Cant do it

[nextstepdeath]

Screwed up too much. Feeling worse. I drank my body weight in alcohol last night. I can't keep going. All I can feel is pain. Sheer shattering pain. Pain that makes your head snap. Bricks shattering. I just can't do this anymore I can't keep this up. I think I should take all the meds I've got now. My body is still weak from the alcohol, it might be enough. Dont know if I should write a note.

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

Im sorry you're suffering, in so much pain. I wish there was a peaceful exit available to all of us.
But OD on meds is unlikely to work and you very well could still be alive with damage to your organs,
and also find yourself sectioned. I hope you reconsider for now.

 

[nextstepdeath]

Im sorry you're suffering, in so much pain. I wish there was a peaceful exit available to all of us.
But OD on meds is unlikely to work and you very well could still be alive with damage to your organs,
and also find yourself sectioned. I hope you reconsider for now.

I've tried before, it nearly did work. I have no idea what to do, whether I should just go for it. I want to shut down, I want to stop thinking, I want to go to sleep forever.

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

I wish for the sweet oblivion of eternal sleep too. Not to have to feel the way I do anymore.
My possible methods are full suspension and maybe SN. What did you try before?

 

[nextstepdeath]

I wish for the sweet oblivion of eternal sleep too. Not to have to feel the way I do anymore.
My possible methods are full suspension and maybe SN. What did you try before?

Took 100+ tablets of sleeping pills and one or two other things. Considered as many different options as I can, hanging jumping setting fire to myself drowning.

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

Took 100+ tablets of sleeping pills and one or two other things. Considered as many different options as I can, hanging jumping setting fire to myself drowning.

I don't think it's possible anymore to od on sleeping pills, but they can still cause damage to your organs. I would not attempt using pills in general, most are designed so users can't od.

 

[nextstepdeath]

I don't think it's possible anymore to od on sleeping pills, but they can still cause damage to your organs. I would not attempt using pills in general, most are designed so users can't od.

When I tried in the past I went into intensive care. Talking to 999 now, genuinely tempted to take tablets again, I have more of them now than I did then. I stopped breathing when I took them before. If it nearly worked then it can probably work now, but I'm not doing it without having maximum confidence in it succeeding, not making any attempt that makes me mangled.

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

... but I'm not doing it without having maximum confidence in it succeeding, not making any attempt that makes me mangled.

i was relieved to hear you say this, please be careful!

 

[nextstepdeath]

i was relieved to hear you say this, please be careful!

I have just taken about 20 tablets. Starting small and going from there.
Probably about 40 now.

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

Please reconsider, there isn't a way to know for sure it will work. Like you said, you don't want
to end up mangled. Are you still on with 999?
How are you doing??

 

[nextstepdeath]

Please reconsider, there isn't a way to know for sure it will work. Like you said, you don't want
to end up mangled. Are you still on with 999?
How are you doing??

Rough but not mangled. Wasn't significant enough. Still got a lot of meds, might try hanging myself later

 

[maniac116]

I'm so sorry you want to leave but going by way of meds is not a dependable way to go. You really risk screwing your body up & winding up in worse shape or disabled.
Whatever your choices, I hope you find a place of peace

 

[nextstepdeath]

I'm so sorry you want to leave but going by way of meds is not a dependable way to go. You really risk screwing your body up & winding up in worse shape or disabled.
Whatever your choices, I hope you find a place of peace

Thanks, I will find a way

 

[nextstepdeath]

Endlessly told to shut up, all my life. When I commit I won't just shut up, I will shut down. Can't get through an environment, a system a society that revolves around telling people to shut up when it suits them and dictating how life should be lived when it doesn't. I will not be suppressed.