Discussion Do insults have any affect on you?

[Anxieyote]

I think that in general, people are more sympathetic to suicidal people in today's world of "mental health awareness" and such, but I do remember terms like "coward" and "weakling" getting thrown around when people started opening up more about their suicidal feelings. I think these insults were probably a misguided and reactionary attempt to prevent said person from taking their life by shaming them from doing it.

Do those words hold any weight to you at all? I think if I was called those two words at this point in my life, my reaction would be:

 

[Celerity]

I like your attitude, but I'd still probably be pissed because I am a ball of rage a lot of the time.

 

[stygal]

No, there's literally nothing anyone can tell me that I don't already negatively think of myself anyways.

In reference to ctb - yeah, whatever might as well "take the easy way out/be a coward" - don't care what others think.

 

[FuneralCry]

Not those insults. Saying suicide is cowardly is incorrect. Suicide is very difficult as we are programmed to survive. It takes a lot of courage. Non suicidal people will never be able to comprehend what it is like.
In general, at this point I'm not sure insults would affect me. I do not care what others say anymore. Only my own opinion is important.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Insults usually don't affect me because I've probably said even worse to myself at some point and I do that fairly regularly too.

 

[ven]

In my case, insults from others are meaningless when you're your own worst enemy.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Insults only anger me if they're phrased as absolute truth when there is zero basis. At that point I'm angry because the person in question is choosing to be dishonest and knows it.

Otherwise, no, I couldn't care less what a bunch of braindead NPCs think.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yep, big time. I am very sensitive. I can't deal with criticism at all, even if it comes from a good place.

 

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

They ricochet in my head for years and years... I still remember horrible things said to me as a child fairly frequently.
In a way its confirmation bias. Someone said aloud the thing I've been thinking about myself

 

[deflationary]

I know I'm a coward and a weakling by normal standards and I feel no shame over it.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

For me, I think it depends on the insult in question, and the speaker's tone and intent.

When I was younger, having a short fuse and vindictive tendencies meant that I would fly into a rage at the slightest provocation. Exacerbating the problem was a media diet of violence, and an inability to connect with my peers, many of who formed cliques of shared passions. My mind was often preoccupied with violent fantasies, and thoughts of getting even with those who wronged me. While the stigma attached to mental illness is nothing new, I used to take offense at patronising remarks and derogatory labels used to discriminate against the mentally ill. Scrolling through online forums and support groups only to be bombarded with saccharine platitudes and hollow gestures is nothing short of having salt rubbed into your wounds.

However, at one point it came to me that there is nothing to gain from working myself up and giving people power over me—people on their moral high horses, thinking they know what's best for you. Fortunate enough to never been brought to their knees by the black despondency that plagues many of us. With this in mind, nowadays whatever they say goes in one ear and out the other, like water off a duck's back.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Can't remember ever being insulted. Think it would be sort of funny.

 

[Seiba]

When I was younger I had more self hatred in general, but the criticism in general of the flawed attitudes of others in regards to suicide, emotions, and a failed suicide attempt just in general contributed to more self assuredness. I think I'm still partially anxious, having been just recently rejected from a plasma place for my pulse being too high. Having been homeschooled I think that's partially just primal lack of social experience seeping in, it would be odd to not be anxious when you were isolated and lack tons of social experience. That aside, I was a sensitive child and used to be incredibly anxious online as well as sensitive. So it's possible that's still seeping in somewhat and I'm just not in the position to really experience it much.

Can't remember ever being insulted. Think it would be sort of funny.

you (we) will never have a cute 2d anime wife and they probably would go for some jrpg wanna be if they existed

 

[nex]

When it comes to uncalled for insults in general, I usually just think what is wrong with that guy (the person throwing insults is usually a guy).

When it comes to insults relating to sucidality, I couldn't care less. I've had (or tried to have) many discussions about suicide and sooner or later they all resorted to emotional arguing because they couldn't accept that there may be logical/reasonable reasons for suicide.

Now I'm not someone who's not self-aware and unable to criticise myself and my opinions. But when it comes to this particular topic, I've rarely met even the slightest willingness to even consider a pro-suicide point of view. To some extent I understand that as it is a highly emotionally charged topic.

But the overwhelming emotional denial I faced in those discussion gives me the impression that it is they who are afraid, not me. A coward will refuse to even consider uncomfortable points of view. I was absolutely willing to consider theirs, but they refused to consider mine. So if someone called me a coward for that, I'd shrug it off. Show me the slightest bit of willingness to even consider a pro-suicide view in this discussion and we can talk. If you don't, you're a coward.

As someone who is almost always insecure, this is one of the few topics where I can comfortably say I'm on more solid ground.

 

[motel rooms]

My molester used to call me weak, so I'm pretty obsessed with proving that I'm strong (which is a weakness, I suppose). The last guy who called me weak did it to hurt me because I wanted us to be affectionate with each other instead of just having animalistic sex. Some gay guys hate themselves for needing to be submissive in bed, so they get verbally abusive. Nobody else would ever call me scared & weak because I definitely don't look the part & I make damn sure I never give off that vibe. When I'm nervous &/or feel like shit & I'm forced to be around people, I make jokes. When I'm forced to deal with assholes, I intimidate them with death stares & snarls. My bf is the only one who knows I break down every day, but he's so decent & his opinion of himself is so low that he would never attempt to humiliate me.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

It depends on who it is. If it's someone I know, it can sting. Sometimes co-workers mess with each other. Usually it doesn't bother me cuz I mess right back but recently one of the guys said something that hurt a little. Wasn't that serious and I didn't say anything back. I can't even remember what it was now. I guess it wasn't that bad .... since I forgot.
I think friends can hurt you the most. They know your weaknesses.

 

[lofticries]

I don't care tbh. Not all but most ppl have a breaking point with how much they can take from life. The ppl who call suicide cowardly and stupid better hope they never experience what it feels like to see no other way out except death.

 

[Brayu]

but of course we are weaker, every illness leaves us weaker and more limited (why would mental ones be different?).

We are weak who try to support others, weak with empathy... What's the use of being strong and shielded if you can't help the weak?

Strength for strength, money for money and power for power?

 

[Flippy]

I rarely feel bothered by insults anymore. Very occasionally one may make it under my skin. I also was teased with vile comments when I was younger because I felt "suicidal". In actuality, I had never expressed any suicidal intentions back then. It was more that people jumped to conclusions because I maybe expressed some black humour. I think it was a bit beyond their comprehension at that stage and sadly probably still is.

It's rare these days that insults will solicit a rise from me. Perhaps that's because I don't think I could feel much worse about myself.

What will likely solicit a reaction from me is factually inaccurate statements (about a variety of things). If someone tries to piss on my back and tell me it's raining. I will nip that in the bud. But contrary to what some would like people to believe, I don't get all "Dirty Harry" about it.

I actually think reacting completely unemotionally whilst still calling out people's manipulative (etc) behaviour is actually a good deal more effective than showing any emotion, be it anger or sadness. It denies people their prize while simultaneously putting them down a peg.

But uhh, people can be so fucking exhausting sometimes.

 

[MeltedJello]

Insults definitely hurt me. I try my best not to get offended, if someone says it as a joke though. A bad habit of mine is taking the insults, accepting them, & saying them to myself so that I feel even more like shit. I've always been so hard on myself, so that insults from others, don't hurt as much.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

No negative affect whatsoever, if anything they're good for a laugh.

 

[TriggerHappy]

Somewhere inside hate; there is love
Somewhere inside servitude; there is mastery
Somewhere inside weakness; there is strength

Sadly, that is the paradox :: that we have to be / experience one; to realize the other...
I'd like to believe that our tongues lash out and cut to protect; more than to hurt...
We have to be vunerable to be fierce.

 

[netrezven]

it's more like the effect goes to the offender

 

[stellabelle]

I think that in general, people are more sympathetic to suicidal people in today's world of "mental health awareness" and such, but I do remember terms like "coward" and "weakling" getting thrown around when people started opening up more about their suicidal feelings. I think these insults were probably a misguided and reactionary attempt to prevent said person from taking their life by shaming them from doing it.

Do those words hold any weight to you at all? I think if I was called those two words at this point in my life, my reaction would be:

View attachment 76712

Definitely not a coward, and not a weakling.
those words don't trigger me. It's just a meaningless insult. You open up about something and they play stupid little games and run their mouths. Then you decide you know, silence doesn't work, words don't work, nothing short of violence works. And then you're told you're the problem. So at what point can a person defend themselves, their property, their choices in life, or their life?
They shame rape victims and shame young people, they shame victims and say don't be a victim, but if you turn and become the assailant, you're the problem. So how many times does this have to occur before a person finally snaps?

I'm listening, I'm smiling, I'm playing pretend, ok, now I'm gonna trigger you.

bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.

Ooh ooh ooh ooh tell us more tell us more… call us if you need us… hey let's fuck with you again. Just to fuck with you. Just to fuck with you.
And if I do something physical or walk away I am the one who is fucked with. Repeatedly.