does anyone else feel dead already?

[ReincarnatedGibbon]

i sometimes get a feeling like there is a veil in front of everything that happens to me, or like i'm a bit disconnected from it all.
in a way it feels like i'm already dead? the more suicidal i am, the more it happens.
i guess maybe it's like i've decided i'm going to die, and therefore it just feels surreal to be alive still?
does anyone relate?

 

[darksouls]

in 2023 an internal infection caused sepsis
it felt as if I were burning inside
as I lay in the intensiv care unit I realized I was dying
I had finished with my life
the reaper greeted me like an old friend
but he did not want to take me with him
that which rose from the fire is neither alive nor dead

 

[GuyWhoDiesin2025]

i absolutely do. my diabetes sucks and i keep running into horrible people and i hate the place that i live at.

 

[AnEpilogue]

Literally. I'm not alive, I'm just piloting some other poor fool's body until I decide put this body into the same state as my soul.

 

[suicidal jirai]

i sometimes get a feeling like there is a veil in front of everything that happens to me, or like i'm a bit disconnected from it all.
in a way it feels like i'm already dead? the more suicidal i am, the more it happens.
i guess maybe it's like i've decided i'm going to die, and therefore it just feels surreal to be alive still?
does anyone relate?

With my suicidal thoughts getting worse, going into psychosis more, I've really started to think that I'm dead, without how I feel, that maybe, in one of my first attempts, I really did die and my brain couldn't process it, I believe in parallel universes, so I definitely think, it's only in this world I survived...but even then I can't help but doubt it...

 

[wham311]

You can be done with life but that doesn't mean it's done with you

 

[timechained]

I sometimes dissociate from life as well.

 

[tryme]

I am already dead according to last specialist that said I won't live long. And I will have grand mal seizures and psychosis from Xanax withdrawals in a couple of days.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Yes. I'm dead inside. But trapped in a machine that someone forgot to turn off. Still running furiously, but for no purpose, and forgotten.

 

[polm]

Yes I am just a husk of a human being. Dignity going. Pain 24/7. Trapped in a failing body. Not dead and not alive.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

absolutely. Anhedonia has peaked. I just a flesh being going through the motions.

 

[aiyuxhan]

Yes I am just a husk of a human being. Dignity going. Pain 24/7. Trapped in a failing body. Not dead and not alive.

I feel this I hate chronic illnesses a d chronic pain.

I feel like a walking corpse rotting faster than the normal able bodied people around me.

 

[thankyouforthis]

Sometimes. I prefer those times. Sometimes I still feel painfully alive, though. Either from the physical chronic pain in my neck or when I'm deeply emotionally upset by something new (as opposed to all of the things there are to always be upset about). But there are spaces in between when it's like people have said above-- dissociative, piloting, inhabiting a thing that's not really you and watching stuff happen around it.

 

[ashendreams]

totally relate. i feel like im dreaming all the time. i wonder if im not dead already and this is what hell looks like

 

[effervescent]

I've long overstayed my welcome.

 

[S like Siren]

more than dead I feel dead in hell.
A nightmare never ending.
Death looks so peaceful to me.

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya trauma made my soul dissconnect and die