Do you think there's any hope for me?

[Mint Floss]

Made a post like this before (sorry)

Basically I've never had any real interaction with general society. I've never solved a single problem I've had or gotten through anything. Can't drive. 20, so too old for college. Completely mentally incapable of everything. Zero control over my life. Zero skills or talents. Likely irrevocably mentally broken, though I've never really seen treatment so I have no way of knowing for sure (don't have any kind of access before you suggest). No one likes me, everyone is waiting to just die already.

Is there any hope for me getting better? I don't think there is...

 

[violetforever]

Basically I've never had any real interaction with general society.

how is that possible? this sounds like abusive parenting and sheltering.

Can't drive. 20, so too old for college.

i'm 24 and just only got my permit last year and still practicing for my license. i'm finishing up college. people start or go back to college all the time at any age too.

so yes i do think there could be hope for you. i don't blame you at all or anyone else on here for feeling hopeless though. i believe you when you say you feel mentally broken because of what you've wrote.

 

[Mint Floss]

how is that possible? this sounds like abusive parenting and sheltering.

i'm 24 and just only got my permit last year and still practicing for my license. i'm finishing up college. people start or go back to college all the time at any age too.

so yes i do think there could be hope for you. i don't blame you at all or anyone else on here for feeling hopeless though. i believe you when you say you feel mentally broken because of what you've wrote.

I mean, the college thing is more so that I've never really had any normal experiences with people my age, I was really banking on it for college but I'm too dumb to graduate high school and now I'll be too old and won't fit in with anyone and no one will talk to me.

I don't even know where to begin fixing my life it all feels impossible

 

[LastNite]

Made a post like this before (sorry)

Basically I've never had any real interaction with general society. I've never solved a single problem I've had or gotten through anything. Can't drive. 20, so too old for college. Completely mentally incapable of everything. Zero control over my life. Zero skills or talents. Likely irrevocably mentally broken, though I've never really seen treatment so I have no way of knowing for sure (don't have any kind of access before you suggest). No one likes me, everyone is waiting to just die already.

Is there any hope for me getting better? I don't think there is...

Im in the same place idk about ur exact situation but for everyone there is hope. It's just not earned that easily. You'll go through times that will make you feel like shit to get to where you'd feel comfortable in life. Thats just how it is sadly.

For education get GED if youre unable to get a diploma. I myself plan on getting one as well. I dropped out at 16 when I was in 11th grade after I tried to kms and ended up feeling so bad that I couldnt go there anymore. I plan to get a job soon when I get my license. It isnt really hard to drive. You just need to know how to steer and how gas to give as you drive same with braking.

I want to get into HVAC. I got no experience but I looked up how to get into that line of work. It pays fine at first but will pay better the more you work. Idc much about the pay as long as it pays enough to live nice. Theres a certificate you that you get for it which takes like a year but Im willing to go thru with it. Seems fun.

People who work in those jobs like construction and all of the hands on work dont need much education if thats what worries you. You can definitely make it. I wish you the best.

 

[katara]

I mean, the college thing is more so that I've never really had any normal experiences with people my age, I was really banking on it for college but I'm too dumb to graduate high school and now I'll be too old and won't fit in with anyone and no one will talk to me.

I don't even know where to begin fixing my life it all feels impossible

Similar position here, didn't graduate high school, can't afford a college, plus have no friends. And I don't have any family members to reach out to anymore.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I mean, the college thing is more so that I've never really had any normal experiences with people my age, I was really banking on it for college but I'm too dumb to graduate high school and now I'll be too old and won't fit in with anyone and no one will talk to me.

I don't even know where to begin fixing my life it all feels impossible

There are a surprising amount of mature students these days. I was 28 when I returned to uni. 10 years older than most people there. I was so nervous but then, there were at least 5 of us who were older. We did tend to gravitate towards one another but, I was lucky in that it was a friendly class. We mostly all got on and respected one another. Part of that's luck though.

But, I don't think all things are off limits if you want them enough and are willing to work for them. I actually kind of wish I'd studdied an apprenticeship. I think a job with real life work experience would probably be a good way in to working. It's a real challenge sometimes after leaving college. I'd be considering that route at your age I think.

 

[violetforever]

I mean, the college thing is more so that I've never really had any normal experiences with people my age, I was really banking on it for college but I'm too dumb to graduate high school and now I'll be too old and won't fit in with anyone and no one will talk to me.

I don't even know where to begin fixing my life it all feels impossible

i skipped over the high school part last night when reading and replying. GED would probably be ur best bet like someone else said. that's where u should begin. idk ur situation but i'm sorry ur family seems either careless or absent to ur development into adulthood and ur future. don't be so hard on urself.

 

[Dejected 55]

College was not for me, but it took me a few years of being in college to fully realize it... but 20 isn't "too old" at all IF you waned to go and had a field of study you wanted to pursue there.

You can make a good life for yourself without college, though... if you are willing to work at it and acquire skills that make you useful to others.

I haven't figured out the answers to socializing, except to realize that most people don't really want sincere meaningful friendships or relationships beyond what they can leverage for themselves to get what they need in the moment. It sucks, but it is too repeatable and observable to see who gets ahead in society and how little they value human connection... so I can't help you on the social front, but if you wanted to work or go to school or whatever, you're still VERY young and have lots of time to pursue a successful path if you want.

 

[lanadelreyisgod223]

hi love, so first of all you're literally only 20. so am i ! i'm currently a junior in college and have failed tons of classes due to my mental health, but i'm not letting that stop me. you're still extremely young. i've had classes with literal 60 year olds, and yes it may seem strange that they're much older than everyone else, but they're there to learn just like any other student.

if anything starting college when you're older and more mature helps a lot. many students are so burnt out from the pressures of highschool and their families to the point they get to university and do not know themselves at all. which typically leads to alcoholism and flunking out lmfao. it's never too late. i don't care how cliche that sounds. no one gets to define you or your journey but yourself. it's your life and it's up to you.

my friend also failed her license test literally NINE times before she got it at age 22. when i took my license test, i literally ran a red light lmfao but took it again and got it ! (they honestly probably shouldnt have let my ass on the road but whatever...)

hi love, so first of all you're literally only 20. so am i ! i'm currently a junior in college and have failed tons of classes due to my mental health, but i'm not letting that stop me. you're still extremely young. i've had classes with literal 60 year olds, and yes it may seem strange that they're much older than everyone else, but they're there to learn just like any other student.

if anything starting college when you're older and more mature helps a lot. many students are so burnt out from the pressures of highschool and their families to the point they get to university and do not know themselves at all. which typically leads to alcoholism and flunking out lmfao. it's never too late. i don't care how cliche that sounds. no one gets to define you or your journey but yourself. it's your life and it's up to you.

my friend also failed her license test literally NINE times before she got it at age 22. when i took my license test, i literally ran a red light lmfao but took it again and got it ! (they honestly probably shouldnt have let my ass on the road but whatever...)

just to add onto this, my coworker's husband dropped out at 19 due to his mental health issues now he's a mechanical engineering graduate student with an amazing job lined up for him.

 

[Mint Floss]

hi love, so first of all you're literally only 20. so am i ! i'm currently a junior in college and have failed tons of classes due to my mental health, but i'm not letting that stop me. you're still extremely young. i've had classes with literal 60 year olds, and yes it may seem strange that they're much older than everyone else, but they're there to learn just like any other student.

if anything starting college when you're older and more mature helps a lot. many students are so burnt out from the pressures of highschool and their families to the point they get to university and do not know themselves at all. which typically leads to alcoholism and flunking out lmfao. it's never too late. i don't care how cliche that sounds. no one gets to define you or your journey but yourself. it's your life and it's up to you.

my friend also failed her license test literally NINE times before she got it at age 22. when i took my license test, i literally ran a red light lmfao but took it again and got it ! (they honestly probably shouldnt have let my ass on the road but whatever...)

just to add onto this, my coworker's husband dropped out at 19 due to his mental health issues now he's a mechanical engineering graduate student with an amazing job lined up for him.

I'm not so much worried about getting a job so much as getting to having a normal experience and meeting people my age. I'll admit it was the main reason I wanted to go to college. To be around other people and be included for once. I guess it was probably stupid to assume that that would ever happen to me, but now I'll never know...

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I believe there's hope for everybody. Also, you're not too old for college! I'm 25 and going to college. I see people who are middle aged in my classes all the time. Never too old to get an education if that's what you want. I believe in you!

 

[woofwag]

There absolutely is hope for you. All of these problems are fixable. First, I'm not sure what you mean by being "too old" for college? 20 is a perfectly acceptable and normal age to start. I saw plenty of people who were freshmen at that age. In addition, I met plenty of people who were much older. I knew two people who were 60. One who was 65. You're fine. Everyone is welcome to start college at any age. Focus on your GED, then you can think about college. Baby steps.

I'm not so much worried about getting a job so much as getting to having a normal experience and meeting people my age. I'll admit it was the main reason I wanted to go to college. To be around other people and be included for once. I guess it was probably stupid to assume that that would ever happen to me, but now I'll never know...

I promise it is totally possible for you to have normal experiences with people your age in college. It will be difficult at first, but it's always possible. I made plenty of friends even being autistic and awkward as fuck. But I made an effort. I taught myself how to conversation branch, how to make cold openings, wear things that are conversation starters/notice other people's conversations starters, and studied body language. It's a skill like any other! But that means that you can practice, improve, and be successful with talking to people and making friends.

And as for the driving thing… I am 22 and just now getting comfortable with driving. I've fucked up; scraped someone's car, and had a minor fender-bender too. But I kept going. I still do. I'm not a failure for doing those things because I keep trying.

You can do this. It is not too late for you. You posted in the recovery section, so clearly there are parts of you who want, and believe, that you can be ok. Listen to those parts. I believe in you. We all do :)

 

[Spider Lilies]

I just started college last year again at 32 after dropping out at the "normal age" due to mental health. The time away from it was actually extremely helpful as I feel much more ready to tackle the workload now that I have experience in other areas whilst also dealing with mental health.

One of my coworkers is 38 and still doesn't have his license but he is a really solid employee.

These specific milestones are really nice to have but they aren't necessary. We all kinda have our own paths and they are jagged not a uniform straight line (i mean sure some people's may be, but most arent; we just arent privy to their personal deviations). People talk to me in college with no issues, they certainly will with you. You'll still be able to make friends.

The thing about being an adult is while you get friends your own age, it's also pretty common to have ones of many varying ages simply due to exposure.

Work on your GED, employment even. And feel out areas of interest for higher education or vocational training then if it interests you. But it is absolutely okay to go slow, it may even prepare you better in the long run like it did me

 

[nitrogenous]

Made a post like this before (sorry)

Basically I've never had any real interaction with general society. I've never solved a single problem I've had or gotten through anything. Can't drive. 20, so too old for college. Completely mentally incapable of everything. Zero control over my life. Zero skills or talents. Likely irrevocably mentally broken, though I've never really seen treatment so I have no way of knowing for sure (don't have any kind of access before you suggest). No one likes me, everyone is waiting to just die already.

Is there any hope for me getting better? I don't think there is...

Hi mate, I think there's absolutely hope waiting ahead for you… Not going to lie, I also feel the same thing, but one thing I've learned when I have no hope for myself is something called "borrowed hope" or "shared hope". This is where someone else holds the hope for you (doesn't have to be a friend, can be a medical professional, a stranger on the internet, etc). I hear what you're saying about how no one likes you, but I think this is where unfortunately we just have to keep on going until we find the people who understands us, who accepts us as a whole, not just selectively. I'm honestly still in the journey on finding those people too, so it's certainly not easy.

As to practical stuff, such as driving, 20 is definitely not too old for it. I just started learning driving when I was 21 and although it was obviously very difficult at the start, I was able to slowly but surely become better at it the more I drive. For me, the hardest part about driving is overcoming the impulsivity to just speed etc… But other than that, I think finding good rated driving schools in your area could be the first step to go. In terms of college, there's plenty of mature aged people starting studies nowadays (we're talking like 40++). Although, I could very much understand how annoying it would be to study with 18 year olds who went out straight of high school. Even if college is not for you, do you have any interests you would like to explore? It doesn't have to be anything big, just start in something small and that could also be a good way to start gaining connections (even if it's just a once off meeting with people). I often feel much better after seeing people, and the more I see them, fortunately for me, the less socially anxious I become.

I'm already so proud of you for reaching out in this recovery section. I know the thoughts to ctb can be really strong sometimes (same for me still!), but we should both take it step by step, day by day. Just know that you are never alone and I'm more than sure people here are all very willing to help you in the best way we can :)

 

[PI3.14]

I first tried to get my driving license at 21yo, failed twice, then went back at age 27 and passed it from first time.

Also, since when is 20 too old for college? Or for anything really? I'm 28, and I wish I can be 20yo again.

You said you didn't seek treatment before, that's one thing to try.

Also, regarding the driving license, I saw many people on the forum exaggerat the whole thing, and I think it's just anxiety talking. Cus, the whole thing isn't even complicated, you will be taught everything, what's important is to breathe and take your time, you will find quickly that it's your anxiety that's holding you. This is coming from a person who's been struggling from chronic anxiety since age 6.

Also, you say you're too dumb to graduate high school let alone college. Did you try to figure out the reasons behind this belief? Like, did you for example study for hours and hours and still end up not doing well? You need to figure the reasons out, could be ADHD for example, could be anxiety, could be anything really.

Also, you say you don't have skills. Well, most people at 20 don't have skills, some do ofc, but most don't. You can start exploring your interests and see if you like anything, there are tons of things so you'll probably never run out of options to try. Feel like you don't have interest in anything? That's something to address with a mental health professional.

I don't often frequent the recovery forum, but I just had a surprised look on my face when I read that you feel too old at 20 people will kill to be that young.

 

[deny_conformity]

I turned 21 during my first year of university and I was nowhere near the oldest on my course. You just need to put your mind to it and you'll be able to do it. Besides being a little older has some benefits and being friends with younger people will keep you young at heart.

I also learned to drive at 26. You're never too old to learn something new if you put your mind to it.

You're half my age and I'm not sure if I would kill to be your age again (being 42 has the advantage of being 20 years closer to death so ). I guess not having the "growing old" aches and pains would be awesome. Plus being able to see results of going to the gym in weeks rather than months. It's also a tragedy dating in your 40s because everyone is coupled up and meeting divorced people doesn't start until mid to late 40s so you're in a dating dry spot.

 

[whywere]

I like @Forever Sleep went to college alter, I went at 24 and after I retire, I just might take a few classes that I have interest in, age means NOTHING!

Everyone has talent(s) and everyone is good at something, and so are you, it takes time and exploring to find it, but it is there.

I am good at math, but horrible at anything with art, cannot even draw a stick figure.

You are very young and just starting out, relax, do not be so hard on yourself and take some time to think, invest in time to figure out you.

Believing in you always.

Walter