Clearly, nobody cares about mental health

[Aplev]

Or at least, not as much. I know, there are many problems in the world... I'm just exhausted is all I think. I don't want to minimize anyone's problems in the same way I don't want mine to be minimized.

It's still frustrating though. Sure, in number there are many many organizations out there, there are tons of available therapists, there are lots of videos, of influencers talking about the topic... sure, there is visibility. But, it's always the same: "just" seek professional help. "Just" stop being sad. "Just" do something about it. "Just" go and live your life. Etc. etc.

Daily conversations are rarely about mental health. They're often about other kinds of problems, problems that everyone or almost everyone says "oh yeah that sucks". But then you say something like "I can't stand seeing the desk located in this specific position" and everyone's like "okay?", and then they move on to the next "important" topic, like what you said just... nobody cares.

Or in some worse cases, they even joke about it. "Oh you're being so OCD right now" and stuff. Or ghost you and don't want anything to do with you anymore.

It's... annoying. And frustrating. And probably nothing will change after I post this thread. But I still had to say it.

Freaking sucks.

EDIT: And this is what makes me think... just let me vanish.

 

[Average Joe]

I'm so sorry that you feel this way, I hoped venting here helped even just a little.
You're problems are definitely not minimised here, I could see how joking about it might minimise your problems.

Imo, when I'm met with similar responses, it's because nobody has anything useful to say and they lack compassion.

 

[Aplev]

Hey, thanks for your response! I was feeling very ignored. Then again, I imagine that's because it gave 'vent vibes' to most people.

It happens all the time. I pretty much gave OCD as an example because it's one of 'the' things that get the most minimized/joked about, and the one that I felt the most minimized when I wrote the post, but of course there are others, sadly. Like wanting to die because tonight you didn't get to eat the meal that you planned. Either way, I don't like to give labels to mental conditions, but I'm using them now for the sake of clarity in communication.

People talk about economic problems the most, and hey, it's a pretty serious issue not having something to eat. I don't want to minimize that. But at the same time, I hate it that because of those topics, topics that affect me more become almost 100% irrelevant in comparison. If someone thinks I'm a terrible person for saying this, fine, I'm a terrible person for saying this.

Specifically, what I'm talking about is called 'Overton Window', basically at any point in time throughout human history, there's been topics that have been more popular and 'socially acceptable to talk about' than others, even if the latter affect to society quite more than most think. The concept also applies to *how* these topics are discussed. Which was also my point in this post. I'm very frustrated at how mental health is viewed in our society.

Ok I expressed myself some more lol. But I wanted to clarify a bit since, when I wrote the post, I didn't feel like being too specific, but today maybe because I'm in a kinda bad mood I felt like just being more direct with it.

 

[Average Joe]

Hey, thanks for your response! I was feeling very ignored. Then again, I imagine that's because it gave 'vent vibes' to most people.

It happens all the time. I pretty much gave OCD as an example because it's one of 'the' things that get the most minimized/joked about, and the one that I felt the most minimized when I wrote the post, but of course there are others, sadly. Like wanting to die because tonight you didn't get to eat the meal that you planned. Either way, I don't like to give labels to mental conditions, but I'm using them now for the sake of clarity in communication.

People talk about economic problems the most, and hey, it's a pretty serious issue not having something to eat. I don't want to minimize that. But at the same time, I hate it that because of those topics, topics that affect me more become almost 100% irrelevant in comparison. If someone thinks I'm a terrible person for saying this, fine, I'm a terrible person for saying this.

Specifically, what I'm talking about is called 'Overton Window', basically at any point in time throughout human history, there's been topics that have been more popular and 'socially acceptable to talk about' than others, even if the latter affect to society quite more than most think. The concept also applies to *how* these topics are discussed. Which was also my point in this post. I'm very frustrated at how mental health is viewed in our society.

Ok I expressed myself some more lol. But I wanted to clarify a bit since, when I wrote the post, I didn't feel like being too specific, but today maybe because I'm in a kinda bad mood I felt like just being more direct with it.

Hey, I'm sorry you felt ignored. There's a lot of posts here and I think some slip under the radar or maybe some people don't know what to say. You are right about the "vent vibes", I still don't know whether to reply to someone venting or not. Some people vent and need validation while others just need to get something off their chest and don't want replies.

Labels are quite iffy aren't they? I don't mind using them here because most people on this forum get it, whereas irl I tend not to share my label/diagnosis because of the stigma.

For years, our problems have been minimised. I've heard people say the typical "but there's kids starving in Africa", which feels like it's minimising our problems but just because someone has it worse, doesn't mean that our suffering should be invalidated.

I've never heard of Overton Window before but I can see how that applies to your initial post.

Please continue to express yourself here, I'm not a mod or anything but I try engage with the community a bit. Also I'm sorry you're in a bad mood today, but sometimes being direct is better.

 

[Aplev]

Hey, I'm sorry you felt ignored. There's a lot of posts here and I think some slip under the radar or maybe some people don't know what to say. You are right about the "vent vibes", I still don't know whether to reply to someone venting or not. Some people vent and need validation while others just need to get something off their chest and don't want replies.

Labels are quite iffy aren't they? I don't mind using them here because most people on this forum get it, whereas irl I tend not to share my label/diagnosis because of the stigma.

For years, our problems have been minimised. I've heard people say the typical "but there's kids starving in Africa", which feels like it's minimising our problems but just because someone has it worse, doesn't mean that our suffering should be invalidated.

I've never heard of Overton Window before but I can see how that applies to your initial post.

Please continue to express yourself here, I'm not a mod or anything but I try engage with the community a bit. Also I'm sorry you're in a bad mood today, but sometimes being direct is better.

Hey, thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately, I lost a lot of mine. I want to return it to you, but it just doesn't come out. I hope you don't see that as rude. At the very least, I want to say thank you though.

They're quite iffy.

Yeah, I just want someone to listen. Even though nobody does (not because they don't want to, but because they can't, my situation is far too complex, and I guess anyone can feel that in my words, so not much to say about it), I still can't fully shut myself. Sometimes, I feel like I'm shouting to the nothingness and it breaks my heart apart. But I still do it. It's still better than nothing. Even if no one understands.

I did feel a little better a while ago, but I'm back into super dark, cloudy numb mood after I saw something I really didn't want to see.

 

[Average Joe]

Hey, thank you for your kindness. Unfortunately, I lost a lot of mine. I want to return it to you, but it just doesn't come out. I hope you don't see that as rude. At the very least, I want to say thank you though.

They're quite iffy.

Yeah, I just want someone to listen. Even though nobody does (not because they don't want to, but because they can't, my situation is far too complex, and I guess anyone can feel that in my words, so not much to say about it), I still can't fully shut myself. Sometimes, I feel like I'm shouting to the nothingness and it breaks my heart apart. But I still do it. It's still better than nothing. Even if no one understands.

I did feel a little better a while ago, but I'm back into super dark, cloudy numb mood after I saw something I really didn't want to see.

Hey, don't worry I don't see it as being rude. I can feel your exhaustion.

You've hit the nail perfectly on the head. Unfortunately, when you try to communicate with someone, they realise it's too complex for them.

You can shout here if you like but I won't bullshit you, I don't know much about your situation and I know it probably feels the same as shouting into the the void. I'm sorry that it breaks your heart. I cried into my backpack the other day; if I weren't in public, I would have shouted/screamed into it.

Also I'm real sorry you seen something upsetting, I remember chatting with another member and they seen something really fked up online. Hopefully with time, the image in your head of what you saw won't be as intense.

 

[Aplev]

Hey, don't worry I don't see it as being rude. I can feel your exhaustion.

You've hit the nail perfectly on the head. Unfortunately, when you try to communicate with someone, they realise it's too complex for them.

You can shout here if you like but I won't bullshit you, I don't know much about your situation and I know it probably feels the same as shouting into the the void. I'm sorry that it breaks your heart. I cried into my backpack the other day; if I weren't in public, I would have shouted/screamed into it.

Also I'm real sorry you seen something upsetting, I remember chatting with another member and they seen something really fked up online. Hopefully with time, the image in your head of what you saw won't be as intense.

Though I've seen pretty disturbing content online, in more than one form (images, text, sounds, etc.) It wasn't an image per se this specific time around, rather it was the presence of a person I'd rather not know of.

Something very good happened, I had a great accomplishment. I was genuinely happy for a few moments. But I'm still sad. It's been like this like forever, not the first time it happens. Recently I've been thinking, I'm just an empty shell. Whenever I'm feeling happy, or sad, or creative, or anything else, it's not *me* that is feeling happy, sad or creative or anything else. It's rather the body I'm in. I'm feeling as part of the chemical processes. I have no soul. I'm observing states the body is going through. Somehow that makes me want to cry. I want to have a soul. But it seems to be better this way? Seems like this way, I transition from one state into the other smoothly and remain productive. But it also feels so false when I say I feel one way or another.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Though I've seen pretty disturbing content online, in more than one form (images, text, sounds, etc.) It wasn't an image per se this specific time around, rather it was the presence of a person I'd rather not know of.

Something very good happened, I had a great accomplishment. I was genuinely happy for a few moments. But I'm still sad. It's been like this like forever, not the first time it happens. Recently I've been thinking, I'm just an empty shell. Whenever I'm feeling happy, or sad, or creative, or anything else, it's not *me* that is feeling happy, sad or creative or anything else. It's rather the body I'm in. I'm feeling as part of the chemical processes. I have no soul. I'm observing states the body is going through. Somehow that makes me want to cry. I want to have a soul. But it seems to be better this way? Seems like this way, I transition from one state into the other smoothly and remain productive. But it also feels so false when I say I feel one way or another.

I've been done dirty by a few so-called enlightened people. MH awareness is a damn joke.

 

[Aplev]

I've been done dirty by a few so-called enlightened people. MH awareness is a damn joke.

Oh me too. I'm glad at least some people realize what a big, stupid, clowny joke it is. So-called enlightened people: "be stoic, be direct, express yourself, never ghost anybody, always talk things through!". Also so-called enlightened people: *ghosts you, blocks you, never say a thing about how they feel, avoid difficult topics like suicide, they have terrible relationships and many of them ended in bad terms*. Truth is, they as well want to feed and boost their ego and feel like some sort of hero and superperson. We all do. But really. So much hypocrisy.
(There's also the money aspect of course. "MH awareness" sells. And it sells *good*. Yup that's right. They're making money out of people's sickness. Oh people are now feeling even more sick than before they bought on this "MH awareness" nonsense? That doesn't have anything to do with money. Oh! But we could sell them even more of it to get even more money! Money money money! Power power power! Now *that* is interesting! Like seriously. They couldn't care less. Literally.)

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Oh me too. I'm glad at least some people realize what a big, stupid, clowny joke it is. So-called enlightened people: "be stoic, be direct, express yourself, never ghost anybody, always talk things through!". Also so-called enlightened people: *ghosts you, blocks you, never say a thing about how they feel, avoid difficult topics like suicide, they have terrible relationships and many of them ended in bad terms*. Truth is, they as well want to feed and boost their ego and feel like some sort of hero and superperson. We all do. But really. So much hypocrisy.
(There's also the money aspect of course. "MH awareness" sells. And it sells *good*. Yup that's right. They're making money out of people's sickness. Oh people are now feeling even more sick than before they bought on this "MH awareness" nonsense? That doesn't have anything to do with money. Oh! But we could sell them even more of it to get even more money! Money money money! Power power power! Now *that* is interesting! Like seriously. They couldn't care less. Literally.)

A woman straight up bullied me at work while I was texting 988. Then she accused me of lying for no reason, then told me that people don't respect me. I blocked that c*nt.

 

[Average Joe]

Recently I've been thinking, I'm just an empty shell. Whenever I'm feeling happy, or sad, or creative, or anything else, it's not *me* that is feeling happy, sad or creative or anything else. It's rather the body I'm in. I'm feeling as part of the chemical processes. I have no soul. I'm observing states the body is going through. Somehow that makes me want to cry. I want to have a soul. But it seems to be better this way? Seems like this way, I transition from one state into the other smoothly and remain productive. But it also feels so false when I say I feel one way or another.

Hey bud, I can kind of understand that.
Would you say you're feeling detached from your body/shell? It sounds like something (I'm no expert) but it sounds like depersonalization. I'm going to argue and say you do have a soul, maybe it's just buried among the rubble and needs to be dug out.

 

[Aplev]

Hey bud, I can kind of understand that.
Would you say you're feeling detached from your body/shell? It sounds like something (I'm no expert) but it sounds like depersonalization. I'm going to argue and say you do have a soul, maybe it's just buried among the rubble and needs to be dug out.

Yes, fortunately or unfortunately I'm familiar with the terms. It's another label, but for the sake of clarity in communication, we could call it depersonalization. I tried not to for a while. But I'm finding it the least worst option nowadays.

Oh no... I'm in the roller coaster again. The whirlpool. The storm. The overwhelmedness. The rainbow. Many names. It's due to states like these that I just numb and... someone takes over.
(before I vanish for a while, I'll say some people call this a DID response to trauma stimuli, which numbs one personality and brings another one.)

 

[Average Joe]

Yes, fortunately or unfortunately I'm familiar with the terms. It's another label, but for the sake of clarity in communication, we could call it depersonalization. I tried not to for a while. But I'm finding it the least worst option nowadays.

Oh no... I'm in the roller coaster again. The whirlpool. The storm. The overwhelmedness. The rainbow. Many names. It's due to states like these that I just numb and... someone takes over.
(before I vanish for a while, I'll say some people call this a DID response to trauma stimuli, which numbs one personality and brings another one.)

I'm truly sorry to hear that, I couldn't imagine the pain and problems that brings you. Do you think your brain is trying to be numb to avoid extra pain?

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

My opinion is society in general has no idea what the phrase "mental health" even means. Between the powers of politics and corporations, it's difficult to have a meaningful discussion on anything that really matters. They pick up random causes that will get them political power or money, and kick it around like a ball in a game, instead of actually helping anyone. I think things that are actually normal and valuable are sometimes considered things-to-cure, and things that really need curing are either not profitable enough to pursue or simply needs more time to figure out. About no responses to posts... a lot of times I read in silence and just let it be, not wanting to cloud the expression with my own useless additions. I saw your post earlier and nodded in agreement, which of course you had no way of seeing.

 

[Aplev]

I'm truly sorry to hear that, I couldn't imagine the pain and problems that brings you. Do you think your brain is trying to be numb to avoid extra pain?

Why do you ask? You're starting to sound either like you're trying to help, or are curious about what I feel (maybe both).

My opinion is society in general has no idea what the phrase "mental health" even means. Between the powers of politics and corporations, it's difficult to have a meaningful discussion on anything that really matters. They pick up random causes that will get them political power or money, and kick it around like a ball in a game, instead of actually helping anyone. I think things that are actually normal and valuable are sometimes considered things-to-cure, and things that really need curing are either not profitable enough to pursue or simply needs more time to figure out. About no responses to posts... a lot of times I read in silence and just let it be, not wanting to cloud the expression with my own useless additions. I saw your post earlier and nodded in agreement, which of course you had no way of seeing.

I agree. "Mental health" is another means of business to a lot of people. And to some others, it's "just" chemical reactions. I recently had a "friend" (not sure what to call them now... we distanced ourselves for a while after he said this and other very offensive stuff, he called me very horrible things I'd rather not remember now, though I understand his situation is not good either... well time will tell) call it that. I couldn't believe it. All my trauma, all my pain, all my feelings, all my mental pictures, all I've read and thoroughly researched, all my wounds, all my perceptions, all my experiences... all reduced to "just" chemical reactions?

Well, the world is "just" atoms together. Might be technically true, but that's besides the point. You just can't oversimplify like this. You just can't.

I appreciate you letting me know. It seems with the recent conversations, it caught people's attention quite a lot more.
(added: though whenever this happens, I fear I'll get so much attention, that some people here will start criticizing me and talking bad about me... I know that has happened here sadly, though usually with people that post daily or almost daily.)

Now it's full of reactions. Yay.

 

[Average Joe]

Why do you ask? You're starting to sound either like you're trying to help, or are curious about what I feel (maybe both).

To be honest it's a mixture of both. I ask because I care about you, I'm also really interested to know how you're feeling.
I'm hoping that my questions prompt you to open up and continue to chat with us.

I'm not pro life or pro choice, I just want to understand how're your feeling.
It's in my human nature to try and help. I do apologise if this is beginning to make you feel uncomfortable and I'll stop asking questions.

I do wish you the best and I hope you find peace at some point.

 

[Aplev]

To be honest it's a mixture of both. I ask because I care about you, I'm also really interested to know how you're feeling.
I'm hoping that my questions prompt you to open up and continue to chat with us.

I'm not pro life or pro choice, I just want to understand how're your feeling.
It's in my human nature to try and help. I do apologise if this is beginning to make you feel uncomfortable and I'll stop asking questions.

I do wish you the best and I hope you find peace at some point.

How do you feel about continuing via PM? What makes me uncomfortable is not the question per se, but extending the thread. Mods probably don't care? But I still wouldn't like to be most of it about us exchanging messages/having conversations of all kinds of topics.

 

[Average Joe]

How do you feel about continuing via PM? What makes me uncomfortable is not the question per se, but extending the thread. Mods probably don't care? But I still wouldn't like to be most of it about us exchanging messages/having conversations of all kinds of topics.

That's perfectly fine with me! I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that I care about you and your mental health, this is your space and we can choose here or PM. It's completely up to you.

Feel free to continue this topic in PM, or just message me with a rant or vent about your day or a topic that you'd like to chat about. I'm not a psychologist or AI but I've got a heart and I'll listen to you my brother <3

 

[Worndown]

Most people care about mental health. Few can manage the complexity.
It is expensive, that angers those who are greedy.
Like sexual orientation, many prefer not to go there at all. Fear they might be a little ill? Don't ask and it does not exist?

 

[Aplev]

That's perfectly fine with me! I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that I care about you and your mental health, this is your space and we can choose here or PM. It's completely up to you.

Feel free to continue this topic in PM, or just message me with a rant or vent about your day or a topic that you'd like to chat about. I'm not a psychologist or AI but I've got a heart and I'll listen to you my brother <3

Sent

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

Society only cares about mental health because it costs a lot to society if they wouldn't. If a suicide wouldn't come at a cost to the state, nothing would be done. Thinking any government cares about people who unalives themselves out of moral reasons is delusional. It's all about the money and getting you back to work as soon as possible.

 

[Aplev]

Society only cares about mental health because it costs a lot to society if they wouldn't. If a suicide wouldn't come at a cost to the state, nothing would be done. Thinking any government cares about people who unalives themselves out of moral reasons is delusional. It's all about the money and getting you back to work as soon as possible.

And that's the reason why their "care" only limits to useless displays such as "We can help! Contact this and that", "Seek professional help", they only care about the bare minimum so that when someone says "nobody cares" they say "of course we do!" and that gives them good reputation to majority of people who vote for them and stuff, and basically they keep their money and power.
(edit: some companies are even using AI for "mental health", which is just as useless.)

 

[whatishope]

Oh me too. I'm glad at least some people realize what a big, stupid, clowny joke it is. So-called enlightened people: "be stoic, be direct, express yourself, never ghost anybody, always talk things through!". Also so-called enlightened people: *ghosts you, blocks you, never say a thing about how they feel, avoid difficult topics like suicide, they have terrible relationships and many of them ended in bad terms*. Truth is, they as well want to feed and boost their ego and feel like some sort of hero and superperson. We all do. But really. So much hypocrisy.
(There's also the money aspect of course. "MH awareness" sells. And it sells *good*. Yup that's right. They're making money out of people's sickness. Oh people are now feeling even more sick than before they bought on this "MH awareness" nonsense? That doesn't have anything to do with money. Oh! But we could sell them even more of it to get even more money! Money money money! Power power power! Now *that* is interesting! Like seriously. They couldn't care less. Literally.)

I'd like to add my two cents to this one. I have dealt with a lot of shit from people during my life, and I spent a lot of time struggling to make sense of it. I've come up with an interesting idea I'd like to share here.

I genuinely think that people hold themselves to completely different standards then they do other people. I don't mean this in a light way, I mean at a fundamental level. There are two types of people "them" and "not them". There are many subtle hints about this in common wisdom and a lot of internet memes as well. A good example that comes to mind is a joke about driving: "Everyone driving faster then me is a maniac, and everyone driving slower then me is holding up traffic.". Similarly, "when some else cuts you off, they're a jakass, but when you cut someone off, it was 'reasonable'". The point is, everyone things people should behave a certain way, and then they think they should behave in a completely different way. I've heard this being called main character syndrome, which would be an extreme case of this.

It's why people say "don't ghost anyone", and then proceed to ghost you. They don't see it as ghosting, they see it as distancing themselves for X and Y reason. It's why people people say always be good and then proceed to hurt people on a day to day basis. There is a distinction between "people interacting with me" and "me interacting with people". The direction of the arrow determines the rules of the interaction.

Back to the mental health thing. This is why I think MH awareness is such a joke. Everyone agrees that mental health is important, and should be taken seriously, but, in practice, most people only implement this in the "me interacting with people" part, or, "other people should care about my mental health". They skip out on the "I should care about other people's mental health" part.

 

[Aplev]

I'd like to add my two cents to this one. I have dealt with a lot of shit from people during my life, and I spent a lot of time struggling to make sense of it. I've come up with an interesting idea I'd like to share here.

I genuinely think that people hold themselves to completely different standards then they do other people. I don't mean this in a light way, I mean at a fundamental level. There are two types of people "them" and "not them". There are many subtle hints about this in common wisdom and a lot of internet memes as well. A good example that comes to mind is a joke about driving: "Everyone driving faster then me is a maniac, and everyone driving slower then me is holding up traffic.". Similarly, "when some else cuts you off, they're a jakass, but when you cut someone off, it was 'reasonable'". The point is, everyone things people should behave a certain way, and then they think they should behave in a completely different way. I've heard this being called main character syndrome, which would be an extreme case of this.

It's why people say "don't ghost anyone", and then proceed to ghost you. They don't see it as ghosting, they see it as distancing themselves for X and Y reason. It's why people people say always be good and then proceed to hurt people on a day to day basis. There is a distinction between "people interacting with me" and "me interacting with people". The direction of the arrow determines the rules of the interaction.

Back to the mental health thing. This is why I think MH awareness is such a joke. Everyone agrees that mental health is important, and should be taken seriously, but, in practice, most people only implement this in the "me interacting with people" part, or, "other people should care about my mental health". They skip out on the "I should care about other people's mental health" part.

Yeah, I've seen it happen quite the number of times. Funny thing is I sort of always knew it, ever since I was like just a few years old. But maybe because most people around me thought of me as 'just a stupid kid' I really didn't believe myself. Very interesting that as I grew up, most of these observations turned out to be true and extremely accurate.
(Also I've seen what you referred to as main character syndrome being called having double standards too, one standard for them, another standard for me.)

I also think it's related to this idea of creating a positive and reputable image of yourself. No one wants to be seen as a bad, unreliable person. We all want to look good and "do what's right", "to speak up and stand up to do the right thing". Whatever happens behind closed doors is an entirely different story.

It would seem more people than we think have struggled a significant part of their lives trying to make sense of people's behaviors and the ways of the world.