CTB reasons, mine and yours

[TBONTB]

Sharing a couple of my reasons for wanting to "shuffle off". Partly just as a vent, but also to hear from others about what resonates.

Reason 1 ...we bought an old house. We now have so many needed maintenance and items and repairs we can't possibly do them, nor can we easily sell the house. Even if we do, we don't walk away with the ability to buy even a little place. We could rent for a while, but eventually the money runs out....before we die of natural causes. I feel desperate

Reason 2 ..what's happening in my country. Im deeply saddened by many of the current events. From a worry point of view though, the economy extremely worrisome. , I am terrified of what's coming as a retired person.

Finally reason. there's good old age. I dont want to be ill in the coming medical system, or to be a burden of family members who might have to care for me

Curious to hear your comments or your own reasons.

 

[idiotmother]

Brain damaged by medication. I'm stuck on poison that sucks out all the joy and makes me feel like a zombie. Also have bouts of Akathisia that flare up horribly if I try to taper. No one understands what's going on or how to help me. They think I can get better but all I've gotten is worse. It's isolating and frustrating and I really don't feel like I have much time left, this is such a heavy burden to bear. I feel horrible for my family members and I know I'll be remembered as a coward who couldn't just "push through it." I'll be known as selfish for leaving my child and family members and I deserve it, on some level, but I'm truly struggling. There's no end in sight to the suffering, how am I supposed to push through anything? Akathisia is horrific, no one knows unless they've gone through it themselves but they'll judge harshly until then.

 

[TBONTB]

Brain damaged by medication. I'm stuck on poison that sucks out all the joy and makes me feel like a zombie. Also have bouts of Akathisia that flare up horribly if I try to taper. No one understands what's going on or how to help me. They think I can get better but all I've gotten is worse. It's isolating and frustrating and I really don't feel like I have much time left, this is such a heavy burden to bear. I feel horrible for my family members and I know I'll be remembered as a coward who couldn't just "push through it." I'll be known as selfish for leaving my child and family members and I deserve it, on some level, but I'm truly struggling. There's no end in sight to the suffering, how am I supposed to push through anything? Akathisia is horrific, no one knows unless they've gone through it themselves but they'll judge harshly until then.

I'm sorry for your suffering. I apologize I don't know this but can you tell me about akajthisia?

 

[idiotmother]

I'm sorry for your suffering. I apologize I don't know this but can you tell me about akajthisia?

It's a need to keep moving, like your body is buzzing/can't relax your body. Many people need to pace constantly. It's often accompanied by severe anxiety and sleeplessness. Torturous. I'm not in a bout right now but probably will be soon when I try to taper seroquel. And that'll probably push me over the edge and I'll take my life. There's no way of knowing when it'll stop once it starts, and people get stuck trying new meds to help it, like I did. And doctors refuse to believe it's happening. It's awful.

 

[TBONTB]

It's a need to keep moving, like your body is buzzing/can't relax your body. Many people need to pace constantly. It's often accompanied by severe anxiety and sleeplessness. Torturous. I'm not in a bout right now but probably will be soon when I try to taper seroquel. And that'll probably push me over the edge and I'll take my life. There's no way of knowing when it'll stop once it starts, and people get stuck trying new meds to help it, like I did. And doctors refuse to believe it's happening. It's awful.

I'm sorry.

 

[idiotmother]

I'm sorry.

Thanks, I'm sorry for your situation too. Life is too unfair.

 

[TBONTB]

Thanks, I'm sorry for your situation too. Life is too unfair.

Some people get lucky, some people don't. We didn't.

 

[hmnow]

Because I want to

I have just decided it's time to leave and ass I get older life is not as much fun

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Lack of money makes me suicidal more than anything else, and probably will be the major reason why I will CTB one day.

 

[darksouls]

the main reason is chronic physical pain

 

[Realgar]

For me it is chronic pain, but if I had money it would be a lot easier!!

 

[already_dying]

My main reason is just severe chronic depression and nearly constant low level suicidal thoughts. I have tried so many different treatments and I think if the next one doesn't work I'm just ready to be done. I would like so much to recover, but I'm not sure that's in the cards for me

 

[FuneralCry]

For me ceasing to exist is actually something that's positive, I'd just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this torturous, futile existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, for me existing is so deeply undesirable in every way and as long as I exist I'll only hope for the peace of an eternal sleep, I wish you the best.

 

[J&L383]

Sharing a couple of my reasons for wanting to "shuffle off". Partly just as a vent, but also to hear from others about what resonates.

Reason 1 ...we bought an old house. We now have so many needed maintenance and items and repairs we can't possibly do them, nor can we easily sell the house. Even if we do, we don't walk away with the ability to buy even a little place. We could rent for a while, but eventually the money runs out....before we die of natural causes. I feel desperate

Reason 2 ..what's happening in my country. Im deeply saddened by many of the current events. From a worry point of view though, the economy extremely worrisome. , I am terrified of what's coming as a retired person.

Finally reason. there's good old age. I dont want to be ill in the coming medical system, or to be a burden of family members who might have to care for me

Curious to hear your comments or your own reasons.

Yes, those three for me too, except there's no "we".

 

[TBONTB]

Yes, those three for me too, except there's no "we".

That makes it easier..

Lack of money makes me suicidal more than anything else, and probably will be the major reason why I will CTB one day.

It's very real. I like to dream of the lottery

My main reason is just severe chronic depression and nearly constant low level suicidal thoughts. I have tried so many different treatments and I think if the next one doesn't work I'm just ready to be done. I would like so much to recover, but I'm not sure that's in the cards for me

Hope you can get some relief