It is the most important phase in our lives, where our innocence is present.
I've lived through a very bad childhood and i remember every single detail of it
Most people use this phrase a lot ''Suicide is a solution to temporary problems'', your childhood is a permanent part of yourself, if you had a bad one it's forever carved in your brain and it still stings to me to this day when i remember the things that were done or happened to me, i was shown no love from my parents i used to get beaten up by both my mother and father from the age of 6 to 15, when i entered my late teens they told me ''you're grown now we can't hit you it will be embarrassing''. I don't come from a poor family either it's just that i happened to be born into a family of piece of shits. I never cared for the money or the dinners they got me after abusing me, my siblings have never cared about me either in fact they got more love than i ever did.
School was the worst place, it felt like hell i was bullied and targeted by my classmates even boys from the upper grades even jumped or others trying to fight me and slap me.
The worst experience which i am still ashamed about is when i was groped and sexually assaulted by my classmates they used to make sexual comments about my body as well, i rarely tell people this because as a man i always felt like it threatened my masculinity i got stomped really hard in the face one time you can think of all abuses that can happen to a child and most of it has probably happened to me.
In the neighborhood or the playgrounds, other boys wouldn't even play with me, some girls who felt bad for me because of that used to play with me and i still remember each of them, they've moved on their lives all grown up they don't remember me but i will always remember them.
For me this is not a temporary problem, it is permanent trauma and damage that i can only tell anonymously it's ruined my whole life, it sucks and hurts to be alive i wanted to get revenge on every single one of them but it's too late for that now. I've grown into a very hateful miserable person because of this and i will forever despise whoever tells me that i can still cope through it or improve myself because what's happened is what happened and i can't & couldn't do anything about it.
I just wanted to get this off my chest, thank you if you read this,
I've lived through a very bad childhood and i remember every single detail of it
Most people use this phrase a lot ''Suicide is a solution to temporary problems'', your childhood is a permanent part of yourself, if you had a bad one it's forever carved in your brain and it still stings to me to this day when i remember the things that were done or happened to me, i was shown no love from my parents i used to get beaten up by both my mother and father from the age of 6 to 15, when i entered my late teens they told me ''you're grown now we can't hit you it will be embarrassing''. I don't come from a poor family either it's just that i happened to be born into a family of piece of shits. I never cared for the money or the dinners they got me after abusing me, my siblings have never cared about me either in fact they got more love than i ever did.
School was the worst place, it felt like hell i was bullied and targeted by my classmates even boys from the upper grades even jumped or others trying to fight me and slap me.
The worst experience which i am still ashamed about is when i was groped and sexually assaulted by my classmates they used to make sexual comments about my body as well, i rarely tell people this because as a man i always felt like it threatened my masculinity i got stomped really hard in the face one time you can think of all abuses that can happen to a child and most of it has probably happened to me.
In the neighborhood or the playgrounds, other boys wouldn't even play with me, some girls who felt bad for me because of that used to play with me and i still remember each of them, they've moved on their lives all grown up they don't remember me but i will always remember them.
For me this is not a temporary problem, it is permanent trauma and damage that i can only tell anonymously it's ruined my whole life, it sucks and hurts to be alive i wanted to get revenge on every single one of them but it's too late for that now. I've grown into a very hateful miserable person because of this and i will forever despise whoever tells me that i can still cope through it or improve myself because what's happened is what happened and i can't & couldn't do anything about it.
I just wanted to get this off my chest, thank you if you read this,
