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reiII

reiII

maybe there's something more
Dec 5, 2023
57
i don't want to be forgotten when i ctb but i also don't want to be remembered with pain and trauma from others. i never feel good or fulfilled after venting to my friends. i feel as though everytime i do i taint my own image. i become less useful. less impressive.
i cannot tell them anything, anyway. nothing true. nothing in the depth of my being. the depths will only estrange my friends. the only reason i be.
i'm always so angry of my emotions getting in the way of my purpose. i exist to make the people i love laugh and to make them happy. i hate feeling but at the same time i need to feel. i wish i had no soul. but if i had no soul how could i be happy with my friends? i wish i could always be positive. but how is that any better than no emotions at all? there is no empathy there.
why am i me?
there is no peace in my mind. i have been taking naps often just to silence the endless cycle that occurs when i am to lay without distraction by the people i know.
there is something fundamentally wrong with my existence.

thanks for listening to me woefully poetic!!!!! remember fujin from mk is awesome!
 
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