Do any of you remember when you were smart?

[Avril]

I can't explain this feeling anymore. I was always a smart person in class, honors, etc., but when the depression kicked in, I could barely think, last time, there was a Discrete Math exam and I forgot how to subtract on paper (with carry), and I realized how fucking dumb I got because of this. I'm tired. Will I ever be smart again?
FUCK THIS MIND FOG!! !

 

[aRose]

Yep. I have always been smart but my diseases have sucked the ability to utilize it from my marrow

 

[lpdsvm]

It's normal to forget some things if not practiced over time.
Some engineers forget things and use a calculator for simple things. Math is evil; it wants people to be fully committed to it.

 

[Alpacachino]

Part of it is just our mental acuity and memory fading with time. Happens to everyone. Also, depression is a different case altogether because it saps your mental energy. Hard to do anything after that.

 

[ScaredCutter]

It's normal to forget some things if not practiced over time.
Some engineers forget things and use a calculator for simple things. Math is evil; it wants people to be fully committed to it.

true, also my bf is really good at maths and he usually does it nearly everyday, i want to also be good at maths but im unable to keep up a habit of doing it often.

i dont remmeber if i was ever a smart person but, i was sometimes good at things but, i lost it because of how i wouldnt do it as much, lose the way of how to do it and be unable to reach to where i was at the time. maths is probably one of the most annoying ones since it feels like it must be embedded into ur brain. omg, but when people bring up how you were good at something and wonder why u became "bad" at it, really hurts.


oh yeah, when schools (usually just elementaries) do this grouping for subjects, id feel so destroyed because i was usually in the 2nd lowest/lowest group and it hurt, i remember trying so hard to just not end up in those but i was put into the LOWEST. it felt so insulting because i wanted to learn more, explore more but i was stuck learning the same shit i knew of.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I barely remember anymore. All I remember is that I used to be able to read books and do math, and I did well in school. Now I can't read a couple paragraphs without zoning out, forget math, and I was immediately overwhelmed by a non-art course I tried to take recently. I wish I weren't so overwhelmed by anxiety, I know that contributed to a lot of my decline because it started as early as my teen years.

 

[finaldestination22]

It is well known, science proves it ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/search/research-news/18438/ )

Stress and stress related factors like depression etc literally makes you dumber and unhealthier in many ways. Saw it on my own

 

[Hvergelmir]

I forgot how to subtract on paper (with carry)

I'm in a math-heavy field, dealing mostly with linear algebra. I haven't subtracted on paper in something like 15 years.
I'd have to fiddle with it, to reinvent subtraction on paper, to clear an exam like that. I don't remember how it was taught.

The most important thing is to know what a subtraction is, fundamentally, and when to use it. For the actual arithmetic, my calculator will be more accurate than the best of mathematicians.

Will I ever be smart again?

Most likely, if you keep wanting to be. The brain is very adaptable. I don't think my own intelligence development has been linear, but rather up and downs, depending on mental state and frequency of intellectual stimulation.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I was never really all that smart but I've definitely lost most of the stuff I did know that I haven't practised. In some regards though, I've outwardly improved. I'm less self conscious than I was because I just care less about life generally. What does it really matter what you look like if you intend to die? So, I find I can talk more confidently with people now. Slightly fewer faux pas because I'm less nervous with random strangers. In some settings though- say a working environment, I suspect I'd be worse than ever now. So, I suppose it's all swings and roundabouts.

 

[Luna223]

I was wunderkid, but now im fallen very low

 

[persepexa]

I'm still smart tbh. You put me back in primary school I'll do just as well as I did the first time. lol

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I was wunderkid, but now im fallen very low

Same. I just want to go back 20 years

 

[Abort!]

I was always kind of a dumbass unfortunately... academically speaking, at the very least.

 

[kuroshimi]

This is the one of the symptoms of depression. Noticed this in myself. But it's okay to forget things sometimes. I forget things sometimes, but that doesn't make me dumber?

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Most of the time it's just me being too smart for my own good. I don't regret quitting high school, other than that I wish I knew how to suck it down and be a decent human being.

Reap what you sow, they say, even if your classmates were unbearable, your teachers making it clear they were for the money, and even if you feel a general sense of being left out in the first place.

 

[LastAcrobat]

I'm "book smart" but it's not useful when I can't get myself to commit to anything

 

[kouna]

My elementary teacher has said that I was the best student he ever had.
I did well academically, I liked studying, uni was easy.

But I totally failed in life, mostly because I was naive and thought ppl were moral and played fair like me.

Now, I can't even complete my divorce so that I CTB in peace.

 

[usoiko]

Before the pandemic i was one of the top students in all my classes, i wouldn't say i was the smartest in school but i did do better than most of my classmates and peers, but after the pandemic i've just been stuck at a 8th grade level on everything. Im so lost, i dont think i'll ever be as smart as i once was.

These days im only emotionally intelligent so there that i guess

 

[HangMan123]

I can't explain this feeling anymore. I was always a smart person in class, honors, etc., but when the depression kicked in, I could barely think, last time, there was a Discrete Math exam and I forgot how to subtract on paper (with carry), and I realized how fucking dumb I got because of this. I'm tired. Will I ever be smart again?
FUCK THIS MIND FOG!! !

Yup. The exact same thing is happening to me. My mind fog is so horrible. Normally I could knock out a crossword puzzle (I do the NYT ones daily) in 10 minutes but now it takes me an hour. And I'm missing such obvious answers, even when all of the other letters are filled in.

 

[itsgone2]

My great talent was math. Always one of the top in the state, wanted to teach, got talked into an engineering degree. Went into IT. I used to pick things up so easily. But then numerous bouts of insomnia and depression and i get headaches just thinking about having to learn something new. It sucks. I've done many stupid things in life but my brain was capable and sharp at one point and that's gone. Just getting worse every day.

 

[death over slavery]

Literally me. I was a honor student during high school (graduated as valedictorian), was extremely smart and can solve problems with ease in time pressure. Things started to go downhill after graduating, as my intelligence drove me to realize how fucked up this world is and the world being not so black and white. Now I'm just a husk of my former self, not even caring if I would fail the college program I'm in right now or not.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Not really, I have been like a drone just mindlessly doing tasks for the past few years and only getting good with very specific thihgs like a singular game.

 

[attackingvertical]

I can't explain this feeling anymore. I was always a smart person in class, honors, etc., but when the depression kicked in, I could barely think, last time, there was a Discrete Math exam and I forgot how to subtract on paper (with carry), and I realized how fucking dumb I got because of this. I'm tired. Will I ever be smart again?
FUCK THIS MIND FOG!! !

Yes, it sucks so hard. I look back on life and it seems like ive been on a downward spiral starting in middle school. I'm 23 now and unsure if I'll ever be able to finish my degree. I keep failing due to depressive episodes.

 

[Beholder]

I can't explain this feeling anymore. I was always a smart person in class, honors, etc., but when the depression kicked in, I could barely think, last time, there was a Discrete Math exam and I forgot how to subtract on paper (with carry), and I realized how fucking dumb I got because of this. I'm tired. Will I ever be smart again?
FUCK THIS MIND FOG!! !

I'm struggling with the same problem. The most demoralizing part is knowing that my brain isn't just numb anymore, it's rotten. If you're depressed for a couple years, the mind fog can clear and you can still access your good old clear mind time to time, even if rarely. But when you're depressed for decades then it takes its toll on you (I'm 35). No matter how good you take care care of your body (exercise, eat well etc.) your mind still rots away. Now, I'm a shadow of my old self, even in my clarity moments. In my normal moments... let's just say I use several reminder and task manager apps just to stay alive because I can no longer think.

 

[SufferingDev]

Oh god - know the topic too well.

Started programming by 13, made my own video game by 15 (still earning money to this day), got a fulltime job at 16 (now I am a PO) everything seemed so great - bright future ahead.

Then...then I died, I don't know who am I today, I don't know who is typing that text - but it is not "me".

 

[X-sanguinate86]

This happened to me as well. I don't know if meds and age play their own role or if it's just years of anxiety and depression but I am way less capable than I used to be. I was deemed smart or at least smarter than most people around me but my whole life has been a shambles and it's been years that I've noticed myself declining. It's over anyway. We deserve peaceful death for this reason alone.

 

[Sphinxi]

Same here. I can still rail amphetamines or get drunk and do my schoolwork, because it is easy, but I struggle to generate new ideas. It's like my mind is a hill that children are sledding on, and now they can only go down the routes broken in by previous sleds. I used to be a prolific writer and I enjoyed my reading more. My understanding was so much clearer. I hate it, and feel worthless in my humiliated state.