DAE just feel too psychologically disturbed to continue?

[daysfeel]

Thats the best way I can sum my life up. A lot of events have been hurtful, wounds the ego, mean, made me sad. But that's all a cakewalk compared to the fucking horribly disturbing shit. My life has disturbed me beyond repair. Even talking about it is difficult. I'm talking legitimate disturbances... like witnessing people getting shot, feeling suffocated with very evil and sinister energy, watching horrible violence, having people slander your name, feeling like a total stranger because they see you as someone that needs to be avoided. I just feel too disturbed by everything I've had to experience, I feel like I don't know how to regain a stable conscience. There's too much destabilizing stuff that I cant unsee or unfeel. Like I'd been thrown into the darkweb and that was my reality. At this point the feeling of being a victim has gone away, but I can't get over these feelings of disturbance.

I don't even remember a lot of my life honestly, but the more I remember the worse it seems to get without being able to tell if my memories are accurate. Is this the price I have to pay for living in escape mode my entire life? I'd rather die than feel this way. I seriously feel like this is the end. I can't continue with the things I know.

 

[ididnotconsent]

It's very normal to be disturbed by the world. You can't go a day without seeing some article about a mom who killed her kids in some horrific way.

Your feelings are completely valid. I'm constantly on edge, paranoid, and disturbed as well.

i really don't know how people just operate as if everything is hunky dory. I guess i can't blame them. What other option do they have but to remain strong and cheerful.

It's okay to feel this way, the world is indeed a disturbing place. You're not alone.

And yes, being disturbed by the world makes it hard to continue.

 

[username12345]

Thats the best way I can sum my life up. A lot of events have been hurtful, wounds the ego, mean, made me sad. But that's all a cakewalk compared to the fucking horribly disturbing shit. My life has disturbed me beyond repair. Even talking about it is difficult. I'm talking legitimate disturbances... like witnessing people getting shot, feeling suffocated with very evil and sinister energy, watching horrible violence, having people slander your name, feeling like a total stranger because they see you as someone that needs to be avoided. I just feel too disturbed by everything I've had to experience, I feel like I don't know how to regain a stable conscience. There's too much destabilizing stuff that I cant unsee or unfeel. Like I'd been thrown into the darkweb and that was my reality. At this point the feeling of being a victim has gone away, but I can't get over these feelings of disturbance.

I don't even remember a lot of my life honestly, but the more I remember the worse it seems to get without being able to tell if my memories are accurate. Is this the price I have to pay for living in escape mode my entire life? I'd rather die than feel this way. I seriously feel like this is the end. I can't continue with the things I know.

Yeah not in person, but someone sent me videos of people being shot to death and told me I was gonna be next and I still don't know if they were one that murdered them, but no one cares about it. I'm so tired of middle and upper class complaints about life and stupid petty shit being centered and then no one gives a fuck about traumatizing things like this.

People do always say you just need to hold on but they mean like when you're just depressed but your life is relatively stable they don't mean when your life and livelihood is under constant threat. Sometimes you really have no fight left because everyone has limits and it's dehumanizing to think a person can go through so much and alone at that.