Venting Being physically abused by my genitors as a child wasted my whole life

[zdeweilx]

Between ages 8 to 14, my genitors have violently abused me physically, which I feel has traumatised me and scarred me for life. They would slap me, throw punches at me, kick me, push me to the ground, pull my hair violently, stomp on me, throw things at me, spit on me, and so on. Maybe I'm forgetting things.

They would also torture me psychologically by openly making fun of me, comparing me to my other siblings and forcing me to constantly apologize to them even though I wasn't doing anything wrong to them, which destroyed my self-esteem and confidence at a young age.

One day when I was around 10, they threw a bottle of water at my face, which literally opened my upper lip and led me to bleed massively. I closed my eyes and next time I know my lip had exploded, there was blood everywhere. My grandma then brought me to the hospital and a doctor did stitches on me. I still have a scar because of it of course.

They have never apologized for what they've done, and other family members never really cared about this.

I feel like I was born to suffer. I have never been more than a punching ball. I can't wait to end myself.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

By genitors I assume you mean both biological and step fathers?

I'm very sorry for what you've been through. I'm sure many of us can relate.

 

[zdeweilx]

By genitors I assume you mean both biological and step fathers?

I'm very sorry for what you've been through. I'm sure many of us can relate.

Thank you. The people who were supposed to be my biological parents did this.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I was never sent to the hospital but mine (yet, I can't predict what they could do), but I relate to the abuse part, and yes it DOES ruin your life and scar you forever. It is horrifying. Being torn into pieces by the two people that gave birth to you and that were MEANT to help/sustain/assist you. Instead they become your main two antagonists. And yeah, if there's also narcissism or the like at play, you can likely forget any apology of any type unless their lives depended on it. Some people never change, some change only when it's convenient to them. But still, the victim is left destroyed by abuse, and not always do those stories have a happy ending. I'm sorry that has happened to you, unfortunately I can't do much but I wish something will hopefully change/improve in your life.

 

[zdeweilx]

I was never sent to the hospital but mine (yet, I can't predict what they could do), but I relate to the abuse part, and yes it DOES ruin your life and scar you forever. It is horrifying. Being torn into pieces by the two people that gave birth to you and that were MEANT to help/sustain/assist you. Instead they become your main two antagonists. And yeah, if there's also narcissism or the like at play, you can likely forget any apology of any type unless their lives depended on it. Some people never change, some change only when it's convenient to them. But still, the victim is left destroyed by abuse, and not always do those stories have a happy ending. I'm sorry that has happened to you, unfortunately I can't do much but I wish something will hopefully change/improve in your life.

Thanks a lot for your message. Yes you described it very well. It never goes away and you're just left dealing with the traumas they have caused. I hope your situation will improve as well.