slapntickle
Member
- Oct 28, 2025
- 54
I've been thinking a lot recently about the optimal method on how to deliver 'notes' (or perhaps video clips) to the people I will leave behind, namely close friends, family and colleagues. I had always imagined that the best way would be a scheduled send email - that way, all the notes or attachments can be written in advance, worked on, edited etc and then when the CBT is planned, they can be schedule-sent for the next day or whenever is best. However, there are a few problems - firstly, I never use email to communicate with these people, and asking them for an email address honestly would raise some suspicions (or they may think they're getting a wedding invite...). Everybody that means anything to me I communicate with via WhatsApp. Secondly, there are people that may contact me (old friends etc) where I wouldn't leave a note to them directly, but I'd hate to think that they thought I was ignoring them if they write to me in future and the message is just left unread. At the moment, my initial plan is to implement the below shortly before CBTing:
1. change my primary WhatsApp number to WhatsApp business. This does alert people that I'm chatting with, but it doesn't show up in groups, and people do this for a variety of reasons. I would do this a few weeks or even months before CBTing just to make sure it's all working, and for any questions that are asked (as to why I did it) to be answered.
2. prepare a simple Notion website with a very simple database structure. The landing page would be just a brief obit (nothing heavy) explaining that I expired on x/x, and with key contacts that questions should be directed to (ie for personal affairs, business affairs, estate lawyers etc). There is an option to type your name to see if a note or video has been left to you. You type your name, and then a question pops-up. This question will be literally only answerable by that person (and me ofc), noone else will know. It's something funny that happened between us, or whatever. If they. get the question right, they get taken to the private page with the note that's dedicated to them. I could also add pictures that mean something to me, videos maybe explaining my choice and so on.
3. right before I CBT (so it would have to be like literally just before doing the SN), I add an autoresponder message to my WhatsApp explaining that I'm sadly dead, and that further info if desired can be found at the notion site, with a link to it.
...I'm sure this is a common problem that people have, and I'm really interested to hear how others do it. It's not that the above is a huge amount of work, but it's def something, and it's the kind of thing I could spend weeks doing if I wanted to. I do think that it's important to do this to allow those close to you to heal faster - I always imagine how horrific it would be when I read about parents, siblings etc losing someone and they just don't have a single thing, just find a hanging corpse or whatever. That is truly brutal. Having some kind of closure documents that explain the reasoning, and also reassure them that it wasn't their fault (and in my case it def wasn't), can surely only be a very good thing, and I can imagine them holding onto the words dearly.
1. change my primary WhatsApp number to WhatsApp business. This does alert people that I'm chatting with, but it doesn't show up in groups, and people do this for a variety of reasons. I would do this a few weeks or even months before CBTing just to make sure it's all working, and for any questions that are asked (as to why I did it) to be answered.
2. prepare a simple Notion website with a very simple database structure. The landing page would be just a brief obit (nothing heavy) explaining that I expired on x/x, and with key contacts that questions should be directed to (ie for personal affairs, business affairs, estate lawyers etc). There is an option to type your name to see if a note or video has been left to you. You type your name, and then a question pops-up. This question will be literally only answerable by that person (and me ofc), noone else will know. It's something funny that happened between us, or whatever. If they. get the question right, they get taken to the private page with the note that's dedicated to them. I could also add pictures that mean something to me, videos maybe explaining my choice and so on.
3. right before I CBT (so it would have to be like literally just before doing the SN), I add an autoresponder message to my WhatsApp explaining that I'm sadly dead, and that further info if desired can be found at the notion site, with a link to it.
...I'm sure this is a common problem that people have, and I'm really interested to hear how others do it. It's not that the above is a huge amount of work, but it's def something, and it's the kind of thing I could spend weeks doing if I wanted to. I do think that it's important to do this to allow those close to you to heal faster - I always imagine how horrific it would be when I read about parents, siblings etc losing someone and they just don't have a single thing, just find a hanging corpse or whatever. That is truly brutal. Having some kind of closure documents that explain the reasoning, and also reassure them that it wasn't their fault (and in my case it def wasn't), can surely only be a very good thing, and I can imagine them holding onto the words dearly.
