Venting Can’t stop thinking about by attempt going wrong

[silentroom123]

So I'm going to attempt with FSH in the next week or two. I'm very serious about attempting and I plan for this to be my first and only attempt at leaving this planet. But for the life of me I cannot stop thinking about what could go wrong, which I know is normal to think probably. I've done a good amount of preparation I feel, practicing knots, getting the right rope, getting the right rope length, found an anchor point in the backyard, written a suicide knot and directions for the EMTs to get into my backyard without going in the house with my aggressive dog etc. so there has been a lot of prep but I still feel likes it's gunna fail, the anchor point could fail, the rope could break (unlikely), I could be discovered, kicking the chair could make too much noise, my dog could start barking, my mother could wake up and discover me etc.

It's feel like I'm just gunna end up in the psych ward again which would be a nightmare. I want to believe it will go well I just don't know.

Just wanted to get that off my chest as I can't tell anyone else.

Thanks for reading

 

[Maki9]

I wish you the best

 

[simple solution]

may everything go well for you