Lavínia
plalace
- Feb 19, 2024
- 105
Cracks. Smell of ink.
Pasty crystals dictating destinies.
The typist heard my nonsense.
He feels a sadness in his eardrum,
He captures it, the motor energy turns.
Smell of pen, of alcohol,
Of unnatural fixation.
I'm scared.
I'm so scared, maybe the agony,
Despair and pain, are just because of that.
I'm scared, sometimes I want to cry.
Other times I want to kill myself, bury myself,
Before someone else buries me first.
They're going to kill me, they want to kill me.
These words, just that, words
Will make me die, from so much fear.
Today I tried on a new earring, gold
I thought it was pretty, it looked good on me.
I wanted to take care of myself.
To feel like a normal girl,
Without problems, without fear of everything.
Without fear of wearing something, without fear.
Without fear of wearing makeup. Without fear of being raped every fucking day, my god, damn I can't take it Im so scared this wont stop, I don't want to sleep again I don't want to dream about it Ive had enough,I get it. I want to rest want feel peace, want the minimum comfort without having to twist, hold my throat and close my legs tightly. I want to sleep in peace.
I bought some teas, one is imported, I liked it, it's calming but it still has a strong taste, of leaves. I don't want sweet teas, I don't like them. I can't drink, smoke and take benzos to sleep anymore. I'm scared, when will this pass please?
Pasty crystals dictating destinies.
The typist heard my nonsense.
He feels a sadness in his eardrum,
He captures it, the motor energy turns.
Smell of pen, of alcohol,
Of unnatural fixation.
I'm scared.
I'm so scared, maybe the agony,
Despair and pain, are just because of that.
I'm scared, sometimes I want to cry.
Other times I want to kill myself, bury myself,
Before someone else buries me first.
They're going to kill me, they want to kill me.
These words, just that, words
Will make me die, from so much fear.
Today I tried on a new earring, gold
I thought it was pretty, it looked good on me.
I wanted to take care of myself.
To feel like a normal girl,
Without problems, without fear of everything.
Without fear of wearing something, without fear.
Without fear of wearing makeup. Without fear of being raped every fucking day, my god, damn I can't take it Im so scared this wont stop, I don't want to sleep again I don't want to dream about it Ive had enough,I get it. I want to rest want feel peace, want the minimum comfort without having to twist, hold my throat and close my legs tightly. I want to sleep in peace.
I bought some teas, one is imported, I liked it, it's calming but it still has a strong taste, of leaves. I don't want sweet teas, I don't like them. I can't drink, smoke and take benzos to sleep anymore. I'm scared, when will this pass please?
