Can't even make myself try (ctb).

[R_N]

Most of the time I really want to die but I can't make myself to even try. If I had a pill or some easier way that would kill me I would do it.

Can anyone relate? My method is full hanging but I don't have a will power to do it.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

Most of the time I really want to die but I can't make myself to even try. If I had a pill or some easier way that would kill me I would do it.

Can anyone relate? My method is full hanging but I don't have a will power to do it.

Dude. Every day, I lay in bed and visualize ctbing. I picture mixing the SN and drinking it. Or I imagine partial, leaning into it and fading away. I imagine jumping from the top of the parking garage at work. But I also can't seem to pull the trigger. SI sucks.

 

[robin999]

yes i feel the same way

 

[Tearygirl]

I hate my SI too. I tried partial lots of time, and I couldn't find the right place. I'm afraid to try hanging now..

 

[R_N]

At least some people here are trying. I see it all the time but me? -Nah. I can't even make myself buy the rope because I think cable will be fine when I muster the strength. My quality of life is droping but I am still here even tho I would love to end it.

Suicide is such a pain in the a.. I wish it was easier and that we had better methods available to us without all the work.

 

[Astral316]

I'm fairly certain I'm ready to take the SN in a few days. I think it's a combination of thirsting for death along with an overwhelming desire to escape nightmarish circumstances. The latter being the thing that lights a fire under your ass to get it done.

 

[LMLN]

I'm pretty certain I can drink the SN. Other methods that involve some action like jumping or hanging would be pretty tough for me.

 

[Tearygirl]

I'm pretty certain I can drink the SN. Other methods that involve some action like jumping or hanging would be pretty tough for me.

Same. when i reached high place to jump off, i suddenly became afraid so i gave up.

 

[Grandexit]

Maybe you're not ready? Perhaps deep inside you are ready to try some thing more life affirming? Sometimes people have to hit a rock bottom in order to start clawing their way back? Could that be what is going on ?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

When the time is right you won't have any hesitation. It's a tough decision which shouldn't be taken lightly.

 

[R_N]

Maybe you are right but I sure as hell can't see any improvement of my situation in the future. I am hopeless but I still live while my issue is getting worse.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Maybe it's not your time.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm pretty certain I can drink the SN. Other methods that involve some action like jumping or hanging would be pretty tough for me.

Me too. I was mixing some SN days ago and I looked at the glass and felt like drinking it. I thought "I could drink it now and all it's over" ... Wait till you feel comfortable. Or try to improve in your life meanwhile. I am doing that.

 

[Jean4]

Me too. I was mixing some SN days ago and I looked at the glass and felt like drinking it. I thought "I could drink it now and all it's over" ... Wait till you feel comfortable. Or try to improve in your life meanwhile. I am doing that.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stans-guide-to-sn.27535/

 

[R_N]

I feel exactly the same as you. So I understand you. I'm so desperate to die and be gone forever. My everyday life is just me wishing to be dead, but I don't have the courage to do it. I wish suicide was easier, like just having to swallow a powerful pill that kills you in a matter of seconds or instantaneously. Or just having to press on a button (dreaming is free lol let me fantasize a bit).

Chemical methods (SN for example) are my preferred ways to ctb but they are precisely the ones that require money, time, planification, patience... I have time. A lot of time actually. Because I don't study nor I don't have a job but my social anxiety is so extreme so I can't work and have my own money for SN and antiemetics, antacids etc and my parents are at home most of the time so...

Hanging and jumping seem like too hard for me, because the SI is so strong and I'm such a coward for that. The possibility of ending up a vegetable terrifies me. I can't even buy a sturdy rope for hanging anyway so. No method is suitable for me haha...

At least one day it will all be over. The only problem is we have to suffer until it happens. But it will come. Death will come. That makes me feel better a little bit.

 

[LMLN]

Me too. I was mixing some SN days ago and I looked at the glass and felt like drinking it. I thought "I could drink it now and all it's over" ... Wait till you feel comfortable. Or try to improve in your life meanwhile. I am doing that.

I am working on things in the meantime. Mainly just to keep going a bit longer for the sake of my family. But I do think it's just a matter of when, not if for me.