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Nobody's Daughter

Nobody's Daughter

Scratching at the surface
May 24, 2020
24
Majority of my days are spent intoxicated but not all day long.
Sometimes I enjoy and devour my fully lucid moments of crystal clear mental clarity.

I think I need them too so that I can feel and endure the pain and anguish I feel inside. They serve as a reminder to why the drugs are needed in the first place.
 
Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Specialist
Mar 10, 2020
366
I'm a full blown heroin addict except I've never injected it, I only choose to smoke it's extremely relaxing for me. I wish there wasn't pesky withdrawals to deal with but I found methadone for that. Honestly my heroin addiction calmed me down a lot, I was extremely wreckless before and out of control. I'm self medicating my mental illness but the physical side effects are shit. Plus it's not healthy either and I wish I wasn't tied down to it physically. Heroin withdrawals is the worst hell I've ever been through, I lost 7 years of proper sleep because of it and did the most degrading things just to get more to feel better and get some sleep. All I can say is thank goodness for methadone or I'd be fucked by now.

Before my addiction I used to do coke binges, weed, alcohol and ecstasy and crack, but I've since quit it all. I've been using drugs for 17 years. I also smoke cigarettes everyday.
 
ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
858
I also use heroin to cope, but not as smart as @Cashewmilk as I inject it. I also am prescribed benzos so I take those too. And I used to smoke cannabis- still do, but I opt for edibles more now as they give me a body high with out all the deep introspective thoughts that cause anxiety. However Heroin has one little issue… extreme physical dependence & seriously unpleasant (horrible awful ick) withdrawals. However I am also on a very low dose of methadone, and I take that (8-10mg) to prevent w/d, and if I'm not using H for a day or several, I just take like 20-30mg of methadone to prevent withdrawal/ stay in homeostasis. However I'm actually trying to cut back on the H, although it's very hard. I've gotten like 10 hugs total in 2023… that's really bad.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

I have finally found my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,796
No, I wish I could but I can't as I live with family
 
Katdogg

Katdogg

Member
Jan 31, 2024
69
I have been " clean" for three months. Weed and Kratom. I miss the delusional hopeful feelings that they gave me sometimes... even though they were pipe dreams.

Currently trying to be "strong "... and deal with my reality. I could see myself being high forever, but my brain tells me its wrong and escapist. I hate my brain.
 

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