Completely Stuck - Hospitalized with No Options and Very Scared

[Eastone]

I won't go into too much detail, but I got picked up by the police as I was mid-suicide plan but not yet in the actual process. I was brought to the hospital where my usual Psychiatrist, who I have always trusted in the past, works.

Things have not gone well. The ER doctors claimed that I was a risk to my child (which is completely untrue, and I would be happy to go into detail as to why I am not a risk to my child) and we hadn't even discussed my parenting, the supports I have in place for my child or anything. I also was compliant and decently polite considering everything that had gone down, so no reason to believe I have an aggressive bone in my body. They didn't share this medical record with me until I had been transferred to psych, and so I couldn't even address it with the doctor to clarify the statements.


My psychiatrist told me not to worry about it, but what kind of parent would I be if I wasn't worried about a claim that I am a risk to my child? Shouldn't people be more concerned if it is true? And if it isn't true, how dare they leave that on official records?



On top of that, my diagnoses on my ER records say one thing, then the official computer record says another, and my Psychiatrist is saying a third. Then he doesn't understand why I won't accept the hardcore treatments he wants to give. If I have what he thinks, then sure maybe I would risk it. If I don't - why would I want to risk morbid obesity, diabetes, cancer, organ failure and memory loss? I am now being threatened with having my decision making rights taken away and given to a family member. I requested it be a specific friend or an independent professional, but the law doesn't support that where I live. Plus I don't get any kind of day pass to go home for Christmas, even for a couple of hours.


Although I have access to methods to Ctb in the hospital, the checks are so frequent I would risk brain injury, which is a huge fear of mine.



Why is it that people care that I am alive, but they don't give a s*** about my quality of life? Why do I not deserve a dignified death since I can't be provided with a dignified life?

 

[DoubleUp8]

Im wondering where you are sleeper. I'm assuming somewhere in USA but maybe I shouldn't assume that. I'm wondering about 2 things. 1) Where are you that they can hold you beyond the 72 hour window and 2) Where are you that you are able to post on this site from a psych facility. Every time I was in 1 they took away my cellphone and pretty much everything else I had with me and couldn't get near to any communication device other than 1 traditional 20th century landline phone on the wall

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

That's really powerful
They don't care that we're alive
Just conditioned to keep us alive
We do deserve a dignified way
We just happen to live in a place that doesn't support us
And the majority of us don't fight hard enough for it
Just be as compliant as possible
Take care

 

[DoubleUp8]

Did you manage to smuggle in a cellphone? Use 1 of their computers when no one was paying attention?

I won't go into too much detail, but I got picked up by the police as I was mid-suicide plan but not yet in the actual process. I was brought to the hospital where my usual Psychiatrist, who I have always trusted in the past, works.

Things have not gone well. The ER doctors claimed that I was a risk to my child (which is completely untrue, and I would be happy to go into detail as to why I am not a risk to my child) and we hadn't even discussed my parenting, the supports I have in place for my child or anything. I also was compliant and decently polite considering everything that had gone down, so no reason to believe I have an aggressive bone in my body. They didn't share this medical record with me until I had been transferred to psych, and so I couldn't even address it with the doctor to clarify the statements.


My psychiatrist told me not to worry about it, but what kind of parent would I be if I wasn't worried about a claim that I am a risk to my child? Shouldn't people be more concerned if it is true? And if it isn't true, how dare they leave that on official records?



On top of that, my diagnoses on my ER records say one thing, then the official computer record says another, and my Psychiatrist is saying a third. Then he doesn't understand why I won't accept the hardcore treatments he wants to give. If I have what he thinks, then sure maybe I would risk it. If I don't - why would I want to risk morbid obesity, diabetes, cancer, organ failure and memory loss? I am now being threatened with having my decision making rights taken away and given to a family member. I requested it be a specific friend or an independent professional, but the law doesn't support that where I live. Plus I don't get any kind of day pass to go home for Christmas, even for a couple of hours.


Although I have access to methods to Ctb in the hospital, the checks are so frequent I would risk brain injury, which is a huge fear of mine.



Why is it that people care that I am alive, but they don't give a s*** about my quality of life? Why do I not deserve a dignified death since I can't be provided with a dignified life?

I'm sorry I was trying to ask eastone not sleeper. I'm kind new here. Less than a week and made a mistake. Sorry I got it confused. Eastone wrote the post and sleeper gave it a like. I got confused.

 

[Eastone]

1) Where are you that they can hold you beyond the 72 hour window

I am in Canada. A physician initially can certify you for 24 hours, but if, within the 24 hours, a psychiatrist can sign a second certificate which then applies for thirty days.

2) Where are you that you are able to post on this site from a psych facility.

Where I live, cell phones are almost always permitted in psych wards, especially because of COVID. I can't access this website via hospital wifi, but I can on my cell phone internet network LTE or whatever it is called.

 

[beelzebul]

Why are you planning suicide when you have a child? Is your kid not your responsibility?

 

[DoubleUp8]

I am in Canada. A physician initially can certify you for 24 hours, but if, within the 24 hours, a psychiatrist can sign a second certificate which then applies for thirty days.


Where I live, cell phones are almost always permitted in psych wards, especially because of COVID. I can't access this website via hospital wifi, but I can on my cell phone internet network LTE or whatever it is called.

I am surprised. In 1 respect the 30 day hold is more fucked up than the USA 72 hour hold and then u have a right to a judicial hearing. Canada they can hold you 30 days on a shrink's say so? That's really fucked up. But the other thing being allowed your cellphone is less fucked up than here. In USA they take everything u got with u away even if it's something completely harmless. Thanks for the info. I like knowing how things are other places from people who actually know.
But just reading your headline and saying your scared says so much. How fucked up is the mental health industry generally and apparently not just here. They're making you feel scared. Is that good for your mental health? And then being locked in for 30 days can cause more problems in your life than you already got like maybe lose a job or a place to live. Is that good for anyone's mental health? The hypocrisy of what they do is shameful. I read somewhere today that United Nations considers involuntary commitment for mental health reasons as a human rights violation. So there must be some countries where it's not allowed.

 

[abouttosuicide]

Why are you planning suicide when you have a child? Is your kid not your responsibility?

I am also wondering the same. Who's going to take care of the kid if OP decides to CTB?

 

[Whale_bones]

I'm sorry you're in this situation, Eastone. IME, you really have no rights while you're in there. Legally, you are supposed to still have some rights, but in reality there's no way to stop those rights from being violated. From what I've seen time and time again, the only thing you can do is wait until you're out to fight things.

No matter how incorrect something is, you won't have a way to gather the evidence, access to proper legal representation, or many other resources you might need to prove anything while on the inside. Often, you won't be able to even request these things, because generally everyone you interact with views you with derision and dismisses you before you've even said a word to them. The best thing you can do is follow their "treatment plan", since the faster you do that, the faster you'll be released. Then you can address any false claims that were written in your records.

If you do try to fight it from where you're at, they'll likely just claim it's a symptom of your mental illness and use it as a reason to keep you longer. As awful as it is, just remember that when you get out you'll be able to gather the evidence you need (copies of your medical records, etc) and you won't be in a position where someone else has all the power. Best of luck, sending you strength.

 

[Jolene79]

I am also wondering the same. Who's going to take care of the kid if OP decides to CTB?

I'm guessing poor OP is in a real state right now - as most suicidal people are - and has thought endlessly about their child. This isn't helpful.

I'd just go along with it and take the meds. I would worry less about cancer, diabetes than your mental health tbh. Your mental state is the biggest problem right now. I know drugs mess people up but they do help many people. I've been on in antidepressants in the past and they did transform my thinking in a good way.

Your choices are limited. Best of a bad bunch of options.

 

[Ah.ow]

I am in Canada. A physician initially can certify you for 24 hours, but if, within the 24 hours, a psychiatrist can sign a second certificate which then applies for thirty days.


Where I live, cell phones are almost always permitted in psych wards, especially because of COVID. I can't access this website via hospital wifi, but I can on my cell phone internet network LTE or whatever it is called.

what was it about covid? visits not allowed?