radar311
Send me an angel🕊️
- Sep 13, 2024
- 34
Hello! Sorry for my grammar mistakes, english is my second language.
Like the title says, do you ever wish that someone else was your parent? Somehow it feels humiliating for me to even think about that.
It's just that I come from abusive household. My dad was abusive, rarely mom too. My dad died when I was 12, probably from suicide, but that's another story.
I am in psych ward right now and my mom hates it. I am grown up now and she literally says that i am imagining most things. And week ago she said things that made me so suicidal. If I wasn't already here in mental hospital, I would be dead right now for sure. And then the next second she said she loves me. What the hell? She just dont know (or dont even want to know) anything from mental health.
It just hurts me. Why was I raised like that? Why didn't i never had parents, who cared about me and who didn'nt hit me or abused me verbally? Or at least let me have that safe space at home, where i could talk about abuse, that happened in school and other places? Why didn't i get to have warm food every day? I wish i grew up in different family i guess.. or at least died very young..
Anyone else thinking that?
Like the title says, do you ever wish that someone else was your parent? Somehow it feels humiliating for me to even think about that.
It's just that I come from abusive household. My dad was abusive, rarely mom too. My dad died when I was 12, probably from suicide, but that's another story.
I am in psych ward right now and my mom hates it. I am grown up now and she literally says that i am imagining most things. And week ago she said things that made me so suicidal. If I wasn't already here in mental hospital, I would be dead right now for sure. And then the next second she said she loves me. What the hell? She just dont know (or dont even want to know) anything from mental health.
It just hurts me. Why was I raised like that? Why didn't i never had parents, who cared about me and who didn'nt hit me or abused me verbally? Or at least let me have that safe space at home, where i could talk about abuse, that happened in school and other places? Why didn't i get to have warm food every day? I wish i grew up in different family i guess.. or at least died very young..
Anyone else thinking that?