Damage Done To Loved Ones

[ToTheNeverland]

I am so torn. I convinced myself that this is the only thing left to do. But now, being around my family became a torture. Whenever I look at my mother, I can almost hear her wailing in pure anguish at the back of my mind. I know her, she will never get better. I am dooming her to a lifetime of suffering after everything she has been through. In a way, I am killing her as much as I am killing myself. It makes me feel like a selfish waste of space. I didn't think I could hate myself more that I already did but hey, you live and you learn.

No real purpose to writing this, just venting I guess.

 

[s00ngone]

I feel exactly the same way. I have no words, just the same anticipation of my mother's and sister's screams and the pain I'll be leaving behind.

 

[Daxter777]

I would absolutely destroy my mom. I am all she really has. I was premature and she almost died giving birth to me so she is extremely attached to me. If or when I ctb I believe she would do the same. The idea of hurting her like that honestly deeply sadens me.

 

[brokencookie]

My anhedonia prevents me to care about such thing

 

[Dante_]

I don't have a good relationship with my mom so I guess it doesnt bother me to any significant degree plus im sure when I ctb, she'll find a way to blame that I thought i wasn't loved or something. My apathy is at its greatest level when it comes to family.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I had said this in another thread about pain and suffering left for loved ones you leave behind.

To me, death by suicide is no different than being killed in a car crash, natural disaster, drive by shooting, illness, disease, natural causes, or any other way your life ends. No matter how you die, there will always be pain and mourning to friends and family. Suicide will lead to a lot of unanswered questions, but will be treated the same as any other death.

Death is a natural part of life, eventually, everyone will pass away from one thing or another.

I'm way beyond caring what anyone will think of my suicide. I'll be dead anyway.

 

[Sir Otwudcul]

My anhedonia prevents me to care about such thing

Anhedonia? Sounds like a pokemon.

Death is a natural part of life, eventually, everyone will pass away from one thing or another.

I'm way beyond caring what anyone will think of my suicide. I'll be dead anyway.

It's good to see a logical, rational person once in a while.