do you ever wonder what would happen after you killed yourself

[Claymore7274]

I fantasize about it every day, but in the end it's not like i'll get to know, but i bet mom and dad would be sad. the rest of my family have gone through other family members suicides so ig it wont be that bad for them

 

[Clovurr]

My mom has trauma from her brothers suicide she would hate me forever and probably end up taking her own life too but I can't help but flirt with the idea of dying anyway, I was thinking of ending it when I get a little older and more insufferable to be around

 

[sadman1897]

It'll be an emotionally charged shitshow. I love my family and they love me, but I can't keep suffering like this for much longer. It's so bad…and it'll be horrible for them. I feel like such a terrible person and I'll be remembered as one by some. Rightfully so, in some ways, but they can never understand how torturous my existence is everyday. I have brain damage from medication and I'm stuck on said medication. Been riding this merry go round for a year now and it's only getting worse. I'll be remembered as a selfish mother for hurting my child like this but it hurts so much to stay alive. I truly feel awful!! . I never should have had a kid. if I knew this was going to happen to me ,I never would have. i used to be such a great mom; these poisons have robbed me of everything. I just want to rest in peace, I'm never at peace now, just pumped full of anxiety.

I'm in the same boat . For some reason SSRIs have destroyed my mind. My brain has become mush and it has destroyed me .

 

[UntitledUser]

I know my sister, my dad and my best friends will be ruined. But I expect they eventually forget me. I'm afraid of what they can find about me when I'm gone…but certainly I'll be dead and won't be to see what happens after ctb. But I don't know how other people will react. My coworkers? Old foes from high school? I wish we could decide freely about our destiny and no one else get hurt for my actions.

 

[idiotmother]

I'm in the same boat . For some reason SSRIs have destroyed my mind. My brain has become mush and it has destroyed me .

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this too, it's a truly horrific curse. I was first injured by Effexor and now I'm on anti-psychotics which have made me so sick. Because of my hypersensitive brain state I cannot safely taper them either so I have no choice but to ctb. No one gets it, they think I can heal and get through it but it is so horrendous, there's no way I'm making it out alive.

 

[sadman1897]

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this too, it's a truly horrific curse. I was first injured by Effexor and now I'm on anti-psychotics which have made me so sick. Because of my hypersensitive brain state I cannot safely taper them either so I have no choice but to ctb. No one gets it, they think I can heal and get through it but it is so horrendous, there's no way I'm making it out alive.

I'm so sorry that you are struggling . It feels almost impossible to heal from , like it's at a point of no return and becoming the person I was is not even possible .

 

[idiotmother]

I'm so sorry that you are struggling . It feels almost impossible to heal from , like it's at a point of no return and becoming the person I was is not even possible .

I feel the same way;(. It does feel impossible to heal from, so much damage already done. It's so painful to think of how and who we used to be.

 

[kipstriesagain]

i believe that after a week or two everyone will move on

 

[braintorture]

Do you want to die or people to know how much you suffer?

 

[mittymittens]

I always say I'll be pissed if there are more than like… five (?) people at my funeral. Where were they when I was alive? If I was not worth your consideration in my life, I do not want your pity in my death.

yeah the thought of people suddenly only caring of your existence only after death pisses me off too.
you can talk about suicide all you want with these people and they won't care but will moan and cry when they find you were serious about it.
as for funerals, i don't even think i would have a funeral, funerals are expensive in my country and my mom wouldn't have money for that.

Do you want to die or people to know how much you suffer?

both but leaning towards just death. both because there are def people who see depression/mental health as being dramatic. which angers me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do wonder about people's reactions. Will they be shocked or, will it be something they were in some way expecting? I hope it wouldn't really upset anyone but, it's so hard to guage. I'm mostly estranged from friends and family but still, certain things can still really affect us.

 

[schatzbunny]

Back in the Roman and Greek rule/times there was a fascination on the topic of suicide. Contrary to current Western perception, it was seen as an extraordinarily brave act. Sometimes is a means of atoning for one's despondency and an honorable way to go.

In this current Western age it's more neutral and bizarre.

When you're an old enough adult you stop giving two shits about what they say or think or the prevailing narrative.

In the end everyone will face the same fate. The suicidal only has the advantage of time and choice, while all others are compelled to expose themselves to a broad variety of harms which are only increasingly likely to arise in the future and then ultimately old age, the greatest evil, depriving life of all of its pleasures and leaving one only with the appetite of them and bringing with it all of its sufferings and loneliness with lesser and lesser autonomy.

this goes so hard

 

[bliss.bmp]

i've thought about it a lot, but i think the only person who would truly be impacted is my mom. i barely see the rest of the people in my life, i wouldn't want them to be so attached to someone they never truly knew. the rest would probably mourn for a day or whatever and move on, but just thinking about how my mom would feel makes me tear up. that's why i'm waiting for her to die or for me to move away before i end it all.

 

[woodlandcreature]

it'll take a while for me to be found since no one cares to check up on me. the people who lead me here will throw a hissy fit for a while and then they'll get over it and i'll be forgotten.

 

[madwoman]

I do think about this and I'd be so curious about the gossip honestly lol. Like I want to know how everyone I know reacts or what they think about it - but I'd be worried it'd hurt my feelings depending on the reactions. I want people to really understand how much I'm hurting and that's why I've been the way I have been. I wish I could know but not enough to like come back as a ghost to suffer still. I don't want to be put on the news or anything like that though, only for those that know me to know.