CBT this week; goodbye thread

[OzymandiAsh]

I am hoping to CTB using this method, this week. I can't pin down an exact day yet cos I am still finalising one thing, but it will almost certainly be this week.

It's been a pleasure to be part of this community for a short while, I see some threads criticising SaSu but honestly I am really grateful, you are a great bunch of people and this is one of the most compassionate places on the internet I think. Also the information is super useful and has probably saved me from making riskier and more painful attempts.

Thanks! As much as suicide can be a sad occasion, in my case I consider it more a cause for celebration - I believe I will go to a better place, and that my suffering in this one will finally end. I struggled for years with a neurological condition (FND) and chronic trauma, depression and stress. Maybe it sounds pretty grim but I'm actually pretty excited, I can hardly wait lol

My chosen method (using an exercise band and a wooden spatula as a turning handle) will almost certainly work, but if not I will move on to more conventional ligature strangulation with a thin rope. I will post if my primary method was unsuccessful, otherwise please assume I was successful.

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[fruitninjamaster]

Congratulations on this time of celebration in your life, we enjoyed having you here, please keep us updated and let me know if I can support you

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[dalemar]

I really hope you can get rid of your suffering. FND and all those conditions are terrible. Sending you love!

 

[Xi-Xi]

I really hope you find your freedom, and the bus ride is smooth. Even though I will miss you quite a bit, since you were one of the first to welcome me into the forum, I also wouldn't want you to suffer. Please be safe and clean.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Thanks for the kind messages all :)

I have finalised everything and should be ready to go in the next few hours. Drinking some homemade mulled wine, feeling relaxed.

Assuming I'm successful, bye guys, it's been a privilege :)

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Wishing you peace either way

 

[OzymandiAsh]

My main method (with exercise band) was sadly unsuccessful, as I've updated the post linked in the OP here, and I am too tired for now. I will get some rest and try classic ligature strangulation later with a thin rope and black bin bag over my head. If that still somehow doesn't work, I guess I'll be getting cable ties.

 

[Dawnfang11]

My main method (with exercise band) was sadly unsuccessful, as I've updated the post linked in the OP here, and I am too tired for now. I will get some rest and try classic ligature strangulation later with a thin rope and black bin bag over my head. If that still somehow doesn't work, I guess I'll be getting cable ties.

Wishing you better luck with your backup method
Hope you get your peace o7

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Thanks for the kind messages all :)

I have finalised everything and should be ready to go in the next few hours. Drinking some homemade mulled wine, feeling relaxed.

Assuming I'm successful, bye guys, it's been a privilege :)

Take care and I hope your last moments are peaceful <3

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I've adjusted my method slightly (updated the thread) and think I'm ready to try again now. Bye all! Wish me luck :)

Edit: Okay nope, still unsuccessful, getting an unbearable exploding head feeling which you're apparently not supposed to get. Sigh. Will have to try partial hanging next I guess.

 

[taker_of_insulin]

I've adjusted my method slightly (updated the thread) and think I'm ready to try again now. Bye all! Wish me luck :)

Edit: Okay nope, still unsuccessful, getting an unbearable exploding head feeling which you're apparently not supposed to get. Sigh. Will have to try partial hanging next I guess.

Good luck, friend. Hope you find relief

 

[OzymandiAsh]

"After my attempts at ligature strangulation and partial failed recently (mostly due to exploding head feeling and inability to pass out (maybe a thick neck), also pain caused by very thin rope), my next attempt will be a 1500mg codeine OD with alcohol to potentiate the codeine. I'll drink as much as I can of a big Hennessey bottle beforehand. I'll also take 40mg of meto about 40 minutes before to decrease any vomiting risk. Also, I will snort as much of the codeine as possible, to increase bioavailability and conversion into morphine, the rest I will take orally."

I'm set to attempt this either later today/tonight or later in the week. I want to CTB by the end of the month.

As before, if no more posts/logging in, assume I was successful :)

 

[dalemar]

"After my attempts at ligature strangulation and partial failed recently (mostly due to exploding head feeling and inability to pass out (maybe a thick neck), also pain caused by very thin rope), my next attempt will be a 1500mg codeine OD with alcohol to potentiate the codeine. I'll drink as much as I can of a big Hennessey bottle beforehand. I'll also take 40mg of meto about 40 minutes before to decrease any vomiting risk. Also, I will snort as much of the codeine as possible, to increase bioavailability and conversion into morphine, the rest I will take orally."

I'm set to attempt this either later today/tonight or later in the week. I want to CTB by the end of the month.

As before, if no more posts/logging in, assume I was successful :)

If that's your will, I wish you all the best!

 

[OzymandiAsh]

ANOTHER FAILED ATTEMPT

I saw a post that recommended getting really plastered beforehand, so that's what I did... unfortunately I am so drunk right now I can hardly even coordinate myself enough to snort the codeine. I'm really sad about this, and terrified that either I might be too cowardly to actually CTB or just that it might be much harder than I thought, as nothing seems to go to plan. I consumed 50mg of meto but didn't consume any codeine yet, as I'm so drunk I don't think I could even snort enough or pop the pills out properly if I tried. This attempt might have to be aborted sadly. In future if I attempt this again I will have to get drunk after consuming the codeine, not before.

 

[dalemar]

ANOTHER FAILED ATTEMPT

I saw a post that recommended getting really plastered beforehand, so that's what I did... unfortunately I am so drunk right now I can hardly even coordinate myself enough to snort the codeine. I'm really sad about this, and terrified that either I might be too cowardly to actually CTB or just that it might be much harder than I thought, as nothing seems to go to plan. I consumed 50mg of meto but didn't consume any codeine yet, as I'm so drunk I don't think I could even snort enough or pop the pills out properly if I tried. This attempt might have to be aborted sadly. In future if I attempt this again I will have to get drunk after consuming the codeine, not before.

I wish you a speedy recover.
Try to get something for the hangover.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Note to self... bad idea to follow up meto with a lot of alcohol... now you want to throw up the alc but you can't...

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Managed to sleep it off and woke up 4 hours later, feeling calm and not too bad. Honestly I felt just as determined to CTB once I woke up, which I feel is a good sign. I was even thinking about reattempting tonight but I don't feel like I have the physical strength to snort all the codeine right now. Probably will try again later in the week.

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Managed to sleep it off and woke up 4 hours later, feeling calm and not too bad. Honestly I felt just as determined to CTB once I woke up, which I feel is a good sign. I was even thinking about reattempting tonight but I don't feel like I have the physical strength to snort all the codeine right now. Probably will try again later in the week.

Man, this is a good showcase how hard it can be to actually CTB, and also how some people just don't regret it as is all too often touted in media — me being one of them as well, when my CTB failed at the time.

Do hope you can get your peace eventually.

 

[Jello Biafra]

Managed to sleep it off and woke up 4 hours later, feeling calm and not too bad. Honestly I felt just as determined to CTB once I woke up, which I feel is a good sign. I was even thinking about reattempting tonight but I don't feel like I have the physical strength to snort all the codeine right now. Probably will try again later in the week.

Did you pass out from the codiene/alcohol combination?

If so, there is a really easy way to ctb as long as you lose consciousness.

You allude to it in post #9 of this thread and the second to last sentence (not referring to the zip ties but the other element).

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Did you pass out from the codiene/alcohol combination?

If so, there is a really easy way to ctb as long as you lose consciousness.

You allude to it in post #9 of this thread and the second to last sentence (not referring to the zip ties but the other element).

No, just took a nap. And I didn't take any of the codeine yet. I basically got so drunk that I couldn't even coordinate myself to snort the codeine. (I've never been much of a drinker, it felt terrible.)

 

[rabbitjack]

Are you still here?

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Are you still here?

Sadly, yes. I was going to continue with the codeine/alcohol OD tomorrow, but someone on here who seems to know what they're talking about doesn't think it will work. Now I am not even sure if it's worth trying.

 

[rabbitjack]

Sadly, yes. I was going to continue with the codeine/alcohol OD tomorrow, but someone on here who seems to know what they're talking about doesn't think it will work. Now I am not even sure if it's worth trying.

I think they're right...the LD50 for many medications is very high so you'll need a very large amount.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I think they're right...the LD50 for many medications is very high so you'll need a very large amount.

I really wanted to CTB before my birthday at the end of this month. And all things considered I think there is a fair chance this will work. So it's worth a shot... I will probably attempt it in the next few days.

 

[rabbitjack]

I really wanted to CTB before my birthday at the end of this month. And all things considered I think there is a fair chance this will work. So it's worth a shot... I will probably attempt it in the next few days.

How much codeine and alcohol were you thinking of taking?

 

[OzymandiAsh]

How much codeine and alcohol were you thinking of taking?

1500mg and as much alcohol as I can stomach on the meto. Like a third to a half of a normal Hennessy bottle probably.

 

[rabbitjack]

1500mg and as much alcohol as I can stomach on the meto. Like a third to a half of a normal Hennessy bottle probably.

Are you taking the codeine+paracetamol tablets? Or do you have pure codeine? Because paracetamol will affect the toxicity and vomiting

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Are you taking the codeine+paracetamol tablets? Or do you have pure codeine? Because paracetamol will affect the toxicity and vomiting

Pure codeine.