Discussion Do you have a certain CTB date?

[sleazyyyy]

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

 

[purrpetrator]

I don't have one, currently. I wanted to CTB on my birthday and my ex's birthday, but those dates have passed already. I couldn't overdose because of constant surveillance.

Now that I have more chances to be alone, though, maybe July 4th. Might just be me, but having a certain date to do it makes me feel in control. Weird sense of "controlling my own fate." Also gives me more time to tend to any unfinished business.

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

i

Hi, first time poster here. Does anyone here have a certain CTB date? What's the story behind it?

I've planned my CTB plenty of times—hanging, jumping, drowning, poisoning myself with oxalic but all these options are way too horrific and I couldn't bear the lasting consequences if I failed. For years, I have thought of it, not once have I set a date. It seems like I'm still clinging on to hope that letting it be vague will give me more time and attempt at recovery but I'm at a point of time I don't feel it anymore. I can always choose later is now hardening to I have to follow through it.

I'm curious though, if any of you here set a date, regardless of what year, and the significance of it. I know it seems like a small thing but I think there's a sense of liberty choosing when you want it to be done. I haven't decided yet but I'm exhausted postponing a permanent decision. I've searched for painless ways to go and the solution is right in front of me: SN. At last, I can plan on how to acquire everything necessary and I also want to share that journey because I'm living in a country where getting resources is difficult LOL and everything left is a date

i'll do it on my own terms

 

[erpelwatcher]

I dont have an exact date to CTB that is meaninful.

My birhtday is in March and that is way too long as well as all other important dates (like birhtdays etc) are already over. I dont want to do it around the birhtday of my father in October.

I am currently doing some things (like the exact planning and getting materials) so it will take a bit. I also want to do some things (go to a place again i wasnt for a long time) before and need to get a ticket etc before.

I like that it is summer cause it is warm outside and looks quite nice altough the weather is only shit for the last week and will be for the next week with the rain etc.

I hope to do it this month if everything aligns, but am not quite certain unfortunatly.