Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,031
(I hate those ones that can go in recovery or suicide)
"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is only true if you have a moment to breath and feel your strength. Yes I'm not dead yet. Yes I'm strong for putting up with a lot. But just like that firefighter whose arms are growing weak from holding a wall up so people can escape, I can only hold myself up for so long. If he doesn't let go, he is going to die. His arms are going to give out and the wall will crush him. But if he gets out, he's sitting there looking back at what he did going "holy fuck awesome, I did that" So yes I am strong, but I can't be expected to hold this forever. Sooner or later one or the other HAS to happen. If I don't get a chance to rest my arms are going to break under the weight
(more personal)
If he doesn't come back.... Sooner or later my arms are going to give out. I can't keep living like this. It hurts. (and thanks bpd) I don't even want him back. He hurt me. I hate him. But... He's him, there's only one him and I love him. Not anyone else, him. He takes the weight off. He gives me the break I need to feel ok.
"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is only true if you have a moment to breath and feel your strength. Yes I'm not dead yet. Yes I'm strong for putting up with a lot. But just like that firefighter whose arms are growing weak from holding a wall up so people can escape, I can only hold myself up for so long. If he doesn't let go, he is going to die. His arms are going to give out and the wall will crush him. But if he gets out, he's sitting there looking back at what he did going "holy fuck awesome, I did that" So yes I am strong, but I can't be expected to hold this forever. Sooner or later one or the other HAS to happen. If I don't get a chance to rest my arms are going to break under the weight
(more personal)
If he doesn't come back.... Sooner or later my arms are going to give out. I can't keep living like this. It hurts. (and thanks bpd) I don't even want him back. He hurt me. I hate him. But... He's him, there's only one him and I love him. Not anyone else, him. He takes the weight off. He gives me the break I need to feel ok.
