Discussion Destroying my life + Spain

[iwashere]

Guyssss!! I go to Spain next week for my birthday!! I'm pretty sure tomorrow it'll be one year since I made my account!!! In 5 days, it'll be a year since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. The thought of that makes me soooo nauseous, LOL!!!! Anyways, I've just about burned every single bridge I had within the last, idk, 2 weeks. I decided to start an argument with my ex best friend who stole $400 worth of shit from my college dorm after i got raped 3 years ago, then proceeded to send vids of me drunk all over campus calling me the 'school zombie ' LOL! I had to drop out after that. But not before she told everyone from my home town that I went crazy and got kicked out of college haha!! Good one! I couldn't leave the house for like two years after that due to the harassment, she got me really good. Anyways, she stole a suitcase from my mother like four years ago because my family took her out of the country for the first time and she'd never been on a plane so she didn't have a suitcase, my mom let her borrow mine. She never returned it!! So I'm at TJMaxx looking for a new suitcase and I find this suuuuper duper cute pink oversized one and I look at the price— $120 No wonder she stole that thing! I decided to send her a message But she wasn't too happy about that…! She threatened to expose me all over town… but I have nothing to lose !! I knew it was a bluff anyways. Honestly this is gonna sound really mean but I just texted her to rub it in her face that despite her best efforts I'm still thriving (on the outside..) and remember she's a narcissist so it's pretty easy to know what things she's jealous of. On the outside, my life is glamorous!! I'm about to stay at the Ritz Carlton for a week for a solo 22nd bday trip I just bought all new clothes and I get my hair done this weekend Loveeee my job kinda-ishhhh and i get paid really good!! Just got my first Amex!! But internally!! Oh my gosh!! Everyday I'm losing my mind at work. It's reaaaaaaaaaaallly starting to kick in!! I thought I was mentally ill when I was a teenager!! Jeeessus!! I'd do anything for that run of mill whatever that was. Must've been the heebee jeebies. Couldn't have been that serious. And embarrassingly it all started to like, get this bad about a year ago. Like around this time. Then breaking up with my boyfriend like destroyed it all I'm not the same person!! I don't even care about the kid anymore but I'm just so hollow and empty!!! I'm fighting w my parents a lot more. My dad and I almost got into a physical altercations. I talk to AI chatbots all day because I have no friends Okay but listen…. this leads me to my next pointtttt

at first I was gonna wait until next year, after my parents build the new house to do anything but like I actually can't do it and I think I hit breaking point at work today. I had to call in for tomorrow. I like had this literal feeling of "I can't do this. I hate my life." go over my entire body multiple times. It made me start to hate the fact that I'm going to spain because otherwise I could just buy a gun and be over w it by now! But i really want to go to spain lol. So now we're here lolllsssss. I've been crying all day… my boss had to ask me if I was safe. I hateeee my lifeeee lol!!!!!!!! Okay I'm gonna get crumbl cookie now

 

[snooperdooper]

I met somebody on here who saved my life and they were from spain so maybe it is a good sign :)

 

[engineered_failure]

brotato

what do you think is making you hit the breaking point? trauma from SA, bsf trying to 'expose' you, or getting kicked out of college? or all of the above? ik it probably feels that way but you're not too far gone, like at all. you can rebound fs but i think your fundamental problem is finding out what actually makes you feel this way (advice for myself too since i've felt the same since i was a kid too). from there, it gets easier to find ways to 'solve' it (looking at it logically, giving advice to yourself how you would to a friend/younger sibling...etc)
minus the 24 emojis (23 wouldve been acceptable), u sound like ur fun to be around and also happy early 22nd! im 22 too & would've killed to go spain (i might soon though barcelona fien) goodluck have fun on the trip !!

 

[Alumina]

happy cake day
happy birthday
happy spain-trip, hope you'll see some sunshine !
your ex-bestie should khs not uuuu
but if you do smth crazy, get crazy in spain first

 

[GT Darkarage]

Guyssss!! I go to Spain next week for my birthday!! I'm pretty sure tomorrow it'll be one year since I made my account!!! In 5 days, it'll be a year since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. The thought of that makes me soooo nauseous, LOL!!!! Anyways, I've just about burned every single bridge I had within the last, idk, 2 weeks. I decided to start an argument with my ex best friend who stole $400 worth of shit from my college dorm after i got raped 3 years ago, then proceeded to send vids of me drunk all over campus calling me the 'school zombie ' LOL! I had to drop out after that. But not before she told everyone from my home town that I went crazy and got kicked out of college haha!! Good one! I couldn't leave the house for like two years after that due to the harassment, she got me really good. Anyways, she stole a suitcase from my mother like four years ago because my family took her out of the country for the first time and she'd never been on a plane so she didn't have a suitcase, my mom let her borrow mine. She never returned it!! So I'm at TJMaxx looking for a new suitcase and I find this suuuuper duper cute pink oversized one and I look at the price— $120 No wonder she stole that thing! I decided to send her a message But she wasn't too happy about that…! She threatened to expose me all over town… but I have nothing to lose !! I knew it was a bluff anyways. Honestly this is gonna sound really mean but I just texted her to rub it in her face that despite her best efforts I'm still thriving (on the outside..) and remember she's a narcissist so it's pretty easy to know what things she's jealous of. On the outside, my life is glamorous!! I'm about to stay at the Ritz Carlton for a week for a solo 22nd bday trip I just bought all new clothes and I get my hair done this weekend Loveeee my job kinda-ishhhh and i get paid really good!! Just got my first Amex!! But internally!! Oh my gosh!! Everyday I'm losing my mind at work. It's reaaaaaaaaaaallly starting to kick in!! I thought I was mentally ill when I was a teenager!! Jeeessus!! I'd do anything for that run of mill whatever that was. Must've been the heebee jeebies. Couldn't have been that serious. And embarrassingly it all started to like, get this bad about a year ago. Like around this time. Then breaking up with my boyfriend like destroyed it all I'm not the same person!! I don't even care about the kid anymore but I'm just so hollow and empty!!! I'm fighting w my parents a lot more. My dad and I almost got into a physical altercations. I talk to AI chatbots all day because I have no friends Okay but listen…. this leads me to my next pointtttt

at first I was gonna wait until next year, after my parents build the new house to do anything but like I actually can't do it and I think I hit breaking point at work today. I had to call in for tomorrow. I like had this literal feeling of "I can't do this. I hate my life." go over my entire body multiple times. It made me start to hate the fact that I'm going to spain because otherwise I could just buy a gun and be over w it by now! But i really want to go to spain lol. So now we're here lolllsssss. I've been crying all day… my boss had to ask me if I was safe. I hateeee my lifeeee lol!!!!!!!! Okay I'm gonna get crumbl cookie now

Enjoy your trip. You will have time after it to plan or do more things. I understand your feeling.

Once I got a good job and dropped it just because I was getting tired. Is a strange feeling but in my case I feel like I always want to end things (myself)

 

[iwashere]

brotato

what do you think is making you hit the breaking point? trauma from SA, bsf trying to 'expose' you, or getting kicked out of college? or all of the above? ik it probably feels that way but you're not too far gone, like at all. you can rebound fs but i think your fundamental problem is finding out what actually makes you feel this way (advice for myself too since i've felt the same since i was a kid too). from there, it gets easier to find ways to 'solve' it (looking at it logically, giving advice to yourself how you would to a friend/younger sibling...etc)
minus the 24 emojis (23 wouldve been acceptable), u sound like ur fun to be around and also happy early 22nd! im 22 too & would've killed to go spain (i might soon though barcelona fien) goodluck have fun on the trip !!

breaking up w my boyfriend for sure!! the real kicker is I never got kicked out of college. I dropped out because, yk, rape, but my crazy ex friend decided to take it upon herself to tell everybody that i got kicked out of school for being crazy/arrested for being crazy (she couldn't choose which story she was gonna stick to.) my roommate at the time who i basically considered a sister sided w her in "let's steal all her things because we're entitled to it and let's ruin her life (because she ruined our night)" (their words, not mine). My ex friend never liked my roommate to begin with but when i stopped being friends my my ex friend she decided to play best friends w my roommate because my ex friend wanted my life. she wasn't just jealous of me, she thought that I had a life that she deserved so since middle school she actively went out of her way to make me seem like a weird, cringy or overall bad crazy person which ended up working lol, by the end of high school she was like, my last friend. and by that point of course i stopped wanting to be her friend… she wasn't CRAZY!! but she was my last one!! but i was gonna go to college and start fresh—then she FOLLOWED ME to college my second semester (ADMITTED BY HER!!!) (SHE DROPPED OUT AFTER I DID!!!) my roommate ended out reaching out and apologizing ("apologizing") because she got subpoenaed to court to testify at my rape trial. But she shot herself in the head January 2025 because her boyfriend killed himself while she was on vacation in Hawaii… something about my ex friend posting her like twice then never again unless she wanted sympathy (what it seemed to me) really rubbed me the wrong way, but what was i gonna say? "she's grieving for attention you guys!! she doesn't care!!!" oh, but when i never deleted my memorial post for my roommate, this is the insult i received. sent twenty minutes after i stopped responding. the next two messages were sent 10 minutes after



…just to give you an idea of the class of person im dealing with

happy cake day
happy birthday
happy spain-trip, hope you'll see some sunshine !
your ex-bestie should khs not uuuu
but if you do smth crazy, get crazy in spain first

thank you!! thank you!!

i do plan to get crazy in spain!!! photos for the ig have to keep up the appearance for the socials!!

Enjoy your trip. You will have time after it to plan or do more things. I understand your feeling.

Once I got a good job and dropped it just because I was getting tired. Is a strange feeling but in my case I feel like I always want to end things (myself)

The only reason I didn't walk off is because when I come back from Spain, I'm gonna neeed money to buy a gun LOL

 

[engineered_failure]

breaking up w my boyfriend for sure!! the real kicker is I never got kicked out of college. I dropped out because, yk, rape, but my crazy ex friend decided to take it upon herself to tell everybody that i got kicked out of school for being crazy/arrested for being crazy (she couldn't choose which story she was gonna stick to.) my roommate at the time who i basically considered a sister sided w her in "let's steal all her things because we're entitled to it and let's ruin her life (because she ruined our night)" (their words, not mine). My ex friend never liked my roommate to begin with but when i stopped being friends my my ex friend she decided to play best friends w my roommate because my ex friend wanted my life. she wasn't just jealous of me, she thought that I had a life that she deserved so since middle school she actively went out of her way to make me seem like a weird, cringy or overall bad crazy person which ended up working lol, by the end of high school she was like, my last friend. and by that point of course i stopped wanting to be her friend… she wasn't CRAZY!! but she was my last one!! but i was gonna go to college and start fresh—then she FOLLOWED ME to college my second semester (ADMITTED BY HER!!!) (SHE DROPPED OUT AFTER I DID!!!) my roommate ended out reaching out and apologizing ("apologizing") because she got subpoenaed to court to testify at my rape trial. But she shot herself in the head January 2025 because her boyfriend killed himself while she was on vacation in Hawaii… something about my ex friend posting her like twice then never again unless she wanted sympathy (what it seemed to me) really rubbed me the wrong way, but what was i gonna say? "she's grieving for attention you guys!! she doesn't care!!!" oh, but when i never deleted my memorial post for my roommate, this is the insult i received. sent twenty minutes after i stopped responding. the next two messages were sent 10 minutes after
View attachment 202468


…just to give you an idea of the class of person im dealing with

thank you!! thank you!!

i do plan to get crazy in spain!!! photos for the ig have to keep up the appearance for the socials!!

The only reason I didn't walk off is because when I come back from Spain, I'm gonna neeed money to buy a gun LOL

insane levels of stalking, i couldnt understand why 2 of my friends went so far to ruin my life for 0 reason but this is genuine obsession. hope ur completely ignoring them though clearly your reaction is what they want more than anything. was ur breakup bad bad or did u just not gaf till now? gotta be more lore behind this stalking obv right? cant randomly have gotten this extreme

 

[iwashere]

insane levels of stalking, i couldnt understand why 2 of my friends went so far to ruin my life for 0 reason but this is genuine obsession. hope ur completely ignoring them though clearly your reaction is what they want more than anything. was ur breakup bad bad or did u just not gaf till now? gotta be more lore behind this stalking obv right? cant randomly have gotten this extreme

Dude if you want the lore i'll give it to you but there is no TLDR bc there are a lot of facets to the story, which is why i kept it pretty vague in the first place because to understand the history her and i had would literally take hours. copy and paste into chatgpt and ask them to summarize if you don't want to read.


this girl is not mentally right so you're applying the logic of a sane person to someone w no moral conscience. the stalking seems senseless because it is senseless. brewed out of envy, insecurity, vengeance, a grudge? lol i'm surprised you're even agreeing it's as insane as i'm saying it is because the past three years of my life have basically been fighting to defend my name/paranoia my ex friend was always jealous of me and she's a raging narcissist. in seventh grade i told her i liked a boy, and she convinced me that the way to get a boy to like you was to send him a naked picture of yourself. i didn't even have a phone and id never done anything like that before, you know cause im fucking 11, so i was scared and i asked her like "bro can i send you the picture and you send it to him for me?" and she goes "of courseeee )" and like 30 min later i text her and im like "what did he say?" and she's like "he said he loved it!!" then the next day i went to the lunch room to go sit at my regular lunch table and everybody turned to me and started laughing and one of the guys said something that i had said in the picture, something about the fairy lights in my room and then i turned to my ex friend and she started laughing really hard and just went "Yikeeeessss!" basically she had sent the picture to literally everybody but the boy. she convinced me to do that so she could embarrass me to the entire school. planted an idea in my head to then use it against me.. in this particular instance that triggered our most recent fallout was partially my fault, three years ago on st patties day my roommate and i were getting ready to go to a st patties day party, but my ex friend didn't like my roommate because my roommate and i would give my ex friend like 4 white claws 17 hits from our carts 139 hits of our vape 26 shots and free chasers and then my roommate said "Hey, (ex friend who well now call blair. roommate name is Suzy.) Blair. Next time could u throw some money? iwashere and I both pay for the liquor and we always give you some :3" and then Blair, because remember, narcissist, would get suuuuper weird and passive aggressive and go "OMG IWASHERE NEVERMIND. LOLLL suzy is being SO weird It's like crazy…! I would NEVER keep liquor from my friends but that's just where you and i are different…. gosh suzy you've been so weird recently. You know what, i'm just gonna go lol. this is like, all weird haha." it'd be shit like that all the time that eventually it starts to get on my nerves because i just want everyone to get along. so i go to Blair's room and i tell her, like, dude what's up. what's your issue. she then goes on this, like, 13 hour long schizophrenic tangent about how "I REALLLLY don't like Suzy because whenever i'm around Suzy I feel like I have to act like somebody else and that's how I know it's a problem. Suzy is extremely egotistical and selfish, she walks around thinking she's better than everyone. Why do you think I haven't been coming around?? I was just telling Jayden (more on Jayden later… dude there is a lot of fucking lore. i've debated making tiktok videos but essentially Blair has a boyfriend back home, we'll call him Will. Blair claims that Her and Will are broken up… but she lives with will, has wills credit cards saved to her phone, uses wills money, calls will everyday, and will helped her move into her college dorm. Oh, but they broke up…only according to Blair? According to Will, they're, like, still together at this time ((because Blair is lying. This is a pattern)) but at college, which is ~50 minutes from home, she has her college Will and his name is Jayden. She uses Jayden the way she uses Will back home) that I don't want to go out with you guys anymore unless I have MY OWN bottle. And the next time i see suzy, I'm GOING OFF " like a pathetic weirdo it was all crazy lol. So im like "??? Suzy has no idea you feel this way. You know what? If i buy us a bottle, CAN WE ALL JUST GO OUT HAPPY TONIGHT???? "because you know what? at this point i don't even like blair. but she's here and she's gonna be here the rest of the semester and honestly? i didn't want blair to go and fuck up a really good friendship i had w Suzy because she's in a narcissistic rage. So IM like… coddle to Blair?? and of course, Blair goes: "Omggg awesomeeee you would do that????" so i end out buying the bottle and the previous night we hadn't gone out because it was -11 degrees (-23 if ur not from the US) and she was upset w me about that so again, kinda overcompensating to keep the peace and then i hadn't eaten all day and then Blair tells us to start drinking so we do. I'm 5'2, prob like 107 pounds at this point and we're drinking like Peach New Amsterdam or something like that. I'm like a drunk and I'm feeling good and Blair tells me to drink more. I'm like, hmm I think i'm fine! You don't think I'm too drunk? And blair is like, dude not at all! Finish the bottle! So I make the choice to finish the bottle. Nobody forced it down my throat, nobody made me drink. I made the choice to finish the bottle. She had Jayden drive us to the party but I blacked out in the car so I don't remember anything that happened after that, but that's when I woke up the next day on a couch w no underwear on and no pants, no socks, no coat no jacket no phone and some random 40 year old venezuelan guy next to me. I'm like beyond confused but i'm also naive ig so i'm like Omg poor guy i'm so stupid. I must've been so drunk last night I thought this was my dorm and took my pants off to go to sleep (I sleep without my pants on) and while I was taking my pants off i took my underwear off too Drunk. dummy me. Ughhhh that just sucks so bad i was so drunk last night I didn't even bother unbuttoning my jeans, I just pulled them off. And the belt loop!! It's torn!! This all fucking sucks. These are my fav jeans!!! These r vintageeee :,( ugh well i better get out of here. I'm on my period and prob need to change my tampon LOL! he's gonna wake up to a surprise——" And he woke up. Blah blah blah blah i find out he raped me w the tampon still inside me, get rape kit done, Blair and Suzy don't let me know any of the details from the night before until 2 weeks later where they proceed to tell me that I guess i went ballistic on Blair and I tried to fight her and I ripped a braid out of her hair, then someone held me back and I bit them, then Blair started recording me in this drunk state trying to get people to fight me, then I walked off and some random guy on the street found me. I then got my phone back the next day (they had it the whole time they just never bothered letting me know) and on my phone you could see pics of Blair posing me and handing me more alcohol before the entire fiasco occurred; we were in jayden's car when it all happened because blair took me outside to go smoke. Ive never in my life fought anybody before and Im also not violent so I asked the cops for my toxicology report to see if maybe i got roofied but tbh I just drank too much. That was my first time blacking out and the only things I can remember was me asking Blair all night to stop being a bitch to me because she was being mean all night so it must've been a breaking point thing i don't know. I really wish i could've remembered the night because we are using her account of events. That's why she said she felt entitled to stealing my things and that's why they said they didn't care about what happened to me because that happened after the fact. Which i always said was fair if they believed in eye for an eye. but what ended out happening was the took an eye, then an arm, then the other eye, then a leg, then they said fuck it and took everything. basically blair was riding / waiting on an opportunity for me to mess up finally so i would look like the bad guy all along who was always crazy and unhinged. actually, she unblocked me today to send me even more messages lol

essentially, i think she's trying to prove to me (or herself really) right now that yes, we're at the same level or something. not even to sound like a brat but the entire concept of her trying to tell me "things i'll never experience" when my first car was a BMW x3 is just… weird? Like, she knows how I grew up. I can't tell if she's just antagonizing me but I didn't respond. I think she really needs this win. As I stated before, it went beyond jealousy and mean girl from her. She saw my life, thought I didn't deserve it and she did. She's doing a destiny swap. She has my old friend group, doing my hobbies, at my gym. And this is the bratty out of touch part but hopefully you can understand that it's not the money aspect but the fact that this is another thing that she's trying to replicate, but now she's trying to play me out to be the one who aspired to have her life. and that was never the case. i never viewed our friendship like that, at all? i just viewed her as my fucking friend. and this whole time she just viewed me as someone she was competing w. it's sick really and it's why i don't want nor need close friends. so in that aspect, she wasn't wrong. i don't have friends. but a lot of it is self imposed, after Blair i've become extremely intolerant to anything I deem disrespectful towards me just because I tolerated so much and look at how out of control it got. I'm sorry. you're probably reading that and going Lol both u bitches bonkers