Discussion Do you want to accomplish something before CTB?

[DeadlyLiving]

Do you still have any goals left before you are CTB? Do you want to travel somewhere or see something, kinda like a bucket list?

I do not have a lot of important things that I still want to do but a few things like finishing books I started and re-read some that had a big impact on me. Also I want to do something really nice for my grandma so she doesn't hurt too bad when I am gone. I'd always wanted to travel to the US but I am not having enough time left to go there, sadly. (Though I finally got to try Poptarts and Jolly Ranchers and they're delicious)

 

[JustAboutDone]

I thought reading this was lovely, I felt really calmed. It wasn't frantic or panicky just nice x So thoughtful of you to want to do something nice for your grandma, that's a nice thing to do.

Agree with you about pop tarts - they are lush :-)

 

[21Neberg]

I'd like to eat something nice. Doesn't have to be complicated - if it's just a meatball on a piece of bread I'll be happy. The hanging megathread didn't mention anything about fasting prior to the attempt like other methods, so I think I'll be good.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Johnnythefox what would be your last supper choice?

 

[Johnnythefox]

Scotch pie, mash potatoes, beans and gravy and broon sauce.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Scotch pie, mash potatoes, beans and gravy and broon sauce.

"Broon sauce" ace :-)

 

[Final Escape]

There is something, but I just don't know exactly what? This is the conflict that's making it hard to go. Something is definitely stopping me but it's more than just survival instinct. I suspect it has something do to with feeling like I'm suppose to be doing something I'm not doing lol!

 

[Johnnythefox]

There is something, but I just don't know exactly what? This is the conflict that's making it hard to go. Something is definitely stopping me but it's more than just survival instinct. I suspect it has something do to with feeling like I'm suppose to be doing something I'm not doing lol!

That makes sense..

 

[Koal]

I'll clean my room as thoroughly as possible, and destroy my hard drives along with some other items. As far as big accomplishments go, there is nothing I can do within the timespan between now and when I'll hopefully ctb.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Also I want to do something really nice for my grandma

I'm going to do something nice for my mother. It's tough though... Right now, with a cup of tea and a cigarette, I would imagine myself eating something I love, maybe listening to that song the last time, reading my favourite passage in a book. But when the time comes, I'm sure my heart will be in my throat, no matter for how long I rehearsed the method, no matter how much I internalised my desire of dying... I guess that doing things I love before attempting, will make me cry and somehow fail. I'm a bit pessimistic. Sorry. I could still enjoy something nice tonight: probably some cheese, if I get to manage appetite loss. :)

As for if I have a to-do list: yes. Everything is related to preparing myself to die. I can see I've started to procrastinate a bit...

It's great, though, that you are considerate and want to treat your grandma. :)

Enjoy the reading. X

 

[Xerxes]

Make my wife feel happy without me being around.

 

[DeadlyLiving]

I thought reading this was lovely, I felt really calmed. It wasn't frantic or panicky just nice x So thoughtful of you to want to do something nice for your grandma, that's a nice thing to do.

Thank you x
I just feel so sorry for my grandma. She was always there for me when my mother wasn't because she rather took drugs and left me and my brother alone. Seeing her crying last Christmas because of my mother broke my heart. I need her to know that she couldn't have saved me in anyway and how much I loved her. <3

 

[DeadlyLiving]

But when the time comes, I'm sure my heart will be in my throat, no matter for how long I rehearsed the method, no matter how much I internalised my desire of dying... I guess that doing things I love before attempting, will make me cry and somehow fail.

I know what you mean. The world can be a really dark place and still there is light in some things we love. I think the hardest part for me will be saying goodbye to my cat and my dog. That's why I have to wait for my mother to take the dog since I would definitly bail and call an ambulance if I'd take SN and laying in bed with my dog.

I hope you still could enjoy the cheese :) x

 

[Hopeless_soul]

I think the hardest part for me will be saying goodbye to my cat and my dog

Yeah. It's really hard to leave the ones we love...

I hope you still could enjoy the cheese :) x

Cheers! :D

 

[TAW122]

Nothing super major, but I suppose I'd like to eat some of my gourmet foods and maybe if possible, be able to experience sexual intercourse (which will most likely come from getting a prostitute or something since I don't have a gf and cbf to be able to get a date or something). Though if those two things never happen in my lifetime, then so be it, I just want out of this shitty world.