Discussion Cognitive Dissonance about self....

[MeltingHeart]

Anyone else have the kind of oppositional views of really hating selves a lot for many reasons- whilst at the time believing and knowing that you are intrinsically a good person & also not wanting to blame others in some sense & take responsibility for yrself. But also can't help in some ways that other people hugely contributed to how u feel and have ended up. I also feel I have a higher level of emotional insight compared to a lot of people I know that makes me feel very lonely - well also very intellectually inferior . My education was seriously screwed up- so I feel alot damn dumber than I come
have been - cos
I think a lot ,
Quickly & deeply - but it wasn't channeled in the right way . So now very active mind is fucked in the extreme - and just drawn to so much darkness.

 

[trynacbt]

I can really relate to hating myself but knowing that I am intrinsically good. I think I have great intentions but because of lack of intelligence/confidence I come up very short.
And yes, I'm always going back and forth between placing responsibility on others vs. myself. I think in the end I see it more as a 'me' thing and I just hope that those I love will understand that my decision is a personal one--what I wanted, nothing to be sad about.