Discussion do you want to be conscious?

[breachswapper]

for me, being in this world kinda just feels like trying out a game or show, and realizing it wasn't for me. but you can't just opt out of life and find another universe or something.

i often hear something along the lines of "it's not that suicidal people want to die, they just want the pain to end" and i really can't tell if that applies to me. and it's made me wonder to myself, how many people simply just... don't want to be alive? like at all? like even if it was a completely different world with different scientific laws n stuff. or just a happier version of your life. anything really (i can't think of many things at the moment i'm just trying to emphasize like LITERALLY any other reality). how many of you guys wouldn't want to be alive in a single one of these universes?

 

[_Gollum_]

I wouldn't want to be alive regardless of circumstances or quality of life. I despise the experience of being conscious. I feel uncomfortable to be living and breathing.

 

[hurts2b]

how many people simply just... don't want to be alive? like at all?

It's definitely not an uncommon desire on here. I've noticed that people here tend to fall into categories 1 or 2.

In category 1 there are people like myself who have concrete problems. The "shit life syndrome" crew. These are people dealing with things like rejection, domestic abuse, poverty. Stuff like that. Situations that ruin otherwise okay lives.

People who fall into catagory 2 have no overt nameable problems. It's more abstract. They take issue with existence itself. Often these feelings began in childhood and (most importantly) don't respond to treatment.

These categories are somewhat fluid and people can lay outside or in-between them. But on here you'll find many, many people in both kinds of situations.

 

[glowing.purple.aura]

Not at all, which is why reincarnation is one of my biggest fears. I don't want to live for even a second longer, happy or not, my life or not.

 

[iwkmsssb]

if there was a world without pain and only pure happiness then i'd gladly live

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't no matter what, nothing would ever make me want to exist under any circumstances, all I want is to be permanently unconscious free from all pain and suffering, for me existence will just always be the most terrible, cruel mistake that just causes all this pain and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and to exist truly does mean to suffer.

I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all, to be conscious in this existence is the most torturous, futile burden to me and I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way, all I want is peace from this torturous, painful existence, for me the true problem is existence itself and all I want is to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, this existence really never should had been imposed and it's just so terrible and dreadful how it was.

 

[Kokonoe]

no, i never want to be conscious. there is no life that i would want to live. i just simply don't enjoy the act of living.

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

I would actually want to be alive if I could control my destiny, not be subject to a shitty governance.

 

[Bishop]

Conscious? Sure

 

[Forever Sleep]

If I had the choice, I wouldn't want to be alive at all. Even if I had better odds in a new life, there are so many bad things that can still happen. That's simply the nature/ risk of being sentient in a mortal body and needing to work at surviving.

On the one hand- I agree with the statement that suicidal people see death as a way to stop pain. On the other- I'd argue that you can't live without at least the risk of pain at some point. And- even if you get over what befalls you currently, it doesn't mean you'll never suffer again.

I think people also suicide to escape from the high risk nature of life. I hope to die before old age hits in and the chances of me suffering more increases. So- I'd say we may also suicide to avoid future pain. We may effectively suicide to escape the risky nature of life itself- which has painful traps all over the place.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I would never want to live

why do I have to live even another minute?

there is no objective or logical reason

every day a human or other animal risks falling into a trap of unending constant unbearable pain

humans never talk about the very many horrible things that can happen

the horrible things and the worst pain outweigh the pleasure addictions garbage by a million times

a simple constant noise like a seat belt car alarm or other alarm can soon become extreme torture if you can't stop the noise. Just this shows the brain and body are an extreme torture chamber . if a human is locked in a room with only that unending alarm noise how many minutes or hours before that becomes extreme torture?

what about putting hand on a burning hot stove but you can't remove ur hand ? what about the whole bare skin of the body against scalding hot metal? what's worth 10 seconds of that pain? 60 seconds? 5 minutes 10 hours 6 days months years?


and I never heard any say pain is a billion times worse than one can imagine or remember

furthermore you have to constantly work a job chores trying to feed constant endless needs to keep away pain just to exist under threat of extreme torture.

then old age disease or disability usually cause constant pain or suffering

add to all that being a slave just to suffer and risk an unimaginable hell

all those fleeting meaningless pleasure addictions don't matter and are meaningless

nothing matters except avoiding unbearable pain

im just touching on this

Not at all, which is why reincarnation is one of my biggest fears. I don't want to live for even a second longer, happy or not, my life or not.

there is no reincarnation after Death is only Eternal Non-existence

Non-existence forever is the only perfection the only guarantee of never suffering pain and a hell so bad it's a billion times worse than the worst u can imagine

 

[cyan_cat]

If i had a choice, i would just dissapear from existence. Everytime i think it's getting better, i just start feeling shitty again for no reason.
Consciousness is the problem. I think i don't want to live at all.

 

[Oiled Sandwich]

I wish I could have at least been born an Alpaca on a Alpaca farm:

• Lifespan of less than 30 years.

• Herd animal, so always around other Alpacas. Don't gotta worry about developing depression.

• Wouldn't have an overly complex brain that questions the meaning of life, or pays taxes.

• Free food, and open fields to run on.

• No prolong suffering. When it's time to pass, keepers wouldn't hesitate to pull the plug.

Just eating and growing wool while being able to be a lazy son of a bitch. Package deal for me.

 

[ehiontajar]

for me, being in this world kinda just feels like trying out a game or show, and realizing it wasn't for me. but you can't just opt out of life and find another universe or something.

i often hear something along the lines of "it's not that suicidal people want to die, they just want the pain to end" and i really can't tell if that applies to me. and it's made me wonder to myself, how many people simply just... don't want to be alive? like at all? like even if it was a completely different world with different scientific laws n stuff. or just a happier version of your life. anything really (i can't think of many things at the moment i'm just trying to emphasize like LITERALLY any other reality). how many of you guys wouldn't want to be alive in a single one of these universes?

I think being alive and conscious really is the problem (at least for me)
Idk, I feel really jealous of the things that are "just existing" without any worries or thoughts

 

[CarbonBased]

Yeah, I can totally see where you're coming from. I always thought that life for me was like a movie that you started to watch late in the evening and midway through realized that you weren't enjoying it. You would like to turn it off and go to bed, but doing so happens to be unreasonably difficult. You know that the movie will end sooner or later anyway, but simply waiting it out feels incredibly exhausting. You don't even want to watch something else instead - you just want to go to sleep. I'm probably not the first one to think of this term, but I call this experience "existential fatigue".

 

[pochii]

I am pretty terrified of death and I would always always have the thought "I wish I was never conscious, but now that i am, i don't want it to be taken away"

I am not religious but i would always think why am i given this just for it to all be taken away and forgotten over time.

I think i would want a life where you could choose if you wanted to simply start over or it be over. Or go to a utopia but with the choice to come back. But idk ig we can't have a utopia bc without sadness is there happiness? or do they depend on each other?

But what i think i would ultimately want is to know what i do/did mattered and that it would carry on. That I am not just a spec of dust in the universe and all of this will just eventually erode back to nothing or be forgotten. It's truly terrifying for me personally and i wish i could just understand more or had never been able to understand at all.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I live in a chronic state of depersonalisation. I would definitely find way more comfort in an absence of consciousness than being alive.

 

[ZwartHartje]

I do want to be conscious, and I hope that I will be after death, just finally free and hopefully reunited with my loved ones.
I've always felt trapped inside this human body, but yes I'd be willing to do this life too for another while if my loved ones hadn't been murdered and I could still be with them. I'd still want to end it though before my body started declining from age. But I'd also NOT want to be immortal in this body, as I strongly dislike the human form and condition. It would have been ok as a sort of challenge to experience for a while, for the sake of learning or self-development and such. But not with the catastrophic turn it has taken and this extreme immensity of pain and heartbreak.

 

[ZeroRedz02]

for me, being in this world kinda just feels like trying out a game or show, and realizing it wasn't for me. but you can't just opt out of life and find another universe or something.

i often hear something along the lines of "it's not that suicidal people want to die, they just want the pain to end" and i really can't tell if that applies to me. and it's made me wonder to myself, how many people simply just... don't want to be alive? like at all? like even if it was a completely different world with different scientific laws n stuff. or just a happier version of your life. anything really (i can't think of many things at the moment i'm just trying to emphasize like LITERALLY any other reality). how many of you guys wouldn't want to be alive in a single one of these universes?

No i don't want to be conscious anymore, i did seen too much for being even able to process all this things to my own brain. If i could choice to being killed by someone that is reliable on it i would choice it with even thinking about it too much, so i will be able to leave in a way less painful possible.. And so everything was like it didn't even existed anymore.

 

[charlieee]

for me, being in this world kinda just feels like trying out a game or show, and realizing it wasn't for me. but you can't just opt out of life and find another universe or something.

i often hear something along the lines of "it's not that suicidal people want to die, they just want the pain to end" and i really can't tell if that applies to me. and it's made me wonder to myself, how many people simply just... don't want to be alive? like at all? like even if it was a completely different world with different scientific laws n stuff. or just a happier version of your life. anything really (i can't think of many things at the moment i'm just trying to emphasize like LITERALLY any other reality). how many of you guys wouldn't want to be alive in a single one of these universes?

Never.
First because being conscious could increase the chances of my survival instincts to kick in and keep me from ctb.
Second because of the possible pain. I don't want to feel any pain or discomfort, at least not for too long.