Sorry if I was confusing. I was basically housebound except for going to mass and it was helping and then I got so deeply depressed that I stopped and was totally housebound. Now I try to force myself. Its the only time I leave the house. But I do feel guilty about some things, like my desire to ctb. I hope you find a priest you can talk to.
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I am a protestant that I don't know appreciates Catholicism. I have been to mass quite a few times though. I have written about religion (Christianity) on here before. I am not a big believer in prayer. While beautiful things have been said about it. I don't really believe it moves the needle in life. I don't think it's really a genie you can rub and have your wishes come true. The descriptions frustrate me. It's basically wait there and see what god says. Like aren't you describing delusions, thought insertion. Like studies have shown it is not effective. I think you are just doing what you want to do. How do you know when it's god or just you. Like thinking about Jesus/God is great. You should he is the standard of good. So yeah it's objectively good so I can see it's point. Prayer I don't believe in I think it's a circular concept the more you pray the more you believe the more you pray supported by the law of large numbers with the belief being believing in the ultimate good. Does God talk/argue back or are you just arguing/talking with yourself? So when you say my life got better I am not surprised. Where's the proof that prayer works? Yes I have tried. Maybe I lack whatever every other Christian has.
In terms of church. I think having a community is a good thing. That said I don't find Christians to be a particularly good community. My treatment by 'Christians" has been worse than non-Christians in life. In my times of need they haven't been there for me. Despite asking. To be honest my view of Christians is pretty negative. Part of my issue with the Vatican is while I understand the need I guess to i don't know to have a gilded city on the hill in the middle and dark ages now? They have a treasury in the tens of billions. The religion that talks about the woman who gave everything she had and touts that. Why aren't they spending everything to evangelize. On the flip side once you are in the church I don't feel like the church really cares. I think they do more to get you there then to keep you there. In essence I don't believe in the church or prayer. I do believe in Jesus/God and the bible.
So I can't say I am surprised. Would love to continue this conversation it is interesting.
hazelmoon
Member
- Nov 1, 2023
- 11
Im Catholic!! Born and raised. We used to go as a whole family but as I grew up, my family started losing faith. After I graduated high school my mom stopped believing altogether, which still breaks my heart to this day. I would kill to go to mass again and feel like a part of something but my horrible social anxiety makes it almost impossible to go alone and my mom refuses to even speak about Jesus, much less go to church. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere. When I was in catholic school, one of my classmates asked why you go to hell for killing yourself. My teachers and priest said that's an ancient myth, and that God would not punish people for being sick. God recognizes that people who commit suicide are just sick. The only sin that is unforgivable is blasphemy. I hope you find purpose again though, so you don't have to worry about that. Sending love
I am a lukewarm Christian (Protestant) and in another thread in this forum, I talked about how I went from Christian to Atheist to Christian to New Age and now Spiritually lost. However, the notion of "letting go" has helped bring me peace. Ironically, letting go can also mean letting go of the will to live, which often crosses my mind. here's the thing, I agree with your belief that we chose to incarnate here in a certain body and purpose. I also agree that suicide will mean we don't finish what we set out to accomplish. The new ager in me further believes that if we do choose to end our life, we will have to come back and repeat it or a similar version of it. So, I don't want that to happen. This is literally the only belief that keeps me going. I really don't want to come back and relive this life. No way.
Like you, I hardly ever leave the house. Just to go to work. I am also miserable and part of that is because I don't get out much. It's a catch 22. I find that going for a 3 mile walk almost daily helps clear the mind. I started listening to Gregorian chanting to help me too. It's helped me somewhat. I am still searching for answers.
No, no one is going to hell. Not even the really, really bad people. The church's threats of "going to hell" are just a mechanism to control people and subvert them to obedience. A loving, compassionate deity doesn't want that for any of us. You are a good person. I can tell. I don't think your life is a waste even though I don't know you. Even a simple act like holding the door open for someone goes a long way.
Now, if you were one of those people in Philly addicted to tranq or fentanyl that lives like a zombie, then I'd say maybe your life is close to being a waste and only a miracle can save you... but I digress.
Here is a Bible verse that is powerful and helps bring me peace and I hope it brings you comfort too:
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
— Psalm 23:4
To begin with, from a Christian perspective, sewer slide is a sin as it is murdering oneself~ But even tho it may very well be the last thing a person does in their life, it is not described as an "unforgivable sin" that bars one from Heaven regardless of the possible impossibility of repenting of it~
From a Protestant perspective, one is saved by their faith in God, His sacrifice on the cross for our sins, and our doing our best to follow Him~ As such, we will trip, fall, and make mistakes (including perhaps, committing sewer slide)~ While we won't know who goes to Heaven for certain until we get there, people who commit sewer slide certainly aren't all doomed to Hell~ Those who have faith in God in spite of their struggles with sin will almost certainly go to Heaven as everyone struggles with it after all~ :)
I'm sure God understands that many times, it is the result of the despair, hopelessness, and pain one experiences in their life and things looking ever bleaker~ :)
I have nothing to back this up, but I plan on praying throughout the process of passing~ :)
I like @Little_Suzy's explanation for Catholic beliefs on sewer slide the best personally~ "The Catechism states, "Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide." This qualification does not make suicide a right action in any circumstance; however, it does make us realize that the person may not be totally culpable for the action because of various circumstances or personal conditions.
We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives."
I would very much recommend reading Romans 3 or at least, Romans 3:19-28. Within Christianity, everyone has sinned and falls short of what God wants us to be: perfect. No one has been able to live fully up to God except Jesus Christ because He is God~ As such, we deserve destruction, for that is the punishment for sin. It may not feel very good, and it may even feel hateful~ The Christian God is not hateful tho~ In fact, God loved us so much that He sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins, so that if we have faith in Him, we may get to be with Him in Heaven~ :) even when we are Christians, we are still sinners~ however, through the power of the Holy Spirit, God guides us to become better people and followers of Him~ we still will mess up and won't be perfecet, but we can repent and do our best not to sin, and God will accept us for what we are as long as we have faith in Him~ :)
very simply, the Gospel message is: sin->Jesus died for us->redemption. even tho being exposed to our own sins may be uncomfy, it is important to recognize how we may do better~ :)
In regards to that sermon you brought up, admittedly, I didn't read it, however, there are entire books of the Bible dedicated to sorrow such as Lamentations and Job, so even tho joy may be a fruit, one may also go through times of sorrow as many people do here too~ :)
hehe~ I hope you're able to talk to them and learn lots from them there! ^_^ you can always ask me or someone else who is Catholic here if you have questions too! :)
while I would recommend continuing to learn more about the Catholic faith and deepening it (this does not necessarily have to be before you first commune tho), according to Catholic Answers, no, you do not need to go to RCIA to receive first communion given that you were already baptized Catholic. :)
Must I Go through RCIA to Join the Church If I Am Already Baptized?
RCIA is a class for converts who have not been initiated into the Church. Fallen-away Catholics do not need RCIA to rejoin the Church. Click to read more.www.catholic.com
I totally don't want to have to come back and do this again either. Who knows if I'd be worse off. Scary thought.
I can understand losing the will to live, though that's not really my problem. I want to live, just not like this. I think I have too strong of a will, and when things don't go my way, I can't let go. Ctb requires willpower because it's not a passive act, so it could work in my favor.
silentcicada
Silhouettes on the ceiling
- Aug 2, 2023
- 136
Catechism 2283: We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.
I know it's hard, but remember you're doing all you can given the circumstances.
I do relate, though. The only time I leave my house is to go to work, and I can't even do that correctly.
I know it's hard, but remember you're doing all you can given the circumstances.
I do relate, though. The only time I leave my house is to go to work, and I can't even do that correctly.ב''ה,
Ugh, I don't want to wade in, yet maybe I'm sort of obligated and it's true: if you're going to mess with Catholicism you might as well just mess with Judaism, because pretty much everything in it is a dunk on Judaism, including the no divorce in Catholicism (but all the gay sex and choirboys you want!), no abortion for the same reason, the doctrine of suffering and martyrdom, preservation of 'original sin' when whether Genesis should ever be read that way G-d forgives after a certain number of generations..
It starts making the tangled mess of Jewish law look good. And, Divine Comedy, that's what it was designed for. "You can do this until you get sick of it and go looking for G-d."
Then as miraculously as Jewish texts and thought *are* preserved, be prepared for headaches (as may not make sense unless you're from Judaism culturally), but the paradox is as much as the Temple hardly lasted the first 2(.5?) times, there's some peculiar 'fire hot, water wet' sort of ethical truth and logic even if half of it is a vaguely Babylonian parade of sacrifices to thank G-d He gave us animals to eat and sacrifice instead of each other.
I sometimes miss when I was a mall buddhist hippie to try to get out of all that, but reincarnation is actually more horrifying.
Ugh, I don't want to wade in, yet maybe I'm sort of obligated and it's true: if you're going to mess with Catholicism you might as well just mess with Judaism, because pretty much everything in it is a dunk on Judaism, including the no divorce in Catholicism (but all the gay sex and choirboys you want!), no abortion for the same reason, the doctrine of suffering and martyrdom, preservation of 'original sin' when whether Genesis should ever be read that way G-d forgives after a certain number of generations..
It starts making the tangled mess of Jewish law look good. And, Divine Comedy, that's what it was designed for. "You can do this until you get sick of it and go looking for G-d."
Then as miraculously as Jewish texts and thought *are* preserved, be prepared for headaches (as may not make sense unless you're from Judaism culturally), but the paradox is as much as the Temple hardly lasted the first 2(.5?) times, there's some peculiar 'fire hot, water wet' sort of ethical truth and logic even if half of it is a vaguely Babylonian parade of sacrifices to thank G-d He gave us animals to eat and sacrifice instead of each other.
I sometimes miss when I was a mall buddhist hippie to try to get out of all that, but reincarnation is actually more horrifying.
Secrets1
Specialist
- Nov 18, 2019
- 375
Raised in big catholic family. Used to deal w this existential crisis, fear of hell, judgement, etc. HARD.
What cured me of the crippling stress was researching history to learn more and try to understand the hypocritical, contradictory aspects of the religion. I learned the Bible is no different than current day legislation… pieces of text assembled, picked & chosen, negotiated by a group of ordinary men who are power brokers in control. Having that understanding let me see through the bs, not get hung up on specific text that is inherently controlling (such as you must have faith or go to hell) and contradicts main tenets of what Jesus himself stood for.
In that sense, if the Bible has any real legitimacy in the bigger picture, I see it as a litmus test for people to recognize what is truly Christ-like instead of getting hung up on writings created by ordinary people which don't vibe with much of the theory, and are clearly about controlling the population. We see it occurring through US Christian Nationalism now & has 0 to do with authentically following in the footsteps of Jesus to create a better world for all. Once the rub became impossible to ignore I stopped taking it seriously and all the religious based stress dissipated. It was so freeing. In practicing christianity my soul was a prisoner, not my kindest self to the world because judgement was always in the back of my mind.
What cured me of the crippling stress was researching history to learn more and try to understand the hypocritical, contradictory aspects of the religion. I learned the Bible is no different than current day legislation… pieces of text assembled, picked & chosen, negotiated by a group of ordinary men who are power brokers in control. Having that understanding let me see through the bs, not get hung up on specific text that is inherently controlling (such as you must have faith or go to hell) and contradicts main tenets of what Jesus himself stood for.
In that sense, if the Bible has any real legitimacy in the bigger picture, I see it as a litmus test for people to recognize what is truly Christ-like instead of getting hung up on writings created by ordinary people which don't vibe with much of the theory, and are clearly about controlling the population. We see it occurring through US Christian Nationalism now & has 0 to do with authentically following in the footsteps of Jesus to create a better world for all. Once the rub became impossible to ignore I stopped taking it seriously and all the religious based stress dissipated. It was so freeing. In practicing christianity my soul was a prisoner, not my kindest self to the world because judgement was always in the back of my mind.
qualityOV3Rquantity
Experienced
- Jul 27, 2024
- 259
I'm not a Catholic nor do I understand all the beliefs or culture that comes with being Catholic. But I am a Christian and I wanted to speak specifically to this.
It's true that you aren't a good enough person, but this isn't unique to you. All of us are in the same situation, we all deserve to be thrown away by God. But God, out of love for us and because our situation was hopeless, came to Earth in the form of Jesus so die for us, to suffer the punishment that we ourselves deserved. Through believing in Him and His sacrifice for us, we can become pure in the eyes of God, and attain a salvation that we don't deserve.
I know it's not quite the same, but Paul felt similar feelings. "I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far" (Philippians 1:23). Certainly, Paul's situation was different than ours, as our desire to die comes mostly from the great pain of this life, while Paul ultimately concluded God wants him to live to further the gospel. But to want to die and be with Jesus, or (I think) even to want to die just to leave behind the pain and disappointments of this life is not a sin in of itself.
One comfort I take from my faith is that someone will eventually tell me "it's okay, it's over now." It will be God Himself at the hour of my death, whether it is from illness in my 80s or a car crash in my 20s. But regardless of the circumstances, I can be sure it will happen, that this earthly trial will not last forever, and that eventually God will bring my trial to an end.
I'm not trying to be rude or upset anyone , but I'm an atheist because Jesus didn't fulfill a single prophecy from old testament and I don't believe he resurrected or died for our sins .
EternalShore
Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
- Jun 9, 2023
- 1,348
That is a very sweet post, and I very much liked it~ :) thanks for sharing~ hehe~
don't worry, the membership here shifts around a lot for obvious reasons but from a poll about a year or 2 ago, 75% of people don't believe in God and 87% don't believe in Christianity, so you're in the majority in the regard~ :) anyways, you might believe that Jesus didn't fulfill a few prophesies, but saying that Jesus didn't fulfill a single prophecy whatsoever is rather ridiculous~
His genealogy clearly lists him as being ethnically Jewish, being from the tribe of Judah, and being a descendent of Kings David and Solomon, meaning that He already fulfills a few prophecies right there~ >_<
Paizen
Student
- Feb 5, 2025
- 107
yeah
the thing is that suicide is not a sin in the Bible- suicide is sort of the gruesome end result of a horrible sin (see: Judas)
Personally, I think about suicide daily because I hate the world and I hate my mother, but I love Jesus of the Bible and especially the things he says and does
I don't know about forgiveness of suicide. I think you just have to live your life the best you can, and if you die you die
I think if I ever become homeless or very close to starving to death, going weeks without food involuntarily, or if you are suffering from a grievous illness, then that's not suicide, that's euthanasia, and that's a bit more complicated. I'm not sure it has much to do with "forgiveness"
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He's not the descendant of David because Joseph isn't he's biological father , many lived in Judea , the Messiah is supposed to rule forever and bring eternal peace which Jesus didn't do , I also used to believe Jesus was the Messiah, but when I researched about it , the prophecies that the gospel writers say he fulfilled either they don't talk about the Messiah or they talk about Israel , and the writers take passage out of context, you can watch deconstrution zone or rabbi tuvia singer on YouTube .That is a very sweet post, and I very much liked it~ :) thanks for sharing~ hehe~
don't worry, the membership here shifts around a lot for obvious reasons but from a poll about a year or 2 ago, 75% of people don't believe in God and 87% don't believe in Christianity, so you're in the majority in the regard~ :) anyways, you might believe that Jesus didn't fulfill a few prophesies, but saying that Jesus didn't fulfill a single prophecy whatsoever is rather ridiculous~
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