do you think you might be able to recover

[-nobodyknows-]

Only if I had someone who would stand by me.

 

[Preh1storic_Rib]

An older friend on a mental health forum I used to hang out in had a rule. To be there you had to be at least recovery neutral if not positive. Made me realize I was that, Neutral.
Its been years but I don't know how to be more than that. At least in regards to myself. I think I could be, but I don't know how for all I've tried.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

no and i don't think its worth it - nothing ever is.

 

[brokeandbroken]

what the title says. i doubt it's going to be many people who say yes, but do you think anything could ever make you stop looking to ctb? what is it? me personally, no.

I mean I'm not actively looking more casually paying attention though I generally know how I will. It's up to other people. Is my life worth saving? Am I worth seeking justice for the crimes committed against me? Am I worth it? Right now it seems like probably not. I've said this before a while back. I honestly don't know how I am alive. When I worked in the oncology clinic there was a patient that was severely cachexic and the doctor flat out said I don't know how he is still here. I have felt that about myself a lot for a while honestly. At some point unless things I won't be.

 

[maneose]

probably, hopefully. if I have to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms to stay alive then that's better than being dead imo. it's either suicide or dying some other way that will be my end, but having the option to just leave makes me feel safe enough to continue living.

 

[noname37]

not really. i'm kinda just at the point where i'm just waiting for CTB to happen

 

[scubadam]

im stuck in this weird gray area where i do see some hope in life, but there's always that thought of "everything's better if i had just died" plaguing me regularly.

man what the hell, the grey area thing is so relatable.

i'm doing relatively good, enjoying the stuff i do, but at the back of my mind there is this constant thought that i don't deserve anything. my head is occupied with thoughts of relapsing into SH after nearly a year and how bad i miss that. i had an accident a week ago which absolutely shattered me, i just know that i will be once again spiraling into the shithole i already escaped.

but to answer the question, i do think i might recover, but i will never be the same person i was before all that stuff which brung me down happened

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

It's not impossible. Recovery for me would be to be doing better in my creative career and probably to have a more balanced life with people in it. Both of those things require a lot of risk. A lot of potential for rejection and disappointment. They both require confronting the things that scare me the most. I've tried in the past to do those things and they have ended up making me feel even more unhappy! So really, the question becomes- are you willing to put yourself through a whole bunch of frightening and uncomfortable scenarios with the slim hope that you might succeed? (Unlikely with all the competition.) Are you willing to risk failure, harsh criticism, a whole bunch of things you've been trying to avoid on the off chance it might make you feel better? Even though- it hasn't worked in the past? Probably not! The truth is- I don't feel like I have the determination, motivation, belief or resilience for recovery now. It feels like something you need to really want to have a chance at succeeding at.

Absurdly relatable for me. That's exactly it, I could recover, but I prefer to not "risk" it