• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
70
personally, i don't care that much, the burden of the trauma of finding my body is upon those who created it and refused to provide the means and place for its disposal when asked

the society that doesn't hold it's constituents accountable for whatever they barf out of their bodies doesn't get to complain when those bodies use the society's spaces to exit
 
  • Like
Reactions: Namelesa
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
625
No, but I worry about being discovered and 'saved'.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mateira, WhenIBreathe, pappapgold and 2 others
Z

Zoro1029

Member
Mar 15, 2025
87
No unfortunately I do not care that my family would be likely to find me. I plan to do it in my garage at midnight to give enough time for the SN to work. I dont dislike my family but trying to go to a hotel would raise suspicion with my mom as she knows about my mental health issues. I am at peace with it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fkyou and GuppyBoyo
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,589
If I'm gone then nothing can matter to me or concern me which is all I hope for, I just want to never suffer ever again, all I hope for is to be permanently unconscious with this torturous, futile existence no longer my problem and anyway I see death as something completely normal. Everyone will die somewhere someday and all will be gone and forgotten about, more than anything I just wish I was burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering, I just want to not exist, I'd personally be so relieved to be free from this existence I always saw as a mistake in the first place, non-existence is all I see as positive and desirable, it'd solve everything for me.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: a.hamza.13 and Zoro1029
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,712
It would be first responders finding me and they are use to it
 
  • Like
Reactions: everyday struggle and Higurashi415
H

horrorofBeing

Member
Dec 26, 2024
12
I do worry about this. I would not want to traumatize someone--a complete stranger, or a family member--by letting them find my mess. I sometimes have a fantasy of doing it in some remote area, but this increases the likelihood of being found by some random person, or at best leaving my family members with a "missing" relative.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,958
I don't have a choice with who finds me. I have to arrange it so authorities find me, since I have no one else who could.
 
deadbidaylight

deadbidaylight

And the sun will set for you
Feb 27, 2025
535
I don't care who would find me as long as it wasn't my parents or my child.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: everyday struggle and GlassMoon
S

Silently Dying

Student
Jan 27, 2025
101
I'll be found by some stranger and then the cops will show up. I will have a note on my car stating that it is hazardous. Do I care who finds me - no. Once I'm gone all the pain will be gone. I won't care about anything anymore. Pure paradise.
 
MercenariesofMidgar

MercenariesofMidgar

Specialist
Nov 30, 2024
376
Very much I do, that's why I'd never die at home...
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: everyday struggle and Higurashi415
Zyntkalla

Zyntkalla

Welcome to hell on Earth
Aug 28, 2020
134
At this point I don't care as much if a random person finds me. It's more I don't want to be saved. And I am still deciding if I want to do it in the woods, go on a trip or do it a home.
 
B

bwonto

New Member
Feb 21, 2025
2
I care a lot about it not being traumatizing for someone else. And, similarly, I don't want to be "saved." Intentionality and a loose plan seems to be the way, but it's a lot of planning and forethought.
 
Custos

Custos

Martyr
May 27, 2024
218
Yes 100%, although I don't want to CTB (I don't really want to live either), one of the biggest factors I consider if I were to CTB is what affects it has on others. Two of the better options in terms of being found, don't be found or in the bathroom of a unit in hospital where it's not uncommon for people to die.
 
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
625
I'm gonna be here at the halfway house (I'm a felon under probation) and so my roommates (other felons) will find me. I was excited to find adult underwear that fits so my roommates won't have to clean up after me if I soil myself in death.

Strange, the things that make me happy these days.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Foolishness and ForeverCaHa
T

Thomas599

Member
Jan 9, 2025
92
WHEN I do CTB, I'm fairly sure no one will find me for several days. I have managed to isolate myself socially, too many people in my life disrupts my personal peace so I eschew any meaningful interactions with friends or family. I have gone days, a week even without interacting with pretty much any one. When the time is right, I will drink my bottles of Pinto. and drift quietly off to sleep and never wake up.
 
gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
467
Honestly, I've felt that same kind of fury before—that if society won't give us the tools to leave safely, then they don't get to police where or how we go. It's not cruelty, it's cause and effect. You can't box people into suffering and then act shocked when the consequences land in public view.

That said, I still care about who finds me—not because I think I owe anyone anything, but because I know trauma spreads. And while I have no sympathy left for the system, I do feel something for the poor stranger just trying to do their job who ends up walking into it. I don't think they're my enemy. Just another bystander stuck in a design that hurts everyone.

So for me, it's not about guilt. It's about harm reduction.

But no, you're not wrong. If the world builds no exits, it has no right to complain about how people break the windows.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Zyntkalla

Similar threads

Darkover
Replies
13
Views
410
Suicide Discussion
tiredoflife2
T
Bowerbird
Replies
4
Views
258
Suicide Discussion
thelastmessiah
thelastmessiah
telemark05
Replies
23
Views
833
Offtopic
telemark05
telemark05
Archness
Replies
1
Views
138
Suicide Discussion
Michelstaedter
Michelstaedter