• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
As I read in one book, even our scores in computer games are weaker due to herd behavior. I can't keep my balance. Either I don't feel anything or I'm so emotional. If I don't feel anything, I achieve results in whatever I do, but how to be happy about it. It is tiring or so boring. I'm dead inside or out. I cannot function and I suffer or function indifferently. It is rather without a senus
 
  • Like
Reactions: DoNotLet2 and glittergore
glittergore

glittergore

the sea, the sea
Jun 16, 2020
119
It's a rough place to be in. You either find success or functionality but you don't care about it so it's pointless or you're too overwhelmed to find either while desperately wanting to. When I find myself oscillating between these two states, it's usually because I dissociate from my emotions when I'm in that more alive state, which induces that dead state and makes it difficult for me to learn how to actually cope. I'm sorry you're going through something similar.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: DoNotLet2
M

melp

Member
Aug 5, 2020
68
Maybe it's just depression. Only then I don't remember living without her. Everything is always meaningless or I am immersed in some simple activities. I know it doesn't matter, but after the drugs I'm even lower. Phaltically, I can't enjoy my successes so much.
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,564
Same, I'm either a living poker face-absolutely no emotions-empty OR a crying emotional mess
 
W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,939
I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. I've had a few moments of emotional breakdown in recent weeks, but mostly I just wear a mask. There is always either sadness or numbness underneath, but I can put on a really good show for others. My co-workers would have no idea. Only the people with whom I'm shared the details of my depression know my situation. Everyone else thinks I'm "perfectly normal." Hah.
 

Similar threads

M
Replies
6
Views
307
Suicide Discussion
sideways
sideways
deepsweetdiver
Replies
2
Views
203
Suicide Discussion
deepsweetdiver
deepsweetdiver
MourningFlower
Replies
5
Views
331
Suicide Discussion
MourningFlower
MourningFlower
Namelesa
Replies
2
Views
208
Recovery
ASilentHope
ASilentHope