Convincing yourself it's real

[CantDoIt]

l have been using this forum as a coping mechanism but it still feel unreal that I'm going to ctb, like it's on the "back burner" if that makes sense. I need to actually convince myself I am going to do it or I'm going to feel miserable. A few weeks ago I had it under control but now I don't feel like I do and it's making my upset. I really do need to do it though.

 

[Not Sure]

I feel exactly the same. On one hand, I am planning it, setting up dates, fasting and getting ready but on the other hand it feels so surreal and foreign. Always end up bailing at the last minute...