reach out to your doctor. their job is to advocate for you, especially in things like this. i wish you the best of luck. :)

 

[flowerbomb]

I am sorry to hear that your therapist reacted like this, Katatonia.

 

[PanaxMan]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

Pretty much a near clone of me which ended me going to the psych ward. Luckily I'm a decent liar and was able to go free without much. It fucking sucks alot

 

[Forever Sleep]

I only went to a few meetings with a college therapist but, I found it intrusive- which I suppose it has to be. While she probably didn't intend it, I also found the experience somewhat judgemental- although, maybe that was my paranoia.

I think maybe it might be useful to consider what you want out of them. Do you want to be given new perspectives or, ways of dealing with your problems? Do you want to talk in depth about things to try and figure out how these problems/ feelings started?

Maybe you could try to guide the session towards something you might find more useful. I think it's reasonable to say- 'I'd like to talk to you about this today...' to try to guide them away from the same old loops.

Ultimately- why are you seeing them? What is it you want them to help you with?

 

[thehorizons]

No, it is useless. Things that make you feel good is better in my experience. It's hard for me because I just found out I had oral cancer recently while suffering from a neurological disorder that would make it difficult for me to get surgery for my oral cancer (if it becomes advanced), but I felt good yesterday from catching up with some friends I haven't talked to in decades. That feeling can't be created by a therapist. Before my illnesses, I had good feelings when I was down too like getting recognition for my art. Do things that can evoke those feelings (e.g. pick up a new hobby that you might have a talent for but you never knew you had a talent for it). Don't chase them. You can't find them, but there will be some random days when you'll catch them by luck.

 

[IrishBug]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

No therapist should stop you while you are talking about suicidal thoughts! Sounds like your therapist is worse than mediocre.

I have been through a lot of therapy and 99.99% of it is useless. I must say that some techniques I have learnt in therapy have been helpful however it took a lot of sorting through the junk before I found one or two snippets that happened to work for me.

 

[herms_sn]

I've been to therapy a few times, and it didn't help much.
But acknowledging that there is a need for help and taking any steps to find it helped.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

Tried therapy for a while, never helped with my problems or thoughts. Maybe it could be said it's my fault for ruminating rather than implementing their advice, but I did try in some measure, it just never worked. In some regards, taking on the "patient" role may have only led to negative effects on me. Thomas Szaz says that taking on such a role may only lead the "patient" to alter their perceptions in order to get some sort of "help" that never manifests. I'm skeptical of his argument that all mental illness is a lie and I was never "forced" into therapy, rather it was my choice, but role theory may have an impact. But I don't think therapy can help with these problems that constantly sit on your mind, where you have to lie to the therapist as if you're not constantly experiencing them so they won't section you into the psych ward.

 

[Hg5fd]

I don't think therapy is pointless, but it's ineffective. When you're feeling suicidal, it's difficult for even an experienced professional to work with words. I'm in that situation now. Most psychiatrists recommend medication in a psychiatric hospital. One doctor said that medications should first overcome the "barrier" before words can be used to reach me.
I believe that in severe cases, treatment should be sought from a psychiatrist.

P.S. English is not my native language. Please excuse any errors.

 

[ctwc]

Therapy has never been useful for me - if not made things worse.

I imagine it only working if there's a problem you actively want to solve but can't bring yourself to the first step of solving it - which is finding any sort of solution.

If you're already attempted to solve it (for potentially a long time) but it doesn't bring any results, therapy doesn't work because it doesn't solve the problems for you. If anything it makes things worse for forcing you to rub salt on it.

 

[NebulaDrift]

I was in therapy for 5 years with different therapists and they all used the same methods and told me the same stuff like they all studied the same book. The only thing that helped was having someone that I can talk to

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

I do therapy but just because it's free via government social programs. I'd never pay for it.

I just don't get too much expectation, therapists are humans too and they're trying to survive like any other human. They're not magicians that will solve your life in a few sessions. This is important to have in mind, lower your expectations, therapists definitely won't solve most of things.

I see therapy as an opportunity to openly talk about things that make me feel bad and wanting to die, I do that because there's the therapist confidentiality, which means, they can't expose you to anyone it's against the law in many countries (I suppose). So I take advantage of this to say many things.

Sometimes, just the fact that you're talking and bring some thoughts to outside might help you a little.

I think the most important part here is that the therapist won't ever judge you no matter what you say. I see in my therapist face she disagree with a few things I say but she just bring other subject instead of saying I'm wrong. This is extremely important, if you feel your therapist is judging you, stop doing it, it'll make you feel worse.

 

[SpencerSees]

I have been in therapy for years but I don't see any improvement. At this point I only keep going to appointments because my therapist is pretty nice and no one else in my life really is. I guess it's good if you want to talk your brains out but it's not like she can fix me yknow.

 

[Aflame5926]

they tried to convince but im pretty strong with my opinion.

being a health care worker, doctor or anything doesnt mean shit.
it means you can follow a protocol.

the good ones that are gold are really hard to find. it not impossible but they exist.
also keep always carefull what you say or you pay the price of trip to psyk ward.

to add a joke which i recently heard somewhere on internet:
you dont say therapist. you say the rapist

badum tss

 

[sweetdecadance77]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

honestly what you described is my experience as well and ive been in therapy for about 4 to 5 years. i had ONE therapist for a couple of months that was helpful but i ended up moving and the clinic she worked in doesnt extend to my area. thats really it for my positive therapist experiences. most sessions are redundant and spread passive advice that only work for people with VERY MILD depression and anxiety. if you have a disorder that isnt covered by the previous statement, youre outta luck.

I have been in therapy for years but I don't see any improvement. At this point I only keep going to appointments because my therapist is pretty nice and no one else in my life really is. I guess it's good if you want to talk your brains out but it's not like she can fix me yknow.

i had this experience as well. nobody to talk to so you just stay with a useless therapist since theyre forced to listen and react well enough. its almost lonely. its like most of us would really benefit from having a good friend rather than a therapist

 

[TAW122]

Yes, therapy is NOT the answer nor the solution for me, and I've written many threads and went at length explaining it so I will just keep it concise here. My problems don't have a solution and therapy is either going to lead to no solution, at best, and at worst, saying the wrong thing (as you stated in your situation), can lead to unwanted intervention, making the situation worse. It is about 'accepting' the circumstance and/or 'coping' which the former I won't do, and the latter I already do on my own, and therefore will not pay for someone to tell me what I already know or do. As for society and people (IRL) suggesting 'therapy' and such, I take offense to it because it insinuates something is wrong with my head instead of a natural reaction to the world around me, but that's another story altogether.

As for mentioning of 'suicidal thoughts' yes, many mandated reporters (a therapist is in fact in the same class as mandated reporters) are required both by law and also by their professional board to report, or intervene if they have knowledge or know that someone may plan, attempt to, or act on the action of suicide, which is unfortunate, but not uncommon.

Ultimately, I agree with you, therapy is useless (for me, and for many people whose problems cannot be solved by paying someone to listen to one venting and talking about their problems), and of course most people, society itself does NOT (and refuse to acknowledge or) understand this fact, but I digress. I hope you find peace in whatever you choose to do.

 

[Mooncry]

I'm too self aware for therapy. Nor do I care to spill my beans to a complete stranger for money, only for them to decide at any point that I belong in a ward.

 

[tiltedcompass]

My previous experience with psychologists have been weird, from going into very personal details to not caring at all. While all my psychiatrists kinda sucked, only getting me to take as many meds as possible without sending me to a hospital.

I started with my new treatment last year.
While I admit it has slightly helped me, my psychiatrist only gives me a ton of meds and scolds me every so often. "What happened? But you were doing so well!" was what she said yesterday after she found out I was hospitalized.
My psychologist is sweet, but I feel as if I let my guard down and got too honest with her. Ever since I mentioned my attempt (she was the one who sent me to the ward afterwards), she calls me and my family every single day just to know how I'm doing. I should be grateful that she cares, or maybe she only cares about not losing her job in case I kill myself. Who knows. At least she's far nicer than the psychologist.

Sometimes I think that I'm too tired for this shit and imagine a situation where I either tell them I want to stop the treatment, or just go ahead and ctb. Therapy has helped me, but not really at the same time. It's weird.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I've seen all kinds for extended periods over decades: it's worse than useless. Not only will it almost certainly never help but you're usually giving bad people who gamed the system a free life for getting off on feeling superior to you. I wish it worked but it doesn't and more often than not makes things worse.

 

[moon2bright]

Ive been going to therapy for a couple months now and honestly i feel its completely useless. It just feels like the same "so you have these thoughts? How often? What are they?" And i explain it, and there seems to be no conclusion. I really dont understand the point of her asking me anything if it just leads to nothing. Its starting to feel like a chore where i just lie and say "oh yes these thoughts have gotten better" because im not very fond of repeating myself for the 7th time.

And today, i ended up slipping and telling her i had suicidal thoughts. And she had to stop me midway and bring up this intervention thing. Seriously, whats the point? I honestly feel much worse now and i certainly dont want to go back. If anything i feel more suicidal. I cant even speak about how i feel.

Is my therapist just mediocre or this how it is for everyone? Feels a bit scammy...

Sounds like you think you're too smart for therapy. If you don't think it'll work, it won't. That said, you may need to look for a therapist who's a better fit for you. That ineffable personality mesh is really important, and it be frustrating to "shop around" until you find it.

But it sounds like everybody in this thread is too smart for therapy, huh?

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

I've had very good therapists, and I've had the other 80% of them.

The good therapists I've had asked me very hard questions and let me talk and tried to dig as deep as they could into me and asked me questions that I'd never heard before that could take me days of thinking to answer.

Unfortunately, I've only had two of them, and both before I turned 18 (they stopped my therapy midway with the second one when I was close to turning 18).

Seems like there are genuinely good psychologists out there who try to help their patients, but you quite literqlly have to be lucky (unless you have the money to go private).

Whatever you end up doing, I wish you luck through it all.

much luv~✿