Sometimes. I go a few months without crying and then it starts over again. It's weird and I don't know what that's about.
If I'm crying over a song or a movie, it probably means I'm improving a little. If I'm crying over some personal trauma, it's really dark and hard to control.
But if I'm not crying at all, just hurting and losing my mind with no relief, then I'm at my lowest. That's when I can't distract my thoughts from taking my life.
I find it hard for me to believe I can feel happiness. It's been too long. Any improvement doesn't last very long and then I'm back in the self-feeding depression spiral.