i couldn't get diagnosed here, but I feel like I found a patterns of "karmic relationship" in all my previous relationship. I could only say I could relate with instability and drastic change of my personality, mood, and priority.
Karmic relationship definition:
These relationships are characterized by a strong, immediate attraction and a sense of familiarity, but they also tend to be marked by emotional highs and lows, conflict, and a feeling of being stuck. While karmic relationships can be a catalyst for personal growth and learning, they are not always healthy or sustainable. thx ai >~<
Do your dbt and play to your strengths, you will have a lot of them.
Remember to do the things to keep you regulated: good environment, good people, strong boundaries with dbags, goals, healthy lifestyle options, developing e.reg techniques and being conscious of your own defense mechanisms (splitting etc) will go a long way in helping.
Also transparency with friends on the condition and some of the ways it can manifest will actually help you to bond. Just try to hold it together and not fixate/love bomb/trauma dump on people.
Edit:
Worth remembering that some of the more extreme bits of the illness are very susceptible to being stress induced: I had stress induced hallucinations/delusions last year and that's what has brought me here…
Stress management can be absolutely key to a happy(ish) healthy(ish) life with bpd
Most of them tends to be very intense but only last for like 2 - 7 months. A lot of trauma dumping happen, suicidal talk, codependency, panic or manic episode, love bombing, fixation- just like hankly said.
In the end, I always ends up hurting them, manipulating them, or using them. I always ends up changing and becoming someone who could constantly hurt them. My feelings switch so fast they feels betrayed from it.
From all my past mistake, now I'm trying learn to set more boundaries and hold myself back from impulsivity. To be much more transparent and warn people about my ability to inflict pain. To relate to people first before I acted on impulse, not for just their present well-being, but also their future well-being.
I believe it is possible eventually to sustain a healthy dynamic in a relationship. I think it just needs more trial and error.
Also, sometimes, two bpd / unstable people together make a great (or not) codependency partner for each other. In theory it sounds bad, but if you have no better solution, then maybe try it. I've been together with my partner for the past 2 years. Online, yes... We hurt each other a lot at first, but we always ends up back together. We probably don't have any better option than stay codependent together. Somehow, now we just completely understand each other and why we hurt each other. We are at the strongest poin of our relationship now. But, then again, it could be dangerous... It was dangerous... This is not a wise advice but maybe a redemption for those who desperate.
Sorry if I speak about myself way too much...