Ctb today

[Sphinxi]

I have been planning to jump off a bridge for a while now. It is currently about 10:30, I will take the train at 5:00, so I will be at the bridge at around 5:45.

I feel so frightened. Whenever I think about jumping, my heart rate spikes and I feel the blood rush away from my face. I will drink alcohol to lower my SI.

I want all of it to end. I want to stop being lonely, and to stop the day to day friction of living. I am tired of living alone, traumatized, and a prisoner in my own mind

 

[dalemar]

Whatever you decide, I hope you find your peace anytime soon.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I'm sorry its come to this my friend. :( I'll miss seeing you around, I hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do!

 

[darksouls]

love and peace to you

 

[iveseenfootage]

Whatever happens, I hope you find peace

 

[Lost Impact]

I've never talked to you but I always really enjoyed seeing your posts, like a warmth there. I hope you find peace wherever you go.

 

[eggsausagerice]

good luck sphnixi. there's no shame if you have to go back home. i hope you find peace

 

[Sphinxi]

5:00 update: at the train station, hands shaking uncontrollably. Alcohol basnt helped much.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I hope you are doing ok.

 

[chrysalisuponme]

May peace envelop your soul, dear stranger I hope whatever you decide to do will be the path that leads you to serenity

 

[Chabrychek]

I'll be praying for you. And if you are still with us, I hope you find solace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Sending love, you are in my thoughts.

 

[Sphinxi]

The bridge was too crowded. I couldn't do it. Going home now, feeling alone and dejected.

 

[Sphinxi]

I will go back tomorrow. I will leave at midnight, so the bridge will be empty.

 

[serenitydream]

The bridge was too crowded. I couldn't do it. Going home now, feeling alone and dejected.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Please know that even if we don't know each other, I have been thinking of you all day as I'm sure many others here are also. So at least in that way I hope you won't feel alone no matter what happens.<3 If you'd like to talk about anything with someone before you go at midnight you can message me if you'd like.

 

[Sphinxi]

It should be empty tonight, I hope it is
2:02 update: It looks empty today. Very peaceful. The view of the city is nice. I think I feel ready, despite my shakiness. I am trying to reframe my anxious dread as excitement. The freezing air smells like crisp sulfer. I am going to finish listening to my music (trees and flowers, strawberry switchblade -- a song like about agoraphobia) and then try as hard as I can to jump.

 

[eggsausagerice]

i hope you can find your peace. wishing you well

 

[dalemar]

It should be empty tonight, I hope it is
2:02 update: It looks empty today. Very peaceful. The view of the city is nice. I think I feel ready, despite my shakiness. I am trying to reframe my anxious dread as excitement. The freezing air smells like crisp sulfer. I am going to finish listening to my music (trees and flowers, strawberry switchblade -- a song like about agoraphobia) and then try as hard as I can to jump.

Good luck! Sending love!

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Hi friend, are you still with us?

 

[asthedayends00]

I wonder what the view looks like

 

[Sphinxi]

Hi friend, are you still with us?

Yes. I was there for a little over an hour chainsmoking, trying to get the courage to jump, but an orthodox man approached me and talked to me for a while. I think he knew that I was intending to jump, but he didn't bring it up. I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him, but we both looked at the city view from the bridge for a while. He drove me back to campus and texted my campus rabbi about me. I am not sure if I wish I had jumped. I am just going to try and make it through this semester, I think.

 

[finaldestination22]

Yes. I was there for a little over an hour chainsmoking, trying to get the courage to jump, but an orthodox man approached me and talked to me for a while. I think he knew that I was intending to jump, but he didn't bring it up. I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him, but we both looked at the city view from the bridge for a while. He drove me back to campus and texted my campus rabbi about me. I am not sure if I wish I had jumped. I am just going to try and make it through this semester, I think.

good call, what it's not meant to happen will not. focus on life for now you can die another day